the perishers

Now I know love can turn to hate in the blink of an eye

Another lie another alibi

When your curtain fell heaven turned to hell

What was real I could never tell

I wish I would have known

Wish I would have seen

I wish I’d had some lines to read between

I just can’t understand why you cared to stay

You never truly loved me anyway

I just can’t understand..


okay, these are some of the lines from the song titled 'sway' by 'the Perishers'. the baits are just beautiful and so damn meaningful. last night, someone in a really sad mode gave it to me. he was a friend of mine, a really good friend, i have to say. and he spilled the beans, saying that the person he liked turned away. and bla bla bla. and finally, we both agreed that we were suckers in this love arena. it is seriously not our cup of tea. not dat we don't like the other chromosome, it's just that, this thing is too subjective and too complicated that we'd rather not talk about it. we tried though, to search for 'the one' or whatever shit that is, for years, since high school. but not much result. there are some significant developments, though. a little bit here and there. but basically, still the same old thing. huh, just wish cupid is here to help. mercy us O' Cupid.. we badly need your help. okay, don't get me wrong or anything. i'm not desperate, nor my friend is. but we just want some obvious path to follow through and some guidance in order to meet our destinies. that's all. just a little favour and a simple prayer. from the both of us.

me and my stupid thoughts

i frequently ask myself things that i myself can't explain - well, sometimes i do have the answers at hand.. anyway lately, i've been thinking a lot about what really makes a friendship. two person might happen to be the best of friends just after a few minutes of encounter with each other. but for some, they need a couple of years, maybe, to really trust each other. as for me, it depends. it depends very much on the other party, but normally, i can get along fine just in the nick of time. somehow, i've just come to realize that, i do not really have someone i can call a best friend. seriously, no one. i almost did, though, but something strucked me not to. guess, it was simply a slip of mind. when i thought i nearly grasp the bliss of having a good friend, bad things dropped on me like raindrops. one after another. i hate to say that i do have a lot of friends, but not a single person can make me feel or act like who i really am. no one really understands me when i did something or say something. people thought i was funny. yeah, i do love to joke around. but heck, i'm human. i came to the extent of portraying myself as a clown - one that shows happy expressions on its face, with all those thick make-ups, making other people smile and laugh...but inside and underneath, it's all just a phony. beneath the heavy make-up, is a person trying to shed his fears, sadness, problems, loneliness, whatever etc. i thought i was one of those phony clowns, but i've frequently told myself that, in fact, i am not. and most of the times, i bought it. but it soon hit me that, what are some of the factors that affect me to lead this sort of life? i have to say, i really don't know. at least not yet. and about that friendship thingy, sometimes, i thought to myself, what are the benefits of having a 'friend' if that 'friend' himself feels like he 'had to' be a friend to someone? why do people put on masks and fake as a 'friend' to his friend. what the heck? if you don't want to be a friend, don't fake it. so i guess now, to me, the term 'friend' does not apply to just anyone you know. it is applied to someone who really 'wants' to be your friend instead of just faking it. friends are a small group of people from the large group of people you know. but of course, people from the large group can all be your friends. okay this thing is turning into something really confusing *grins*. therefore in short, not all your friends can be your 'friend' and yeah, stop putting on masks. i believe in total honesty and total frankness in a friendship. a true and pure friendship is realy hard to get. and at the end of the day, i am my own true best friend.

a quiz i picked up somewhere...

Izza, your true color is Orange!

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.