hold the time

it is christmas day today, and i rushed back home from a friend's place in magill this morning. had to take a bus to the city, wait for a freaking hour for the bus to my house before i had to endure yet another 40minutes to finally arrive. it is a public holiday. yes, and that reads infrequent buses. as an economical public-transportation enthusiast, i still have problems with waiting. patience is virtue, undeniably, but if i were to accumulate the time spent just for the wait from all the years i've taken a public transport, i bet it could take up more than a quarter of my 21 years of life.

man, i can never roll back the time i've spent to just wait. in general, waiting is pure pain. it kills you from the inside - slowly and torturingly.

would you rather be the person waiting, or the person who made others wait?

sometimes, it can do you some good to choose the latter. less harm. but in fact, this varies to situation. and the kind of situation i am in now, i'd rather wait.


wait
wait wait
wait wait wait
wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait
wait wait
wait

if we wait and wait, would we be left behind? will we be static, or will we actually move together with the rest of the world. what if everyone waits..then the world would pause and nothing would happen. can we blame each other then, for everything we waited for will never be achieved?



***

had a game night with yusri "rifle", euan, and ho san. it was awesome.

some wild ride

it has been quite a long while since i pour some juice from this brain and devote some time to blogging. things are going at warp speed in whirlwinds. i've only got two hands and one body which, if i could, i would have divided into several other me's and delegate different stuff to do.

these few weeks have put me to the test of many things important in life. and the gracing skies have witnessed friendships and relationships being bonded in many ways unexpected.

i am happy for the days i have lived and survived - with faith and dignity still close in tact. some things are just too precious to be sacrificed for trivial matters, i found. and now, i put the selfishness aside and are able to realize that dependibility is salient at all cost. as it is a second nature to rely on nothing but myself, i have now learned the fine points of purposely putting yourself in the vulnerable spot and, just out of nothingness, hold out your hand for someone else to reach.

being in the house with no one else but the TV surely drives me to stay out and away as much as possible from it. after a few days slaving myself to the dirt and parasite in every nook and cranny of the house, i was left with nothing else to do.

during the days, i wear my alter ego: salad girl, and bust my ass of at the sri lankan eatery. hold on a sec, they eat salad in sri lanka? at least my days are not so bland. after work till night, i spend time with great company, friends who kill my nightmares of being cold and lonely in a house somewhere in the middle of nowhere. haha. thank god for them.

indeed, if i were to put things up in a bun (made-up expression. Li Eng hates it when i say it.lol), i will never be able to write about the experiences, the emotions, the thoughts and whatever else that comes in the package of these past few weeks.

a lot has happened:

1. the sydney-melbourne-Great Ocean Road trip. everything encased in this trip will definitely be in my top shelves of great episodes in life. what more, the trip is filled with unexpected encounters with people and the process of adapting and getting to know more about them..it was refreshing :)

2. zayna's graduation, as well as yusri's, euan's, my classmate in Lit (how the heck she graduate before me?), and some other friends. it was very momentous :)

3. meeting more people, old and new friends. the next time i see them, it could be my last time meeting them as the time has almost arrived for me to go back home. hehe


there are many other things, but as they say, time waits for no man, and now i might have to catch it. i will continue soon. ta!

it is a teasing truth

from the moment i wake up
to the moment i sleep
the image playing in fast motion
the music playing on repeat

same old story
again and
again and
over and
over and

i cant leave it there
where it belong
in that black box
with that old song

open up
clam up
shut up
close up

what do i do
to get through
of what is true
for me and you

Both sides the tweed

Yes, when all else fails, you have yourself to turn to. you have friends, therapists, family to share whatever that is bugging you, but nobody would understand what you go through but yourself. nobody could see the things you see from your point of view. indeed, our eyes may look the same, but they dont necessarily look at things the same way.

and after the endless conversations you have with your mind - contemplating over strict choices, pushing to make salient decisions - you have Him to drop you a hint. and then it's all up to you.

report

location: some korean cyber cafe. pitt street. sydney.

time: morning

purpose: download and upload photos.

elapse time: 24minutes

report: this is taking forever!