Saturday, February 25, 2006

the world has big tears


I just love rainfall. When it rains, I can feel certain tranquility and a squirt of contentment. I love the fact that people tend to shy away and keep under wraps in their houses or hideaway. And for a moment, the world would be at peace. All that can be heard is the sound of cars swooshing on the roads, pedestrians walking in puddles of water from the rain, and also the pitter-patter of raindrops on windows and surfaces. Bashful faunas that have been keeping themselves away can now reveal themselves. The croaking of frogs and toads occasionally breaks the silence. When all this beautiful things take place, I would go to my bedroom window and open up the panels so that I can breathe in the fresh and unsoiled air while the zephyr caress every inch of my face subtly. This is therapy to me. I don’t need any massages or costly spas; just the sense of being a part in this wonderful piece of nature can ease my clustered mind and soul. In houses, the smell of hot chocolate and quiet chatters filled the empty atmosphere. From where I sit, I can always see interesting ostensible performances of lights from all the headlights of cars, streetlights, glows from house windows and shops along the streets. In time, I would feel a jolt of excitement running through my veins and a feeling of serenity and delight would conquest my psyche and body. Yes, you might call this cheap thrill. But the feeling that you obtain from it is devastating and remarkable and incredibly priceless – seriously, you won’t get it in the market. And when the sound of thunder blared once in a while, my adrenaline rushes like mad. In a way, it excites me that much. The rain falls down gradually heavier and less people would be outside. The sight of some pedestrians desperately rushing to find shelter and some even with their things falling out of grip and tumble in the puddle just amuse me. It’s like the whole world is putting up a show on me, and I am the spectator of this marvelous piece.

It feels like the world is crying, and the raindrops are big tears. How irony that the superior world would shed tears. It tells me in a way that this entire thing is a symbol – imagine, a huge being like the world can cry, what about meek earthlings like us? We are weak, feeble, and frail, and that’s why we need help from Him. That’s why He’s the Almighty. He made something with reasons. And subsequently, a rainbow would form. All seven beautiful colors structure itself from a cloud to another, like a colorful bridge over cotton candies. That moment, it’s back to happy mode. The weather would be moderate – not too hot, not too cold. Everything smells fresh after a rainfall, the grass, the flowers, the air. People would start going out again from their cocoon and happy and cheerful chatters would be heard again. I like the fact that rain can bring both, joy and sorrow. When it rained, it’s dark and gloomy. And when it stops raining, it’s merry and vivid. It’s like the world has alter ego, or have PMS. Anyway, of all the weathers, I love rain the most. It’s also a very romantic weather. My fantasy would be that – to meet my guy in that circumstance. We would share an umbrella, or maybe just walk in the rain - all wet and drained. But in the end, it would all just be hilarious and romantic. How sexy!

of course, heavy rain can cause damages and what not, i like the fact that it just proves that rain can also be powerful. it can destroy things if it wants to. the rain can throw tantrums and nobody would blame it. i would love to be like that. it can be mild and sweet and all, but it can also be harsh and cruel. but all in all, i still love the rain and will still be sitting by the window watching the raindrops fall on the surface and spread into huge loops of water. and i'll still be enjoying the show of lights in the streets and houses. i'll still be smiling and grinning at pedestrians who rushes to find shelter. i'll be enjoying it for the rest of my life.

Friday, February 03, 2006

seventh heaven

Last night, right after I performed my Isyak prayers, still clad in my praying robe, I felt shivers all over my body. It was a totally different feeling – I’ve never felt anything like it before. How I should explain it, I myself do not know. It’s like a very special sensation, probably a mixture of various emotions. All I can say is that, I was at the peak of serenity, tranquility, and peacefulness. The composure and equanimity is just… pure. Strange, yet familiar. I don’t know, it seemed normal, but for once, I was in cloud nine. Yup, it was a piece of heaven. I have no idea how the heck I get that feeling or if I’ll ever feel it again… it’s all left to the unknown. Yeah, I very much love the unknown - as much as I love surprises. *sigh* anyway, at one point, I was aware that the feeling I experienced was just too overwhelming and too immense that I almost lost touch with the world, with the whole contents of it. You can say that I was at the highest high of ecstasy – I was in seventh heaven. It lasted for only about a millisecond, and moments after that everything was back to earth. I looked around and noticed in dizziness, that everything and everyone was doing their things as usual. Up until now, every time after I prayed, I hope to have that kind of feeling again, but I never did. I wish that I would, in the coming future. But, as homework, I’d still have to get it figured out – the feeling. I need to find out if it was some sort of a sign or something; I would never want to miss that out. Or probably, God just wanted me to feel a bit of happiness and contentment – have a taste of heaven. It could be because of that, considering I’ve been going through a lot for the past few days. In any case, it is certainly not something to be brag about. I would keep it to myself with the hope I’d have another helping of it – if it’s not too much to ask for. Till then, good night.