haha the midnight beasts really rock parodies! this is awesome. check it out. and stefan is cute hahaha
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
therapy for the eyes and soul
hey lately i've been kind of reallly down in the pits, and i thought it must have showed in some of my previous posts. guess i just need to let it out someway, and well, my blog is my cathartic escape. but i think im doing better. it sucks, the last few days. but hell, life's a b*tch and so what.
so i just suddenly felt the urge of putting up some photos from my trip with le familia through the Great Ocean Road (OZ), on new year's day, 2009. we saw the Twelve Apostles, and it was the highlight of the trip for me, as the panorama was just breath-taking!
so i just suddenly felt the urge of putting up some photos from my trip with le familia through the Great Ocean Road (OZ), on new year's day, 2009. we saw the Twelve Apostles, and it was the highlight of the trip for me, as the panorama was just breath-taking!
the twelve apostles
on the way to the end
from afar
subliminal
walking against the debris
long way to the end
hazard!
wow.
two things to do here:
1. suicide
2. propose
two things to do here:
1. suicide
2. propose
pitstop at Port Campbell
where we stayed for the night
this is the night when i slept really well. the bed!
where we sheltered. my sis is a real genius.
wearing close to nothing in one-digit celcius!
in her cheer stance. oh god.
in her cheer stance. oh god.
continued the trip
shooting galore
tempted to join
there were cows along the way,
like real healthy cows.
the parents insisted we stop to watch.
my sis, izlia, cried when we had to say goodbye to the pack.
guess she connected with 'em cows.
guess she connected with 'em cows.
somewhere on the way
port campbell from atop
how unfortunate, it wasnt a Sunday
a cow. small one.
a lobster. huge one.
no trash astray, even in the middle of nowhere!
look at the strip of ocean behind.
look at the strip of ocean behind.
against the coming of the night.
how to caption this! lost for words.
wondering if the world is too big for a human.
there are hundreds more of the trip. if i can find the time, or the patience (with the internet connection) i will put some up later. looking at the photos, the 'bellisimistic' view (ok, i coined that word up), is very therapeutic. it helps the soul. wish i was born, bred, and live in those surroundings. damn cool weyh!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
tenang.
semalaman aku tidak tidur. berkali-kali aku refill air teh di McD. jiwa kacau, hati racau lah katakan. berpaket-paket gula aku isi; rakus macam ambil dadah. aku keluar menenangkan emosi aku yang tatkala itu tak ubah seperti ombak menghempas pantai. rasa nak bantai orang pun ada. rasa nak meraung pun ada. rasa nak tutup muka dengan selimut pun ada.
aku layankan juga perasaan. keluar, dengan niat mencari ketenangan. beberapa insan yang prihatin mengajak ku keluar. sebelum itu, aku telah mengisi perut kosong dengan orang-orang terapat di restoran Hassan. gembira sikit hati. tapi tetap berombak.
lantas, jiwa lara ku dibawa ke ampang. mataku disogok pemandangan Kuala Lumpur yang terang benderang, dan langit tak berbintang memayungi ku. telinga disuap alunan muzik dari gitar kapok dendangan rakan ku dan bibir ku perlahan-lahan menyanyikan sekali bait-bait not yang dimainkan.
di antara gelak tawa dan senyuman, minda ku berulang-ulang kali memikirkan sesuatu. hal tersebut sememangnya tak ubah seperti wayang gambar, hampir sukar dipercayai. aku fikirkan, sambil lama-kelamaan hal itu hilang bersama angin yang bertiup menandakan akan hujan.
akhirnya, di tengah kota itu, hujan turun membasah bumi. begitu juga masalah ku, dan emosi ku, dan segala perasaan bercampur-baur di dalam hati ku - jatuh lumut ke tanah, dan hanyut dalam refleksi pada lopak-lopak air.
aku yakin bahawa hatiku akan senantiasa mengingat perasaan yang aku rasai pada malam itu, dan kotak memori ku pasti menyimpan kejadian itu dalam satu lubuk khas. namun, ku bahaskan jua dengan diriku yang perkara lepas tidak patut dijadikan halangan untuk terus maju dalam hidup, walau sesukar mana pun untuk aku lakukannya.
aku biarkan hilai tawa rakan-rakan ku menggamit ku kembali pada realiti. dan aku minum lagi teh panas tatkala kesejukkan hujan jam 5pagi. ku tenteramkan jiwa, ku motivasi diri agar kembali tenang. kembali pada keadaan asal. ku bayangkan ianya tidak pernah berlaku.
dan sesampai ku di rumah, sang matahari mula menyingkap awan malam, dan kelabu langit yang masih belum puas menangiskan hujan. ku buka tingkap, ku hirup udara segar pagi, ku lihat mendung awan jam 7, dan tiba-tiba jiwa ku menjadi kembali tenang. aku tersenyum sendiri. hidup siapa yang tiada masalah? biasalah, asam garam hidup.
lalu ku terus sarapkan halwa telinga dan hati dengan playlist cover instrumental oleh David Sides di youtube. lagu Take A Bow oleh rihanna. layan kan saja.
sekarang, masa untuk capai apa yang ku mahu. masa untuk bertindak.
apa pun, misi terbesar jangka masa pendekku perlu diselesaikan dulu: AE.
buat yang terbaik, izza.
ya, aku boleh.
aku layankan juga perasaan. keluar, dengan niat mencari ketenangan. beberapa insan yang prihatin mengajak ku keluar. sebelum itu, aku telah mengisi perut kosong dengan orang-orang terapat di restoran Hassan. gembira sikit hati. tapi tetap berombak.
lantas, jiwa lara ku dibawa ke ampang. mataku disogok pemandangan Kuala Lumpur yang terang benderang, dan langit tak berbintang memayungi ku. telinga disuap alunan muzik dari gitar kapok dendangan rakan ku dan bibir ku perlahan-lahan menyanyikan sekali bait-bait not yang dimainkan.
di antara gelak tawa dan senyuman, minda ku berulang-ulang kali memikirkan sesuatu. hal tersebut sememangnya tak ubah seperti wayang gambar, hampir sukar dipercayai. aku fikirkan, sambil lama-kelamaan hal itu hilang bersama angin yang bertiup menandakan akan hujan.
akhirnya, di tengah kota itu, hujan turun membasah bumi. begitu juga masalah ku, dan emosi ku, dan segala perasaan bercampur-baur di dalam hati ku - jatuh lumut ke tanah, dan hanyut dalam refleksi pada lopak-lopak air.
aku yakin bahawa hatiku akan senantiasa mengingat perasaan yang aku rasai pada malam itu, dan kotak memori ku pasti menyimpan kejadian itu dalam satu lubuk khas. namun, ku bahaskan jua dengan diriku yang perkara lepas tidak patut dijadikan halangan untuk terus maju dalam hidup, walau sesukar mana pun untuk aku lakukannya.
aku biarkan hilai tawa rakan-rakan ku menggamit ku kembali pada realiti. dan aku minum lagi teh panas tatkala kesejukkan hujan jam 5pagi. ku tenteramkan jiwa, ku motivasi diri agar kembali tenang. kembali pada keadaan asal. ku bayangkan ianya tidak pernah berlaku.
dan sesampai ku di rumah, sang matahari mula menyingkap awan malam, dan kelabu langit yang masih belum puas menangiskan hujan. ku buka tingkap, ku hirup udara segar pagi, ku lihat mendung awan jam 7, dan tiba-tiba jiwa ku menjadi kembali tenang. aku tersenyum sendiri. hidup siapa yang tiada masalah? biasalah, asam garam hidup.
lalu ku terus sarapkan halwa telinga dan hati dengan playlist cover instrumental oleh David Sides di youtube. lagu Take A Bow oleh rihanna. layan kan saja.
sekarang, masa untuk capai apa yang ku mahu. masa untuk bertindak.
apa pun, misi terbesar jangka masa pendekku perlu diselesaikan dulu: AE.
buat yang terbaik, izza.
ya, aku boleh.
the chest
in a lifetime, there will be a chest;
where you keep all the secrets,
all your wishes,
all your hopes
and your regrets.
that chest,
you lock
and the key,
you keep.
the chest remains,
the secrets,
the wishes
the hopes
and the regrets
remain.
the key,
remains.
it all remains,
with you
and only you.
where you keep all the secrets,
all your wishes,
all your hopes
and your regrets.
that chest,
you lock
and the key,
you keep.
the chest remains,
the secrets,
the wishes
the hopes
and the regrets
remain.
the key,
remains.
it all remains,
with you
and only you.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
why it rains.
in the words of my kanojo, wawa, who texted me some time today, he said that when we cry, the sky cries with us.
and tonight, the rain pours, as though it has been secretly trying not to in years.
and tonight, the rain pours, as though it has been secretly trying not to in years.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
damn it
please,
i want to get done with my AE.
i want to get done with all of these.
then i just want to go someplace very very far
some place nobody can find me, especially not you
i just want to get away from this!!!!
:'(
i want to get done with my AE.
i want to get done with all of these.
then i just want to go someplace very very far
some place nobody can find me, especially not you
i just want to get away from this!!!!
:'(
aku dan angin
tiada khabar
tiada berita
hanya anginan
terus bertiup
bawa derita
di mana kamu
di saat ini
terusan pergi
tinggalkan aku
mengulam hati
hell week
last week was the hellest of weeks. i couldn't even stop a friggin second to check out my hair, i almost forgot how i even look like. it was a series of madness, and nerve-wrecking moments. if you dare ask, i would say i would never ever want to repeat last week.
on tuesday, we had the final presentation for our current issues class. we were the last group to present, and it was the toughest issue to be presented. "education and globalization"..man, that could be anything under the sun! its like talking about the other 14 topics that has been presented from the beginning of the semester! anyhow, the presentation was prolly not the best i've had, but it was alright, and we all had a moment there where we just felt a little, well, sad. Madam K was our lecturer, and she taught us once when we were in part 3 (ethics), and she had seen us all grow up to be the people we all are today.
on thursday, my group presented our short video for Japanese class. it was amateur-ish (especially in the language department), but i think, in that sense, it was still good. im really proud of all my last minute works so far. haha. it was also the final class for japanese. i had known some wonderful people from that class, and grown closer to some i've known before. on this final class too, i learned two things. that my sensei was the one who sent a report to the HEP (hal ehwal pelajar) saying i didnt come to class for 4 times, and i received a warning letter addressed to my parents' house. my dad flipped but i remained calm. haha. second, i got to know that i had the lowest in the class for the on-going marks for japanese. 30.2 /40. and the rest of the class got 32, or 34 or whatever, and the highest was 39/40. it was very disappointing for me, as i know if i had the time, i would have done better.
later in the evening, my partner and i, presented on the poem analysis we did for contemporary literature. it was great, we had chemistry (as we just knew each other) and i think we nailed it for the presentation. during this class also, i realized i've made some great friends. i wish we had more time to get to know each other more. they're all pretty awesome.
on friday, i focused all my attention in getting the courseware done, and i missed the deadline for a very important thing. i was really bumped. but on the brightside, my courseware turned out rather cool and awesome-ish. thanks to my friends (who had done it earlier and had some tips to share) in showing me the ropes. another astounding last minute touch.
the weekend turned out to be a whirlwind of things. i couldn't really remember what i did, but i was very sleepy and lethargic. oh yea, i went to the Shah Alam public library for the first time in like 4 years of my study life to do my AE. and sunday i went back to my parents' house (but for only like 3hours) after more than a month. i love the smell of my house. i miss all the little corners and ornaments. i miss the view of sunset from the porch.
one of my only few solace to sanity, which is to fly the kite, has been sabotaged. it rained everytime im about to fly it. i have a very colourful kite, like a vibrant rainbow, and it would be very calming and wonderful if i could see it swimming in the air against the pale blue sky. i need to get sane, i need to pull myself together. and i couldnt. thus, i was sad and my week was horrible.
that was a snippet of what happened last week. full of despair and hopelessness. but in the end, i made it through with some optimism.
on tuesday, we had the final presentation for our current issues class. we were the last group to present, and it was the toughest issue to be presented. "education and globalization"..man, that could be anything under the sun! its like talking about the other 14 topics that has been presented from the beginning of the semester! anyhow, the presentation was prolly not the best i've had, but it was alright, and we all had a moment there where we just felt a little, well, sad. Madam K was our lecturer, and she taught us once when we were in part 3 (ethics), and she had seen us all grow up to be the people we all are today.
on thursday, my group presented our short video for Japanese class. it was amateur-ish (especially in the language department), but i think, in that sense, it was still good. im really proud of all my last minute works so far. haha. it was also the final class for japanese. i had known some wonderful people from that class, and grown closer to some i've known before. on this final class too, i learned two things. that my sensei was the one who sent a report to the HEP (hal ehwal pelajar) saying i didnt come to class for 4 times, and i received a warning letter addressed to my parents' house. my dad flipped but i remained calm. haha. second, i got to know that i had the lowest in the class for the on-going marks for japanese. 30.2 /40. and the rest of the class got 32, or 34 or whatever, and the highest was 39/40. it was very disappointing for me, as i know if i had the time, i would have done better.
later in the evening, my partner and i, presented on the poem analysis we did for contemporary literature. it was great, we had chemistry (as we just knew each other) and i think we nailed it for the presentation. during this class also, i realized i've made some great friends. i wish we had more time to get to know each other more. they're all pretty awesome.
on friday, i focused all my attention in getting the courseware done, and i missed the deadline for a very important thing. i was really bumped. but on the brightside, my courseware turned out rather cool and awesome-ish. thanks to my friends (who had done it earlier and had some tips to share) in showing me the ropes. another astounding last minute touch.
the weekend turned out to be a whirlwind of things. i couldn't really remember what i did, but i was very sleepy and lethargic. oh yea, i went to the Shah Alam public library for the first time in like 4 years of my study life to do my AE. and sunday i went back to my parents' house (but for only like 3hours) after more than a month. i love the smell of my house. i miss all the little corners and ornaments. i miss the view of sunset from the porch.
one of my only few solace to sanity, which is to fly the kite, has been sabotaged. it rained everytime im about to fly it. i have a very colourful kite, like a vibrant rainbow, and it would be very calming and wonderful if i could see it swimming in the air against the pale blue sky. i need to get sane, i need to pull myself together. and i couldnt. thus, i was sad and my week was horrible.
that was a snippet of what happened last week. full of despair and hopelessness. but in the end, i made it through with some optimism.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
minggu menakutkan
minggu ini sudah hampir tamat. pelbagai perkara yang telah terjadi - ada yang seperti diharapkan, ada yang tidak. namun itu semua adalah norma kehidupan. kini, aku hanya berharap penghujung minggu ini akan menjanjikan pengurusan masa yang lebih teratur agar semua kerja dapat ku selesaikan. amin.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
saya kurang selesa
saya tidak gemar/kurang selesa dengan:
1. gambar orang yang latar belakangnya luas.
ermm maksudnya dalam foto tersebut ada orang tetapi nampak kecil sahaja dan background nya melitupi hampir segenap ruang gambar. contoh:
ini kerana ia membuatkan saya rasa takut dan inferior kepada alam persekitaran tatkala melihat gambar-gambar sebegitu. rasa seperti hati sayup. seperti mengingatkan saya betapa kerdilnya manusia.
2. melihat kaki orang di bawah pintu.
tidak kira lah ada kaki atau tidak, tetapi saya tidak suka meletakkan pipi di lantai dan melihat melalui ruang bawah pintu. aksi ini membuatkan saya rasa claustrophobic walaupun hakikatnya saya tidak berasa sebegitu dalam situasi lain. contoh:
3. kombinasi bau rokok dan (isi tempat kosong)
ini antara benda yang saya tidak suka dan tidak boleh elak. perokok dan bau rokok masih boleh saya tolerate, cuma dalam situasi di mana bau rokok tersebut telah bercampur baur dengan, katakan, bau nafas perokok tersebut (yang sudah memang berbau), atau bercampur dengan bau badan, agak sukar untuk saya terima. ini kerana, terdapat pelbagai cara untuk mengelak: chewing gum, gula-gula etc.
itu sahaja buat masa ini.
*menari dalam separa pusingan, sambil tangan ke udara melambai-lambai*
1. gambar orang yang latar belakangnya luas.
ermm maksudnya dalam foto tersebut ada orang tetapi nampak kecil sahaja dan background nya melitupi hampir segenap ruang gambar. contoh:
ini kerana ia membuatkan saya rasa takut dan inferior kepada alam persekitaran tatkala melihat gambar-gambar sebegitu. rasa seperti hati sayup. seperti mengingatkan saya betapa kerdilnya manusia.
2. melihat kaki orang di bawah pintu.
tidak kira lah ada kaki atau tidak, tetapi saya tidak suka meletakkan pipi di lantai dan melihat melalui ruang bawah pintu. aksi ini membuatkan saya rasa claustrophobic walaupun hakikatnya saya tidak berasa sebegitu dalam situasi lain. contoh:
3. kombinasi bau rokok dan (isi tempat kosong)
ini antara benda yang saya tidak suka dan tidak boleh elak. perokok dan bau rokok masih boleh saya tolerate, cuma dalam situasi di mana bau rokok tersebut telah bercampur baur dengan, katakan, bau nafas perokok tersebut (yang sudah memang berbau), atau bercampur dengan bau badan, agak sukar untuk saya terima. ini kerana, terdapat pelbagai cara untuk mengelak: chewing gum, gula-gula etc.
itu sahaja buat masa ini.
*menari dalam separa pusingan, sambil tangan ke udara melambai-lambai*
Saturday, April 10, 2010
best and worst week
this week could be both the best and the worst week.
why the worst?
1. what else, assignments and AE due. =.="
2. we are nearing the exam weeks! wargghh! :o
3. it would be the third last week of my friggin student life..ever! T.T
4. hence, saying farewells, reminiscing, crying, hugging, goodbyes etc which im not particularly good at (though im not that good at keeping relationships either. bad at returning calls!) :s
5. just the fact of having to say goodbye to (almost) everything. T.T :'(
why the best?
1. performing our co-cu drama that we've been practicing, finally! such a wonderful experience. ^.^
2. it's almost the end of uni life, now i get to go to work and see if i fit in! haha :D
3. pre-grad dinner! :p
4. hence, another performance i've been sickly waiting to perform..
why the worst?
1. what else, assignments and AE due. =.="
2. we are nearing the exam weeks! wargghh! :o
3. it would be the third last week of my friggin student life..ever! T.T
4. hence, saying farewells, reminiscing, crying, hugging, goodbyes etc which im not particularly good at (though im not that good at keeping relationships either. bad at returning calls!) :s
5. just the fact of having to say goodbye to (almost) everything. T.T :'(
why the best?
1. performing our co-cu drama that we've been practicing, finally! such a wonderful experience. ^.^
2. it's almost the end of uni life, now i get to go to work and see if i fit in! haha :D
3. pre-grad dinner! :p
4. hence, another performance i've been sickly waiting to perform..
this is how i dream to end my student life:
to show them who the real Gaga is! lol
:z :o yey!
:z :o yey!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
zombie goes to starbucks
i was a walking zombie today. proof?
i felt like my body was beaten up bad like total-rotten type, psychologically abused like i was put on some electric chair with cables stuck to my head and my hair burnt and hit my brain with some ion or that particle shit we learnt at school and i died (only metaphorically. Dear God, i dont intend to pray for this).
i was literally bust out, no energy, not even the slightest milimeter (0.0000000000000001 %) of strength to even walk from my bed to the door to open it. heck, my hand cant even reach out from the bed to my table (which is only next to the bed!) to get my phone!
i rose out of bed, feeling brutally bruised, walking with head tilted and eyes in-between droopy and bulging out. i had no idea what i answered for my Nihongo test this morning which i studied the whole night and morning for as i was too sleepy like super nasty. some people might think i partied the whole night before and came to class hungover!
the look of the day: the combination of Ke$ha (wasted and couldnt care less) and miserable desperate housewife (prolly Lynette Scavo multiply by ten) and also a glimpse of a stray cat (i look like i could use some calcium).
a lot happened in between;, replacement classes, discussions, classes, assignments etc but what turned up my day were:
thanks to java chip and my parents, also to tarts and taj for spending a few secs out of their busy schedule with me.
i hope my zombie days to come will be better. and maybe i can upgrade to vampire status, coz it seems fashionable to be one nowadays. only i'd trade blood for syrup.
i felt like my body was beaten up bad like total-rotten type, psychologically abused like i was put on some electric chair with cables stuck to my head and my hair burnt and hit my brain with some ion or that particle shit we learnt at school and i died (only metaphorically. Dear God, i dont intend to pray for this).
i was literally bust out, no energy, not even the slightest milimeter (0.0000000000000001 %) of strength to even walk from my bed to the door to open it. heck, my hand cant even reach out from the bed to my table (which is only next to the bed!) to get my phone!
i rose out of bed, feeling brutally bruised, walking with head tilted and eyes in-between droopy and bulging out. i had no idea what i answered for my Nihongo test this morning which i studied the whole night and morning for as i was too sleepy like super nasty. some people might think i partied the whole night before and came to class hungover!
the look of the day: the combination of Ke$ha (wasted and couldnt care less) and miserable desperate housewife (prolly Lynette Scavo multiply by ten) and also a glimpse of a stray cat (i look like i could use some calcium).
a lot happened in between;, replacement classes, discussions, classes, assignments etc but what turned up my day were:
starbuck's Java Chip (one and only favourite)
yummayh! thank you to whoever invented this,
and the barrista who made it super special today.
ibu and ayah
thank you for the instinctive call
Ayah: buat apa?
Me: baring.
Ayah: huh? baring? are you ok?!?
*it is seldom that when he (or my mom) calls im lying down or relaxing,
im always, always in the middle of something*
i hope my zombie days to come will be better. and maybe i can upgrade to vampire status, coz it seems fashionable to be one nowadays. only i'd trade blood for syrup.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
the latest 6 things
1. for the last two posts i've been starting to use a larger font. haha i found that i cant see very clear when im typing in the dim yellow light, without my glasses.
2. i came back from having lunch, and felt very tired and dozy. so i laid on the bed and next thing i know, i woke up +- 4hours after! geez. i hate sleeping in daylight. what a waste. *i hate sleeping during the day, and during rain. just something i dont like to do*
3. so consequently, i woke up, got online for a bit, and then there was this announcement:
"perhatian eh, kepada semua penghuni pangsapuri anggerik, kami dari MBSA akan melakukan kerja-kerja penyemburan untuk denggi. haa, di harap anda dapat berikan kerjasama dengan membuka pintu rumah sebelum penyemburan bermula. sekian."
and then there were people throwing back replies and all:
"Lerrrhh, apsal sekarang?! pund*k!!"
"hahhh?? bukan haritu dah ke? teruk ke denggi kat sini?!"
"aku tengah makan lahhhh!!!!"
and then there was me, sitting quietly thinking ohh shitt now i have to get up and cover up all the food (not that theres any) and go open the door.
but i kinda felt amused though, thinking about how this place (this "apartment" where i stayed) is so communal that i can hear somebody's (from god-knows which floor) alarm clock everyday at 1am in the morn (why 1am anyway?), hear somebody's baby cry at 4am, the occasional mother scolding her children in a maniac manner (complete with sound effects from the kitchen - pots and pans clanking etc), and all those remarks mentioned above about the fogging.
my room is facing the corridor, where i can see people walking going to their houses, and they, can see me. i can see people's windows, and even when i shut my windows, i can still hear them. i practically memorized what ringtones people from my block used - coz i always hear them ringing! *but im gonna miss all these when i move out next few months*
4. that aside, im down with the flu..nothing special there. just a running nose, if u havent seen one. hahaha. *lame joke, mannn i sucked*
5. i have +- 15 more days before the submission of my AE and im flipped yo! it would take a miracle for me to get it done by then! *no you wise ass, you can get it done if you move away from this blog and stop being online and do your work instead!*
6. whatever.
2. i came back from having lunch, and felt very tired and dozy. so i laid on the bed and next thing i know, i woke up +- 4hours after! geez. i hate sleeping in daylight. what a waste. *i hate sleeping during the day, and during rain. just something i dont like to do*
3. so consequently, i woke up, got online for a bit, and then there was this announcement:
"perhatian eh, kepada semua penghuni pangsapuri anggerik, kami dari MBSA akan melakukan kerja-kerja penyemburan untuk denggi. haa, di harap anda dapat berikan kerjasama dengan membuka pintu rumah sebelum penyemburan bermula. sekian."
and then there were people throwing back replies and all:
"Lerrrhh, apsal sekarang?! pund*k!!"
"hahhh?? bukan haritu dah ke? teruk ke denggi kat sini?!"
"aku tengah makan lahhhh!!!!"
and then there was me, sitting quietly thinking ohh shitt now i have to get up and cover up all the food (not that theres any) and go open the door.
but i kinda felt amused though, thinking about how this place (this "apartment" where i stayed) is so communal that i can hear somebody's (from god-knows which floor) alarm clock everyday at 1am in the morn (why 1am anyway?), hear somebody's baby cry at 4am, the occasional mother scolding her children in a maniac manner (complete with sound effects from the kitchen - pots and pans clanking etc), and all those remarks mentioned above about the fogging.
my room is facing the corridor, where i can see people walking going to their houses, and they, can see me. i can see people's windows, and even when i shut my windows, i can still hear them. i practically memorized what ringtones people from my block used - coz i always hear them ringing! *but im gonna miss all these when i move out next few months*
4. that aside, im down with the flu..nothing special there. just a running nose, if u havent seen one. hahaha. *lame joke, mannn i sucked*
5. i have +- 15 more days before the submission of my AE and im flipped yo! it would take a miracle for me to get it done by then! *no you wise ass, you can get it done if you move away from this blog and stop being online and do your work instead!*
6. whatever.
Monday, April 05, 2010
things i learned in class 4
nothing extra special today, just the fact that it was the last class for asian literature. it was pretty boring at first as i thought most of the things are rhetoric and like duh im an asian, i dont need to know all these values. but as time rolled and we learned more about the intricate asian rituals and cultures that i have otherwise been oblivious to, i began to love it and to appreciate where i came from more.
my friend and i, we got to present a short story written by Nay Myo Thant about a life of an old woman in Myanmar. the title's "The Tamarind Tree". first we thought it was rather simple, like geez are you freaking challenging my intellectual? kinda feeling, but soon we discovered that its more than just a tamarind tree. i had great pleasure researching for this. nothing extravagant, simple language, but it goes far in depth.
anyways, since today was the last class, i paid extra attention to Mdm Rosalind. she talked summed up about all the things we've learned i had to agree that i really learned a lot from the texts we studied. but one of the points she made, really strucked me. she said:
"there is a difference between being educated and qualified.."
you can go to college and get yourself a freaking degree, but still act with no morale, and then you can just be a plain joe not even graduating from high school but have the best attitude.
you see, you dont need to go to college or school to be educated. education can take place anywhere at any-freaking-time. education is supposed to make you a better person, not the other way around.
i really liked about what she said. it made me think about what i've become throughout these years i spent in uni. and if im ever gonna make a proper human.
my friend and i, we got to present a short story written by Nay Myo Thant about a life of an old woman in Myanmar. the title's "The Tamarind Tree". first we thought it was rather simple, like geez are you freaking challenging my intellectual? kinda feeling, but soon we discovered that its more than just a tamarind tree. i had great pleasure researching for this. nothing extravagant, simple language, but it goes far in depth.
anyways, since today was the last class, i paid extra attention to Mdm Rosalind. she talked summed up about all the things we've learned i had to agree that i really learned a lot from the texts we studied. but one of the points she made, really strucked me. she said:
"there is a difference between being educated and qualified.."
you can go to college and get yourself a freaking degree, but still act with no morale, and then you can just be a plain joe not even graduating from high school but have the best attitude.
you see, you dont need to go to college or school to be educated. education can take place anywhere at any-freaking-time. education is supposed to make you a better person, not the other way around.
i really liked about what she said. it made me think about what i've become throughout these years i spent in uni. and if im ever gonna make a proper human.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
i am boring and (now) weird/loony.
i have turned into a strictly boring person these days, all no thanks to assignments and my academic exercise. but on second thought, i remembered: in the words of pn.normalizah, a motivator, she said that its human nature to point fingers to others and not ourselves. (doesnt take a motivator to tell you that huh? heck i dont want to waste my youth in prison for plagiarism. better be safe than sorry. so im quoting this)
therefore in this case, i guess im just being human, blaming assignments for sucking up my jovial juices out of me. sheesh.
anyways, as i was watching 'Water' (by Deepa Mehta, an award-winning film about the pre-determined lives of widows in India), i was making mental notes about some serious crap and at the same time, thought about some mind-blowing vein-straining issues regarding err yours truly. (talk about multi-thinking). sure, chauvanists have their best interests for themselves, and heck who says its a crime? how often do i get to do checks-and-balances on myself anyway. but why during this film? i dont even know if the Milky Way exists. (connection? i just dont know why)
i was thinking and thinking, and God bless my soul, i hit a jackpot. i realized something and its overwhelming! it kind of explains many of the things i was like huh? about. its a whole lump like a tumor that im afraid if i say it out loud, not only my roommate would hear me, but the "tumor" might spread to every possible healthy organ in my body.
drama aside, i have a serious confession.
i might be a commitment phoebe.
there, there, i said it! fuhh moksha seketika! you're on your first step to rehabilitation! let's skip the "hello, im zordon the god of power rangers, and im a commitment phoebe (that explains why im stuck in that blue-ish tank with only my head coz actually i dont have a girlfriend coz im a body-less freak)" *clap clap* "hello zordon!", the rest of the group chirped.
well, now that i've admitted to it..what next? start making commitments? dang it. i can start with having a pet. and guess i can start with a fish, easier. (well used to have one, Iman, but died, out of starvation. wasnt my fault! i was just away for a long time! and came back seeing it float *guilt and grief*).
or maybe a turtle? (used to have one too, Abdullah. took special care of it till it was like as huge as i dont know, just real huge like a gargantuan sort and it ran away. in all that weight and size, how can it get away so quickly?! this, i must clarify, is not my fault. maybe i've raised it to be independant and adventurous. it took my good values and maybe went backpacking [re: the shell] to the lorong sebelah? or the hills further up my house? haha he would've looked so cute climbing up and breaking a sweat on his amphibian skin. he'd love the hills more than his bright red super tank [read: plain ol' mega container we once used for the laundry] now talking about him made me miss him a lot. *imaginary tears somersaulting down my silky cheeks*)
anyways, i've got to go back to my boring self again and resume the pile of Damnation (otherwise known as assignments). aaarrrrggghhhh! rahhh-rahh-rumma-mahhh!! *break into breakdance to the beat of Bad Romance*
therefore in this case, i guess im just being human, blaming assignments for sucking up my jovial juices out of me. sheesh.
anyways, as i was watching 'Water' (by Deepa Mehta, an award-winning film about the pre-determined lives of widows in India), i was making mental notes about some serious crap and at the same time, thought about some mind-blowing vein-straining issues regarding err yours truly. (talk about multi-thinking). sure, chauvanists have their best interests for themselves, and heck who says its a crime? how often do i get to do checks-and-balances on myself anyway. but why during this film? i dont even know if the Milky Way exists. (connection? i just dont know why)
i was thinking and thinking, and God bless my soul, i hit a jackpot. i realized something and its overwhelming! it kind of explains many of the things i was like huh? about. its a whole lump like a tumor that im afraid if i say it out loud, not only my roommate would hear me, but the "tumor" might spread to every possible healthy organ in my body.
drama aside, i have a serious confession.
i might be a commitment phoebe.
there, there, i said it! fuhh moksha seketika! you're on your first step to rehabilitation! let's skip the "hello, im zordon the god of power rangers, and im a commitment phoebe (that explains why im stuck in that blue-ish tank with only my head coz actually i dont have a girlfriend coz im a body-less freak)" *clap clap* "hello zordon!", the rest of the group chirped.
well, now that i've admitted to it..what next? start making commitments? dang it. i can start with having a pet. and guess i can start with a fish, easier. (well used to have one, Iman, but died, out of starvation. wasnt my fault! i was just away for a long time! and came back seeing it float *guilt and grief*).
or maybe a turtle? (used to have one too, Abdullah. took special care of it till it was like as huge as i dont know, just real huge like a gargantuan sort and it ran away. in all that weight and size, how can it get away so quickly?! this, i must clarify, is not my fault. maybe i've raised it to be independant and adventurous. it took my good values and maybe went backpacking [re: the shell] to the lorong sebelah? or the hills further up my house? haha he would've looked so cute climbing up and breaking a sweat on his amphibian skin. he'd love the hills more than his bright red super tank [read: plain ol' mega container we once used for the laundry] now talking about him made me miss him a lot. *imaginary tears somersaulting down my silky cheeks*)
anyways, i've got to go back to my boring self again and resume the pile of Damnation (otherwise known as assignments). aaarrrrggghhhh! rahhh-rahh-rumma-mahhh!! *break into breakdance to the beat of Bad Romance*
Thursday, April 01, 2010
misi terdekat gue
my super-short term goals for today include (masakan bisa gue nemui kesemuanya! ayuh berdoa!):
1. refine chapter 3 and add more to chapter 2 (thesis gue yang entah ke manak ni kok!)
2. begin approaching respondents (masih untuk thesis gue, harep ada yang ingin nolong gratis!)
3. start writing movie review for 'Water', submit this weekend (yang ini khilaf gue kok, patut udah di anter isnin lalu)
4. kite-flying! (yaa, udah selesai kesemuanya yang di atas itu, gue berhak memanjakan diri gue dengan beraktivis riadah gitu. kok intuisi gue kuat ngatakan gue enggak bisa selesain semuanya! ah nggak papa, gue tetep akan ke taman ngebarin lelayang gue!!)
my youtube fix for today, memang sumpah awesome:
original by taio cruz feat ludacris, "break your heart". i've fallen musically in love with kurt and frank. btw, kurt and sam tsui was featured on oprah!
1. refine chapter 3 and add more to chapter 2 (thesis gue yang entah ke manak ni kok!)
2. begin approaching respondents (masih untuk thesis gue, harep ada yang ingin nolong gratis!)
3. start writing movie review for 'Water', submit this weekend (yang ini khilaf gue kok, patut udah di anter isnin lalu)
4. kite-flying! (yaa, udah selesai kesemuanya yang di atas itu, gue berhak memanjakan diri gue dengan beraktivis riadah gitu. kok intuisi gue kuat ngatakan gue enggak bisa selesain semuanya! ah nggak papa, gue tetep akan ke taman ngebarin lelayang gue!!)
my youtube fix for today, memang sumpah awesome:
original by taio cruz feat ludacris, "break your heart". i've fallen musically in love with kurt and frank. btw, kurt and sam tsui was featured on oprah!
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