TMI

I feel like there's too much information out there that I just suffocate myself at the end of every process of trying to dive my nose in and swallow it all.

There are so many things that I don't want to know, but I found out, coz they are there in the open.

I don't want to know things I don't want to know; I don't want to read about them, see them, or talk about them in conversations just coz both you and me got to know about it, although we both feel it's not something we would want to know and talk about.

And the sources; it's unbelievable how you can be blamed for not knowing a certain piece of information because all the available forms of communication and resources subjected you to a responsibility to know everything, even without your full consent.

Working in the news room, I feel like I know so many unnecessary things; but I need to dig in through all the shitty stories to uncover gems - important news.

I need to develop thicker filter, be more selective.

By the end of every day, I spend a good hour just staring into space all by myself to detox my brain, empty my recycle bin.

Tired of information. The world is TMI.

I will explode and pieces of my brain will splatter across this screen. Oh sorry, TMI.

Even Though I'm A Woman

Even Though I'm A Woman by Seeker Lover Keeper

Every single word.

Shake Yo Bootay

On the Arrow.

At this age, I am nowhere close to where I should be; at least not by my own standards. I cried, the night of my 24^th birthday last December. Don’t start about owning a car and a house; I haven’t even gotten a Master’s Degree like I planned to.

I’m sure this is one of the many life lessons I’m supposed to learn from – that none of your plans will go accordingly. I hit so many road blocks, that I’m starting to think this process of maturity is hindering me from actually getting there.

But of course, nothing wrong with that if you’re an optimist, you know it’s going to turn out fine for you at the end of the day, no matter what.  Maybe you’re just tired of waiting for things to be alright – at the expense of time, especially when you’re not getting younger.  And I’m an impatient person.

If life is the ocean, I’d definitely be in the middle of it; just floating and drifting without a life jacket, not seeing a glimpse of where the end of it is, not the beach, not a boat, not even an island, looking up at the sky, and not even knowing the end of that either.  And most importantly, not knowing the day I would give up and just drown to death.

I hope at least five years from now, when I look back at this post, and think how ridiculous I was for worrying too much. How stupid to even think I would drown and not make it out alive.

But for now, I feel like I’m on the arrow; I feel a sense of the motion, I feel like something is bringing me somewhere, but I have no idea where the arrow would hit, and if it’s the target I was aiming for.

Zen-tastic!

I think that it's true, how you actually become calmer as you grow older. I'm a very emotional person, in the sense that I react heavily to how I feel at any particular moment. And I will react in the most extreme ways. I never am just happy, I am ecstatic. I am never just sad, I am always devastated and heart-broken. I am all or nothing. So it's naturally a strain when I have to control how I feel and how I show my emotions to other people. But now, I think the hard rocks of life have shaped me to fit in the mild and average. I take deep breaths more than anything else now, and I view life with Zen-eyes. Hahaha. Well, life's a bitch. Either you become one yourself, or accept it the way it is.