On the Arrow.

At this age, I am nowhere close to where I should be; at least not by my own standards. I cried, the night of my 24^th birthday last December. Don’t start about owning a car and a house; I haven’t even gotten a Master’s Degree like I planned to.

I’m sure this is one of the many life lessons I’m supposed to learn from – that none of your plans will go accordingly. I hit so many road blocks, that I’m starting to think this process of maturity is hindering me from actually getting there.

But of course, nothing wrong with that if you’re an optimist, you know it’s going to turn out fine for you at the end of the day, no matter what.  Maybe you’re just tired of waiting for things to be alright – at the expense of time, especially when you’re not getting younger.  And I’m an impatient person.

If life is the ocean, I’d definitely be in the middle of it; just floating and drifting without a life jacket, not seeing a glimpse of where the end of it is, not the beach, not a boat, not even an island, looking up at the sky, and not even knowing the end of that either.  And most importantly, not knowing the day I would give up and just drown to death.

I hope at least five years from now, when I look back at this post, and think how ridiculous I was for worrying too much. How stupid to even think I would drown and not make it out alive.

But for now, I feel like I’m on the arrow; I feel a sense of the motion, I feel like something is bringing me somewhere, but I have no idea where the arrow would hit, and if it’s the target I was aiming for.