It is a form of addiction and obsession.

Russell Brand on Katy Perry.

I want to have the same amount of passion for the same person for the rest of my life. 

The one kind of love that won't disappoint

So everybody in this world has at one point in a day thought about Love. Somehow, some way - be it good or bad. No matter how overrated it is. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Having convinced you to think that it is ok, in total contrast, I have now chosen to (though as impossible as it may seem) not think about it. Why? Because haha. Because I have no idea. Because maybe I think it should not be over-thought and that we should let the chips fall where they may.

Like how a stranger flashed a dashing smile at me this morning and held the door so that I can swish-swash my way in elegantly through the majestic entrance. Pure, platonic love. Out of pure kindness for another human being.

Therefore if you're feeling a tad lonely on this cold Friday night, do know you're not meant to be so. The choice is yours buddy. Go out, have fun, dance in the rain. Whatever. That's how love happens. When it's the last thing you're thinking about.

For all you lonely souls, wandering the urban landscape with trailing wet footsteps on the puddled pavements, I offer you the one kind of love I have: the love for music.

Life's too short to think too much. Have a wonderful weekend, and I mean it.

Everything is One by Inner Prisms

Per Te

Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine 

Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
And now you're lit up by the city
So

Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower call
Then pass us by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Leave and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And

Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapeze
Swing as high as any savior
But

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
Had an element of danger
So

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of G-d and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers



Sigh..when can I ever see him perform live?


Per te: E per Lei, i cantano questa canzone. Per favore mi ricordi nei Suoi sogni quando Lei può.

Constant Surprises

"..some call it coincidence,
But I like to call it fate.."

-Little Dragon, Constant Surprises.

For My Dad

Long Time by CAKE

Thanks Dad, for raising me up with great music. You've got impeccable taste and your deep love for music has influenced me in so many ways.

This one's for you, as you were responsible for introducing me to CAKE and it has been my go-to CD (Fashion Nugget) everytime I miss the family during my boarding school days.

The only person who understands my musical inclinations during our schooling years would only be Charlie Fa..remember Teenage Dirtbag? :)

It's always a lovely feeling whenever you find someone who shares the same music preferences as you.

Love you, Dad. (and it's not even your birthday haha)

Bad Anniversary

Twilight by Elliot Smith

October is always a gloomy month for me - wherever I am, whatever the season. It is the month he died.

And the day I found out is still very clear - I was on the way home in the bus. And I cried my heart out, nearly leaving the guy sitting next to me in shock.

Here, a person I don't even know in person, could have such a large impact on me. That's what music does - it connects and affects people in magical ways.

Sad Toys

by Ishikawa Takuboku

When I breathe,
This sound in my chest
Lonelier than the winter wind


In the opening poem of 'Sad Toys', translated by Sanford Goldstein and Seishi Shinoda.

Don't shave 'em (no not yours)

So I have come to a point where I confuse myself more than anything else in the world.

And most probably this major intertwining of multiple confusions could have subjected me to finally decide to remove myself from myself. Heck, is this even possible?

 How do I then become myself when I am not myself? Absolutely not weird, just quizzing.

In this past few weeks, too many things have happened all at once, over-whelmingly (like throngs of noisy school tweenies in a mall), that I could not help myself, although I managed to stop mid-way, to reach for the fruit blender in the kitchen so that I can crush all the events and experiences of the past 4 weeks in this blender for easier digestion. Nope, don't suggest I take Eno or Gaviscon, that was only a figure of speech. My digestion system is fine, thank you. Yes, despite the long line of open houses, weddings and other in-betweens involving food, it's been functioning spectacularly. Alarming.

Some major headlines worth mentioning:

1) I have officially quit my previous job as a market researcher. Not because I was bad at it (what, you want testimonials?), not because I despise the company and no no no not because of the pay (women are not Materialists in contrary to popular beliefs). But I thought it was the right time to upgrade. It's like you move on from playing yo-yo to skate-boarding. Same difference.

2) So obviously, I got a new job. I just started there for a few days, in fact. Advertising. Yea, I know you must be giving the 'blergh' look right now, and think, oh no not another slacker who's made to believe that coming up with ideas and doodling away in notepads are hardwork..it's shit easy. Try calculating numbers, or answering customer calls - that're real jobs idiots! Well, you know what, eff you. Hah! What are you, a school counselor?

3) I went on an unexpected trip to New Zealand. About time. Need to pacify some matters of the heart, take a break from working before I start the new job (the current one), and at the same time visit some people there. It was hells awesome, although I have to admit it burnt a small hole in my pocket. But generally it was somewhat a budget trip - I crashed at practically anyone's house, whoever's willing to provide me food and shelter. Haha. Met many interesting people, some Malaysians studying/working there who are extremely nice, and friendly Kiwis. Watched the Rugby World Cup 2011 live (woohoo finally!) between the Wallabies and USA, got my cap autographed, touched the snow for the first time, went to see Lord of the Rings stuff, did the Haka, managed toddlers and a baby, ate a lot, survived without the internet and so many things I could never finish listing down. Most importantly, I got some QT with my most favourite cousin before she gets engaged end of this year (can't believe we're at 'that phase' already. Seemed like yesterday we were naked and taking showers together). Truly treasured memories.

I am still having jetlags, or just basically have my sleeping patterns screwed up (not that I have a particular pattern before anyways haha), sleeping at 9/10pm and waking up 6am on the dot. Not like wake up then feel like I wanna go back to sleep type, but really wake up and feel fresh. I think it must be the habit I got from NZ. Sheeps woke me in the morning to witness the sunrise. I love sheeps. Don't shave them.

So somebody asked me: What's the difference between a sheep and a lamb?

Answer: One's hairy and one's hairless.

Right now is way past my bed time. It's 3am!! Gasp! Gasp! Oh, I haven't changed my watch to Malaysian time. Damn it. I hate false alarms. And alarms in general. But not sheep alarms. That wake me in the morning to see the sunrise. I love sheep. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, sleeeeeep...kroh kroh kroh