finals!!

never thot how da final exams wud be..and last thursday, i gotta experience da first time ever. and it was certainly not a good experience! i hv a feelin i'm gonna flunk! da exam was like as hard and as tough as a plywood!!! or maybe even worse... hoo god, juz hope for da best..still hv 6 papers comin'...

piece of trash?

im x really in da mood 4 writing, but heck, who cares? so, im sort of scrunching up my brain and raking for sum not-dat-good-but-can-do-lah ideas to write. ok well, finally my receptors or cells(wuteva u call it) juz registered 2 my brain. and i chose to write about...ok, well i forgot. damn, i have good brain, highly-sensitive receptors but unfortun8ly, short-term memory. wait,wait, there must b sumwhere at the corner of my mind..ok, now i can conclude dat i dun have da slightest idea of da thing i'm supposed 2 write about. i'm wasting time, electricity (contributes to waste of money), energy (caused from typing), bad health (eye strain from looking at da computer and back pain because of really bad posture), etc. i bet there're thousands of negative outcomes from this bad trait of mine, but i juz dun hv da energy to type it all down. hey hey hey!! look! i'm actually writing sumthng! even without a tint of idea, i can actually write a whole page of...crap. well, ok, i admit dat it's not exactly a good piece of writing, and if it were 2 b an essay for an exam, i'd most certainly get a -100% ! but at least i'm trying my best. a piece of trash to some can be a piece of a valuable thing to another person. in simple words, it might be a trash but i have a good feeling dat sumwhere out there, a small number of people wif gr8 artistic value is apreciating dis piece of writing.juz hv a good look at pablo picasso. he doesn't know a shit about wut he's drawing. everything he drew looked like a whole bunch of disaster. it practically drove me nuts! but he was honoured as one of da best painter. "hell wif dat!", i thot. but maybe to most ppl, his drawings are practically the best! thus, i wouldn't dare say dis piece-of-writing is a piece-of-shit...know wut i mean? well, pray to god dat i'll have a better idea of wut 2 write in days 2 come!

how time flies...

it's still a miracle to me, to see and experience how time flies. i didn't even realize it until the moment came. the moment where we came to the end. and in this case, i'm at the end of a semester. the worst part was that i don't really think i've made full use out of it. i mean, there's still a lot that i haven't achieve. my grades are still not that good. the bond between me and my other college mates is still in progress - meaning, we're still in the middle of fixing ourselves with each other, so that no one will feel like a misfit (or even a black sheep!). so, basically, i'm just upset that i've not gotten much out of this semester. i mean, i didn't do my part. the others were okay, just that i'm a bit late in adapting myself to the campus atmosphere. i've been to a boarding school for 5 yrs before, but a boarding school and a university is so much different with each other! like heaven and earth! hehe. well, i guess i'll have to do better next time..i mean, next sem. just wait and see!

life is a roller coaster

life is like a wheel..but hey, give me a break ok? i mean, honestly speaking..i kind of just felt being at the bottom of the big,heavy wheel of my life.i'm being splat on until my brain splash out from my head shell. i felt like i'm being tortured like hell by my very own..ugh, God-knows-who. oh my fucking god!!! ok, huh..this is not as hard as i had expected, but God-knows-who juz turn me down on the face! i feel like i want to stab myself in the stomach and bury myself as deep as the earth goes! i have nothing against my own friend. God-knows-who is like, my bestie form long time ago. we've been friends since a decade ago.. and i guess, she has (oops kantoi, heh let it be lah) her own wheel. she'll get to the point where she will fell like she's at the bottom of her big, heavy wheel of her own. and that time, (mind you god-knows-who) don't come running (or even crying!) to me, okay? that time, i will not be there for you. mark my word. roger and out.

just us

today is one of my best friend's birthday.she was a my friend when i was in high school. we would normally celebrate together with our 6 other friends. for a whole 5 years (since we were 13 yrs old till 17 yrs old), we've been celebrating together without our families..just us. and now, i can only send her sms to wish her birthday (we can't meet coz she studies way in kedah)..hmm.. i guess this is juz life!

haiyoo...

i'm actually in the computer literacy class..and the lecturer is talking and targeting me, obviously because i'm not paying attention to her..yeah, well.. i'm kind of afraid now that she's looking at me..ok then..bye..hihi..

a new me??

ugh..it's already friday. and i'm still the old, unchanged me. i've thought about starting a new life, as in, really start a new life. but then, after i slept on it a few nights, i thought that maybe it's a scary idea and maybe i'll just stay the way i am. actually, what triggers me into this idea is when i recently saw pictures of my old friends. they all looked..well, i would say changed. i recalled how nerdy and geeky they looked before. and now, they were totally different!! i felt really mixed up. i'm amazed, and also a bit hurt. i felt hurt that everything's evolving around me while i'm standing in the middle of nowhere and staring into space..what the heck? anyway, i tried to figure out what could be missing in me. i asked a few friends, and they say that i already have my own character. they said that i unconsciously changed. i've been more mature than i was before, but at the same time, i still have the traits i have before. somehow, i felt a little bit better after talking to them. only after having a talk with another friend did i realized that some people don't change. well,they just.. don't. like this friend of mine, when i asked her wether i have give myself a change, she said i already did. in fact, she said she was there all the time seeing me turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly. she felt happy for me, but at the same time, she also felt left behind. she said she didn't ever change physically or the way she thinks, the way she talks, practically every thing! at that moment, i felt a little twinge of pity. i pity her because she felt left behind. but i told her that she doesn't need any changes becaus eshe already is a fine young lady. she thanked me and reminded me that changes aren't usually the best. people change to find their true character. hmm, i really have to give this issue a deep thinking..so give me some time to come up with something. i'll let you know if i ever change in the future. till then..good nite.

newbie in campus!!

yey~!! finally i can now officially call myself a freshmen in the university. cool huh? hmm but being in a university made me think..i now have a really huge responsibility ( i knowlah that marriage is even tougher, but give me a break,ok?) well, i have to really struggle to get good grades, to get a piece of certificate namely, the degree (or masters or PhD)..with that piece of paper i will get a better job, a higher pay and hopefully a better future. of course nobody wants to end up being a garbage collector or even just a salesgirl for the rest of their lives..well, i'm included.although the typical sayings of my aunts is that just stop studying and marry someone rich. but what if you never get to marry that Mr.Rich?? so, after doing some thinking alone, and doing some observations, finally i found the bottomline. if you don't further your studies in higher education, it is likely to be tough for you to "meet" someone with a really good education. i'm not saying guys who don't go to universities are likely to have bad future (some university students also flunked in their studies, duh~) it's just that most of the good guys are actually in college @ university. therefore, another bottomline is that whatever happens, you have to further your studies.not only will you get a piece(or more) of certificates, you'll get to meet more people, make new friends,get good education,make your family and yourself proud, and...meet your Mr.Right.