just another person at the bar

You're such a deep, deep man. Am i too selfish to ask for you back?

he loves santana

certain songs made you remember certain moments or vice versa. i just finished reading Where in the World, about a boy who has special musical talents and how his memory is dependant on music. he composed songs based on his feelings towards certain incidents. and different places reminded him of certain music.

im now reminded of the year after my schooling days. the year 2005. i just listened to Work by jimmy eat world and my mind instantly went back to those days. just absolute ordinariness. absolute mediocrity. absolutely nothing.

sigh. i like those innocent days.





p/s: missing my dad's corny jokes. (now listening to santana)

i gave two shillings to the two guys busking techno dance music

goodness. these past two nights, i've been watching movies like hell. as if a compensation for the past few months that i've missed out. good ol' chick flicks. hmm. last two nights, the moon was ridiculously huge. it was full and super bright and very low, as if it was falling on the horizons slowly. the clock on my mobile showed 7.35pm and the sky was purple and pink. so you could imagine how it looked like. and heck, it was because of the romantique ambience the moon has set out that made me and Eani walked the mile to Civic Vid to rent some dvds. on the way back, we saw a few people standing outside their houses, gazing at the moon. yeap, it was a hit with couples that night i bet.

so that was it about the moon. on the way back, we found a beautiful blue and white bicycle laying in front of somebody's house. it has no gear, no brakes and flat tyres, but it was such a beautiful bike that we took it home with us and i rode it for a while. it took all my might as the tyres were both flat. by the time we got home, my knees were wobbly like jelly on heat and i slept half way through Made of Honour. the only thing i like about the movie was the background songs when the were in Scotland. the songs made me fight my sticky eyelids, but then i surrendered and was in slumber in no time.

i am now in for a mini break as the toughest assignment in human history was done and submitted on tuesday. me and safa can now officially sigh a huge sigh of relief and relax for a bit. it was literature and it was the most torturous assignment EVER! after some surprisingly extreme remarks during the course of three days (saturday, sunday, monday) that were exchanged amongst us (i.e. "weh aku rasa cam nak bunuh diri skang ni. tu je cara yg kita ada", "ko tak rasa ke Gypsy tu gila.dia suka torture student kot", "ok cuba ko pikir, apa motif assignment ni? ni mass killing ar. cuma dia wat subtly xnak autho tau"), it is now safe to say that although assignments in for next week and the weeks after that, but once that particular monstrousity had been done, we are Free People now!

*doing hoola dance*

tatie the tagger

tatie tag aku lagi sekali, dia ni memang rajin bab2 begini. haha. ok tatie, ni aku buat.

My Top 10 Fave Food
1. roti planta
2. nasi goreng kampung (ada kangkung)
3. kombinasi nasi putih, telur goreng berminyak gila, kuah asam pedas
4. meltz kfc
5. dry salad (resipi izrul)
6. anything mexican, esp. burritos
7. lauk kampung
8. desserts! --> soufle, eclairs, everything chocolate and ice-cream
9. old school hot dog with lots of mustard
10. pasta or pizza with meted cheese flooding across the top

10 things i love doing
1. hanging out and just talk
2. collecting worthy stuff
3. sing in the shower (or just about anywhere)
4. travel
5. sit quietly and look around
6. annoy people
7. talking bimbo
8. getting to know people
9. being surprised
10. finding unique qualities

5 types of girls that i adore
1. respectful towards members of the same sex
2. girls who rock
3. girls just being girls
4. girls with disabilities but make it through (okaaay, im outta ideas here)
5. obviously, girls who are my friends

5 things i love doing when im feeling down
1. eat
2. read
3. write
4. talk
5. music

5 things i love doing when im happy
1. sing
2. talk
3. joke
4. laugh and smile and laugh and smile
5. make others happy too

10 ways to win my heart
1. dont have to be consciously wanting to win my heart (im not a piece of meat. hahahaha)
2. take me as who i already am
3. respect me and others in my life
4. treat me as you want to be treated
5. honest. no hidden motives
6. i guess thats all?

top 5 fave junk food
1. super ring
2. keropok durian
3. smith's thin cut: sour cream and onion flavour
4. doritos
5. nachos

5 things i wish could happen soon
1. the end of massacres. and bloodbaths
2. done assignments
3. summer time!
4. finding out how my child looks like (erk?)
5. tahap moksha

10 ridiculous things i wish to do before i die
1. get married (it can be ridiculous. hehe)
2. go hunting
3. learn to body surf (its ridiculously tough!)
4. join war (see whats the fuss is all about)
5. run for election and join parliament
6. have a chat with pak lah without him falling asleep
7. meet borat
8. join a riot or picket that uses fire
9. learn to dance
10. eat all i want without having to worry

top 10 recently most addicted songs
1. give a little love
2. shake it
3. just dance
4. angeles
5. twilight
6. between the bars
7. blitzkrieg bop
8. vampire
9. anything reggae
10. folk and country

10 things i want to tag
1. bert
2. azzam
3. liyana
4. hafriz
5. wawa
6. dierdre
7. zaza
8. zen
9. anyone reading this
10. yes, you!

we climb to fall

sometimes that hard slap on your face is just what you needed. falling down is never a bad thing, it teaches you reality - that the pedestal you're on is after all, made to be burnt down. a kick in the butt is exactly the kind of push you wish somebody would give you, just so you know how far, you can bounce forward. it is, in fact, a painful process. and its the best part of all, when you can finally give yourself a pat in the back, after all that.

here's a tip:

if you're falling and you know it, navigate.

make the black clouds disappear

astaghfirullah. life can be really short.

just these few days, i had some people who are close to me, or to someone i know die.

condolences to nurrizan harun's family.

condolences to fatin hamizah and her family.

and also, another important figure in my life, the one person who has helped me go through long journeys in buses and trains and LRTs and walks and jogs with his serenading music and soothing voice all through the four years i have been listening to him, Elliot Smith.

i can't believe i just found out that he had actually died in 2003 at the age of 34. he is still young and budding, how can he be taken away? i am yet to hear more of him, when it all came too soon. listening to him playing the soft, simple, bare-naked Angeles will never be the same anymore, definitely. i would have a vision of that wonderful, piercing (though not intermidating) eyes of his and it would then slowly fade away. i would listen to him strum the strings of his guitar and i would feel like sitting next to him and just listen.

his distinctive voice, how can i ever begin to describe that "whispery, spider-web thin" voice he wore so humble and full of love? as if listening to a baby cry, the sound so far, yet so loud. especially to know that he was dealing with depression and drinking problems and drugs, his songs now made perfect sense, like he was trying to reach out. but that scary thought of him having two stabs into the chest, (which was said might be self-inflicted) that certainly changed the way i listen to his songs.

he is my all-time favourite singer/songwriter. EVER. and my favourite tracks by this songbird are:

Angeles

(the best. now i know what the "trade" and "evil" is all about)

Between the Bars

("drink up"...)

Twilight

(this is very, very close to my heart. esp now that he's not around)

oh god. i feel like crying. man. this is really bad. like a kid who just found out that Santa isn't real. he always made me feel like crying listening to his songs. now, im really going to cry. especially on the long route from mawson lakes to the city on thursdays.

"sometimes there are songs you just wished you had written".

That is the only way to describe his songs. beautiful and honest. a masterpiece often over-looked.

But he's still my favourite guy.

He always will be.

May you rest in peace, Steven Paul 'Elliot' Smith. Always.

feast fit for the class

last wednesday was really cool. mak, safa and me decided to not just have the eid feast with our fellow muslim friends here, but also with the non-muslims. so we thought it would be great to 'bring the feast' over to our class and Andrew the course coordinator was more than happy. he even volunteered to bring the paper napkins. thanks man. lol. coincidentally, mak and safa had their solo presentations that day, so it was really like a malaysian day for the class. mak and safa were to present on arabic language and bahasa malaysia respectively. i was supposed to present on that day as well, on malaysian english (yeah, its worth talking about, huh?), and i prepared like mad, but we havent got enough time. so i ended up being pissed at myself for suggesting the feast, coz if not, i could have sighed with relief, coz i've got tonnes of presentations coming up!

anyway, we brought kuah kacang, nasi impit, flat fish crackers, serunding (courtesy of ms.sally), apple and mango juice (courtesy of safa) and marble cake (cam ala2 kek kukus mawar la. first attempt nih, tahniah2)

That's Andrew with Eric "Ermm..it's tasty, man. Like that Chinese take-away!"

Yeap, Sambo's trying to feed me ala 'ibu dan anak' and there's Wendy and Erin

those are just some pictures coz im so malas to upload here. go check out my fb later and i'll upload more there along with the picture of our multimedia display for constructing curriculum class, which was a huge success!

aiyo, what is all this la deyy?

i thought about life
and same things
come to mind
goals, hopes, dreams
i thought it was time
to think
of something else
so
i thought about death
and now im just
too scared
too worried
to think anymore
so
i thought i'd stop
and i did
- i think.



background music: some Hindi track from some dude's iPod or mp3 (wtv) behind me. dude, put on the earphones will ya?!? and hell, im trying to get some mood. (library computers are so communal. the princess in me cant handle it anymore. bloody friggin nasty)

just these few days..

things could get really interesting if you allow it to be. well i had interesting things happen to me these few days. most interestingly, i came across some witty and heart-warming phrases or quotes around town. hell knows if it's a sign (how so?). Some of them are:

1) Saw on someone's shirt in front of pub tab: "I used all my sick days, so I called in Dead" (i was lol)

2) On a notebook at the Newsagency: "Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else" (im like, wtf?)

3) A t-shirt on a mannequin in a DIY tshirt store: "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

4) Found on Zaza's blog, a picture with this: "Vandalism: Beautiful as a Rock in a Cop's face"


And my personal favourite (cause it's personal. haha), is...

5) A rocker dude who lived near my house told me: "Your parents made beautiful children" (awww..)


There you go ladies and gentlemen. these little things made my days. find what made yours :)

tak suka monumen berbentuk orang. menakutkan.

hari ini panas. macam hati ini. ceh. haha. tengah bengang nih. dah la hari tu ter'miss' gig the Grates atas sebab perasaan "malu" (ada la cerita disebaliknya), sekali tu ingat nak cover balik. tak apa lagi la sebab diorang ada next show in october. gedebak gedebuk, rupanya gig tersebut jatuh pada hari ini! ah tensi ni sebab tak dapat pergi. melepas untuk kali kedua! haaa. gigit jari je la nampaknya :'(

Something from the Heart

Dear everyone,

I'd like to fully utilise this opportunity to do what other Muslims would have done by now; to wish all of you a blessed Eid Mubarak this year. We all deserve a little celebration, don't we? :)

And along with that, I'd like to mention a tiny and special Hari Raya greeting to these lovely people:

My dearest family

Ayah, Ibu, Rul, Ilin and Lia.

I know you guys are having a great time in the car, all peaceful and quiet, on your way to Muar now. But i promise y'all, I'll be back with more tunes to 'serenade' in the car next year! Oh, you're so missing 'the noise' (as you put it, Rul. you're no quiet than me yourself)

My dearest BB friends

Asil, Aida, Azrin, Azura, Shazlin

One of you guys would prolly do an open house, as usual. hehe. Guess I'd have to miss it this year. Sorry. But make sure next year it's double the fun!

My dearest Semesta friends

Fa, Zaza, Killy, Hazel, Moon, Kiera, Fayma, Didie, Nieza, Ecah, Jijah,

Fatin, Zara, Dayah, Faiz rashdi, Azmir

You guys have seen me during my 'braces' times. haha. Thanks for all the kindness and help. Hope we can meet each other again some time and have a feast during hari raya. oh and, sape nak kawen next lepas sarah? haha

My dearest compatriots

Liyana, Tatie, Emy, Ella, Nad, Syud, Hafriz

Thank you so much peeps. You were there through thick and thin. This raya, I'd like to apologize for every single perkara jahat that i had done to you and with you. And I'd like to say that (in case you are apologizing to me) you are all forgiven, though you must know, that there isn't any thing that you should be apologizing to me for anyway. I hope that the friendship we have (or had) would remain in the good basket of our memories and will be for a long time. Thanks a bunch :)

My dearest friends

The people in my batch during Pre-Degree TESL

Yaya, Napisah, Hana, Zack, Hani, Wani, Atep, Hafiz, Anis,

Jiji, Helmey, Yam, Farah, Ayu

Have a blessed raya, you guys. Maaf zahir dan batin. I am glad I met you guys during our 'innocent' phase. Things were pretty much different then, but I love you guys nonetheless :) Missing every one of you.

My dearest housemates (Shah Alam)

Kecik, Pika, Kak-Aisyah, Kak Lina

Guess it takes a lot to remain peaceful under one roof, huh? but we made it! (though some dropped out. hehe) Sorry for all the noise and 'inappropriate' behaviors during my stay at that house. don't fret, i'll be back soon! :p

My dearest kanak2 Suria

(wtf? haha) Acad, Moja, Cheap, Azri

Thanks for all the amazing times. You guys were always there for me to bully :p Do accept my apologies for 'using' your inferiorities (hehe) for my entertainment. And special thanks to Cheap (lol) for always lending us your pink camera.

My dearest TESL friends

Every single one of you (sorry, too many to mention)

esp: Maktab KB and GAYA people, Juniors, Seniors

I can't possibly mention every single name, but you are all important and meaningful all the same to me. Thank you for all your kindness and friendships and I wish you all a happy Hari Raya :)

xxxxxx

To everyone else (and everyone on the above list), I can't thank you people enough for just being there in my life and giving me a sense to live. Do know that I meant every word of my apologies. All your good deeds will, without a doubt, be returned with more big and great things, if not equivalent. I will always pray for your well-beings and prosperity, and may we be in acquaintance for a very long time. I truly hope that this Eid Mubarak would be the best for you and your family and that it will be a momentous one. Have fun and take care everyone!

Love, and love always,

Me

:)

puitis (wannabe) dari adelaide

hari ini terasa amazingly normal.
macam bukan nak raya.
maybe sebab kat tempat orang,
dan mereka tak sambut Eid Mubarak.
semua orang jalan macam biasa.
macam hari ini hari isnin.
hari isnin
yang supposedly membosankan.
oi!
semua orang!
lagi dua hari
hari raya lah!

i'm gonna soak up the sun

it was fantastically sunny and beautiful today. i almost cant believe that i experienced a bodily, biological process, called perspiring. i didnt even remember how it felt to have your shirt moisten. man, sweat is cool! haha (to some extend, yes). there are heaps of people today. like a mass parade, walking towards the city.

they all love the sun you can tell. i do too, i just hate the uv ray and the cancer effect it can bring us. yeap, skin cancer is just a ray away.

i read recently somewhere in a health mag that skin cancer starts from your lips. coz apparently, that's where the skin is most thin and vulnerable and exposed. like, duh, you dont slop huge gunks of suntan lotion on your lips, right? so i guess basically now, all girls and gays and guys will have to go out into the sun with some balm on your smackers! the best is to wear lip balm or lipstick (guys, you've got very little option here. sorry!) and try your best to avoid lip gloss coz it absorbs the uv ray.

and skin cancer is like the 'thing' now, since global warming is slowly evolving into global hot-as-hell heating. free saunas everywhere for everyone! (trying to be optimistic. the glass is half full people)

yeah, i reckon, more money will be rolled into the pharmaceutical business, since a lot of people buying moisturising lotions coz of the dry weather, suntan lotions, balms, ointments etc. more Watsons and Guardians!

whatever it is, here in Adelaide (and Australia), more people are putting away their clothes. you can sort of hear them under their breaths when they walk next to you, "soak the sun. soak the sun. soak the sun.." like a mantra. seeing half naked bodies lying around wherever there is grass is a new thing for me man. (im not that innocent! -brit) can you say "culture shock siyot!!" haha. ah sod it. im used to my bro and sisters running around the house naked with things dangling and swaying all over.

just this morning, i have a girl come to me and ask if 'my tan' is original coz "it certainly looks real!!". gee honey, let me tell you something, being tanned is normal from where i come. and yeah, it's original! i was quite shocked by the stranger-coming-up-to-my-face-asking-unlikely-questions incident, that im not sure whether i should take it as a compliment or insult. like she's trying to say im coloured? holy crap. and for the record, im not tanned. im bloody burned! (serious shit, the sun is doing me no good, though i like it. remember, skin cancer)

anyways, things are turning up these days. hope more good things would come my way :)

i am muff, the discoverer

i found the best, most scenic and secluded place in Adelaide. its somewhere in Para Hills. take the 506 bus and get down at stop 52. its near the Para Hills Ovals. once you get down, be prepared to be blown away by the wonderful, surprisingly extravagant view just from where you are standing.

i didnt get to snap a picture as i was too absorbed in the tranquility and amazing breath-taking panorama upon my eyes (apart from the fact that i was rushing to catch another bus). i cant believe people took for granted of this place. vehicles drive pass it like nothing and people jog pass it, not to it. it's just sad.

from there you can see the whole view of the airport, houses, highways and roads. just go and see for yourselves. it's worthwhile.

orang-orang kejam

sila kasihani whales kerana mereka tidak berdosa. ada ke patut menyalahkan mereka untuk perkara yang tak sepatutnya.

ni idola azzam. dia yang bagi link nih. wahahaha:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=whales_suck

kekejaman berleluasa di arena marin! sila tangani segera!

*lari-lari sambil freak out*

kebosanan menggamit diriku

orang yang asyik cakap dia bosan serious shit tak menghargai hidup. rilek ar bro, wa tak cakap lu. the thing is, aku pun buat benda yang sama. ha ha. bosan ar weh. tadi pegi Woolies, beli sebotol air sprite. ntah kenapa. padahal bulan puasa, kalo tak puasa pun, aku tak minum sprite. baik beli ice lemon tea. nampak sangat hari ni hari pelik.

oh iya, kenapa ada orang suka bunuh whales. kenapa? kenapa? diorang stok comel tahap gaban masih ada orang yang sanggup melakukan mass murder terhadap mereka. aku tak nak la pinpoint sape-sape, nor menuduh sape-sape, tapi sebenarnya aku bengang dengan negara jepun! mereka terlalu keterlaluan dan rakus memamah daging whales yang tidak berdosa itu!!

*termenung sejenak*

haish, manusia. ini lah manusia. sentiasa mahukan yang lebih. (jap, tak faham point). ok tukar topik.

deyyyyy, aku rindu mahu makan itu roti planta sama itu teh tarik. dan juga mi goreng mamak. harapanku agar persatuan mamak malaysia akan meneruskan usaha mereka dalam bidang perniagaan ini terus prosperous kerana major consumer (aku la tu) sudah tidak lagi meng'consume' buat masa ini. jejak je kaki kat malaysia, bergegas pegi mamak dulu. haha. hish, mamak-culturized betul aku. (dan juga beribu-ribu orang lagi rakyat malaysia).

ok la, nak pegi kacau orang sebelah (farhana aka mak). nak tengok komen yang dia tengah tulis kat friendster nak bagi kat boyfriend dia. aku suka jadi annoying terutama sekali ketika aku tak diperlukan. hahaha. i rock la bebeh. chow.

BORING IS THE NEW BLACK.

HA HA HA

they are party poopers

last night was shaheeza's birthday. we all enjoyed some spaghetti, roasted chicken and cake. it was done at faris' house. everything was going well, until the mak guard came and pooped the party. you can straight away tell that she's a newbie, so a bit like poyo lah. she said we were too noisy. and she freaking came like 4 times! and sitting nearby the house in between the times she actually knocked the door telling us to keep quiet. i know it was a bitchy thing for shaheeza, poor her, and she had that sad look on her face last night. it was heart-wrenching. there were more than 10pax in the house (of course, its a party for goodness sake) and the mak guard was all about sending out half of the people in the house. it was like a mini holocaust. haha. nahh.

anyways, that incident intstantly reminded me of another similar tragic that happened while i was staying in kolej cemara. we were celebrating atep's birthday, and as usual, we went overboard; making ridiculous noise and all that jazz. throwing flour at each other was like pulling the trigger on the gun for the pak guard. hahaha. he was pissed like never and called us "monyet". im like, wtf. haha yeah, but that was a cool one. i missed all that - making the guards pissed. and last night was a remake of the history. hahaha

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHEEZA (if by any chance you're reading this. haha)

new movie

O sweet Lord. have u guys heard of the new movie? the one with takeshi kaneshiro? its Accuracy of Death aka Sweet Rain. takeshi is the grim ripper. huh. gotta love it man, gotta love it! im watching out for that! he's one hellov a jap! the best product from japan!

check it out: http://www.yowazzup.com/

do butterflies ever cry?

today's the last day of class before spring break. i have no plans whatsoever, and im pissed. just purely pissed over the fact that im short of two _____ tutorials!! hah. self-regretion is something i cant live without now, it's all splattered over me. it followed me around. man. ah. fuh-get it! i still have the email. yes, thank god for the internet, the cyber world, the email and everything else! thank you, O Lord!

made a new friend today, while waiting for the (damn) bus. she was crying, quite loudly and expressively. and i was the only one there, and i just could not ignore the weeping and all that and so i had to go and ask her what was wrong.

to cut the story short, she had guy problems, and as it turned out we go to the same uni. so we talked some more on the bus, and exchanged numbers. she was from macau. i like macau. not that i've been there. but i'd like to someday. all in all, she pulled herself together with my help (ehem, ehem), and i was equally happy to help.

by the end of today, as in before this moment now, the smile i got on my face turned upside down. and then it turned up again. and then down again. (wth? i need caffeine man) but whatever. all im trying to say is that today is a series of unwanted and unexpected things. geez. that image of that cathedral, is going to stick in my mind like a supernova effect man. it's permanent memory. im gonna miss it :(

gee wheez. geez bananaz. hoolla goronggo. gotta chow peeps. need to go get some chocolate before i go nuts with depression and self-guilt. hahahahahaha (yeah. u can laugh) oh btw, im fasting okayy. (who says im not? u bloody bastards!) so i cant really go get chocs. gotta wait for..erm..yeah an hour and a half. i can survive till then. wookayh, buhbye.

yeap, call me vulnerable

talk about vulnerability.
that's what im made of, now
i realized.
ugh. bugger.
that look; just that one look,
it got me hooked.