i missed the lecture for this course last monday, so today i came to the workshop with nothing in my mind. yesterday, safa freaked me out by telling me that it's whole bunch of scary things and topics are regarding the Australian education system, which, as you can guess, i have no single idea about. and i freaked out, of course. especially when safa immediately dropped the subject and took something else. i cant sleep last night thinking that i would fail this paper with or without trying my best. my feet trembled, not cos of the weather, but because i was so afraid about what might happen to me and my whole academic life.
so i went into the class. some people were already there. some old, some young, some look like they dont give a damn. i look like a freaking nerd, who got lost on the way to this room. so we had some ice breaking thing going on. met a few people - Liam, Nathan, Emma (or was it Emmy?), Aska etc. then the whole thing just melt into me - i felt a bit relieved that there are quite a number of people who dont really know about the curriculum here in asutralia, and mind you, they are Aussies. haha! great. just what i need. a confidence booster. talk about ignoramus :p
so we went on discussing stuff, some in the class are arrogant (i hate you), and refuse to enlighten me on things i couldnt comprehend. but alas, a knight on a white horse helped me out. hah! seriously people, i tell you, he looks exactly like Keanu Reeves. hows that for a classmate! *drools* geez. anyway, we had to come up with a picture/logo/symbol that represents the curriculum system (what the heck?) in a group of four. and given the fact that i LOVE coming up with things, i unconsciously let loose and relaxed. so there. no more scary thoughts and hopes to die.
my group came up with a snakes and ladders concept with snakes representing the challenges and bombs/booby traps/dragons as the stake holders which could, if overpowered can be damaging to the system. we had a bunch of shitty stuff on that picture too, that i just have to draw (i.e. clock, a tarzan, a tree, loopholes etc) all on the same piece of paper. so it kind of looked like a bit of a complex, unidentifiable, random curriculum we've got. we presented it amidst barrels of laughter and snorts.
but least unexpectedly, the workshop tutors (there's two of them), liked it. he thinks that we saw it in a new light that most people cant see. geez. what a twist! i guess it's because that i explained the whole idea of the snakes and ladders is that the system could sometimes be in the hands of fate and chance - the roll of the dice. we can never know whats gonna come out of the proposal we just implemented and shits like that, y'know? so yeah, he liked it and decided to put in in his office. haha.
but that's just for starters. you have no idea what else is in store in our assessments plan. i've got a major essay, and a multimedia display, which i have to present in the presence of 9 external scholars/lecturers from the whole uni. but lets forget it for now.
tell me, what's going on with all of you people over there? hows class? update me.
roger and out.
p/s: i wonder how the political states are in Malaysia. i've almost forgotten all about it. gosh, i missed local politics.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
my address
yeah, im back at the computer barn. cos basically, this is the only chance i have to connect to the cyber world. i have no internet back at home. not yet at least. tomorrow, im gonna get them internet providers. just ended class.
anyway, to all you peeps who want to contact me, or send me cards and cookies, please do so and send it here:
18, Ozone Parade, Paradise, 5075, SA, Australia.
i know you're probably thinking, "geez, Ozone parade? what a name!" yeah well. i think it's a cool name. like the black parade. as if the ozone layer is parading along. and the suburb, is called Paradise. it sure is one heck of a paradise! i'll talk about my house in another post aite. i'll upload some pictures of it too. i gotta go catch Asar. it's almost ending. gahahaha. procrastinator me. very naughty girl. and the prayer room here at the uni is not bad too. sufficient facilities. ok, really gotta go.
bye peeps! and in case you need to know, i miss you all!
:)
anyway, to all you peeps who want to contact me, or send me cards and cookies, please do so and send it here:
18, Ozone Parade, Paradise, 5075, SA, Australia.
i know you're probably thinking, "geez, Ozone parade? what a name!" yeah well. i think it's a cool name. like the black parade. as if the ozone layer is parading along. and the suburb, is called Paradise. it sure is one heck of a paradise! i'll talk about my house in another post aite. i'll upload some pictures of it too. i gotta go catch Asar. it's almost ending. gahahaha. procrastinator me. very naughty girl. and the prayer room here at the uni is not bad too. sufficient facilities. ok, really gotta go.
bye peeps! and in case you need to know, i miss you all!
:)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
my third day of class
the third day of class has commenced today, and i have a feeling that im going to like it, despite the fact that the assignments are friggin tough. but what is one to do right? i'll just go with the flow. expectations are flying high, and competitions are everywhere with anyone, all the time. to excel, i have to be very, very extraordinary. i cant be my usual self. sigh. no more last minute assignments. now, i have to rehearse my presentations, not like before, spontaneity is the name of the game.
the assignments, involve hardcore researches, and need hardworking people with ridiculously creative minds. whether i will be able to complete the assignments by the due is one thing, whether or not i can get high distinctions for all of it is another.
to prove the extremeness of it all, there are 2 to 3 lecturers in one lecture. not like back home, one lecturer per lecture/tutorials. all of the lecturers give speeches that are so freaking inspirational you just have to be awake. to tell you the truth, i cried in my first lecture. they were so bloody, unbelievably good. i love lectures!! (for now)
you know, im actually at the computer barn here at the cafe (where there are public computers), and there are actually people waiting to use this PC. i think i might have just abused the IT usage here. more than my quota. gahaha. so i guess, i'll just write more later. i cant stand the guy standing behind me watching every letter i type.
gotta bounce, peeps. catcha later!
the assignments, involve hardcore researches, and need hardworking people with ridiculously creative minds. whether i will be able to complete the assignments by the due is one thing, whether or not i can get high distinctions for all of it is another.
to prove the extremeness of it all, there are 2 to 3 lecturers in one lecture. not like back home, one lecturer per lecture/tutorials. all of the lecturers give speeches that are so freaking inspirational you just have to be awake. to tell you the truth, i cried in my first lecture. they were so bloody, unbelievably good. i love lectures!! (for now)
you know, im actually at the computer barn here at the cafe (where there are public computers), and there are actually people waiting to use this PC. i think i might have just abused the IT usage here. more than my quota. gahaha. so i guess, i'll just write more later. i cant stand the guy standing behind me watching every letter i type.
gotta bounce, peeps. catcha later!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My day today
On the way back from Victor Harbour today, I came to deep thinking. I wondered what He has got written on for me. What’s to become of me in the future, and what the freaking hell is going to happen.
I thought about why I was sent here, there must be a reason (or reasons). Of course, I can’t very well see it now, but the curiosity is killing me. ‘The unknown’ has been quite a primal interest of mine but sometimes, I do feel like it’s a torture.
However way it is going to lead me in this one and only life of mine, I wish that it would be the best for me. For regret is the worst thing that can happen to me, and it is the last thing I need.
On the way back from Victor Harbour also, I thought about the friends I have met in the course of my stay here since the last week or so. They all come from different backgrounds, varied cultures and have similar or different ‘baggage’ from the lives they live.
When I talked to them, I got to know a little bit of their pasts, and the things that brought them here. They come for different reasons, and all of them very interesting and some unusual.
It amazes me how people simply amaze me, every time.
The trip, which is part of the orientation process, was really tiring. I was friggin’ exhausted by the end of it all. When we all got to the coach bus, everyone was lying back on their seats and dozing off into effortless slumber.
I wasn’t, though. Or rather, I couldn’t. Like I said, I went into heavy-loaded mental journey. And it was one that I couldn’t get my mind off.
I’ll have to go get some Baghlava now and clear my mind with happy, unserious thoughts. Toodles.
I thought about why I was sent here, there must be a reason (or reasons). Of course, I can’t very well see it now, but the curiosity is killing me. ‘The unknown’ has been quite a primal interest of mine but sometimes, I do feel like it’s a torture.
However way it is going to lead me in this one and only life of mine, I wish that it would be the best for me. For regret is the worst thing that can happen to me, and it is the last thing I need.
On the way back from Victor Harbour also, I thought about the friends I have met in the course of my stay here since the last week or so. They all come from different backgrounds, varied cultures and have similar or different ‘baggage’ from the lives they live.
When I talked to them, I got to know a little bit of their pasts, and the things that brought them here. They come for different reasons, and all of them very interesting and some unusual.
It amazes me how people simply amaze me, every time.
The trip, which is part of the orientation process, was really tiring. I was friggin’ exhausted by the end of it all. When we all got to the coach bus, everyone was lying back on their seats and dozing off into effortless slumber.
I wasn’t, though. Or rather, I couldn’t. Like I said, I went into heavy-loaded mental journey. And it was one that I couldn’t get my mind off.
I’ll have to go get some Baghlava now and clear my mind with happy, unserious thoughts. Toodles.
Monday, July 14, 2008
a hell of a shower
if i take showers here in Ade, it is bound to be more than 15minutes. once im in the shower, i can never allow myself to get out of it. thank God for water heaters, they made my bathing experience very pleasant. i need anything and everything warm these days - hot chocs, hot teas, hot scones, hot guys..
geez, snap out of it izza.
okayh peeps, going to take a warm shower. i'll make it a loooong one.
p/s: Mak takes an even looooooooooooong shower everytime. she has kurap.
geez, snap out of it izza.
okayh peeps, going to take a warm shower. i'll make it a loooong one.
p/s: Mak takes an even looooooooooooong shower everytime. she has kurap.
Abrar
Abrar is the name of the house that i stayed for the first two days. the house is originally resided by four seniors but it soon became the place for new students to get help and shelter before they settle down on their own. hence the name Abrar as it means charity.
there are a few major houses like Abrar here in Adelaide. the people who reside the houses are close to each other. they call them selves sisters, while the guys are called the brothers. they are like family. i have nothing to worry about as they took care of everything. they cooked, they provided sleeping bags and quilts, they made me feel like home. people keep coming to the house. those from Campbeltown, Windsor Gardens, Newton, they all came to have dinner together. i had no idea it was going to be like this. we prayed Jama'ah all five solats. they are very close-knitted.
on the second day, 90% of them were going on a one-week road trip to a few parts of Australia. so Mak, Yani and me had to transfer to Mile End and stayed with Shidah and Fiza. so now, that's where i am staying for the time being. it is approx 10mins to the city centre. a very huge one-storey house. very colonnial. i like it here, but i will have to find my own place to stay soon. maybe somewhere with a garden and patio.
there are a few major houses like Abrar here in Adelaide. the people who reside the houses are close to each other. they call them selves sisters, while the guys are called the brothers. they are like family. i have nothing to worry about as they took care of everything. they cooked, they provided sleeping bags and quilts, they made me feel like home. people keep coming to the house. those from Campbeltown, Windsor Gardens, Newton, they all came to have dinner together. i had no idea it was going to be like this. we prayed Jama'ah all five solats. they are very close-knitted.
on the second day, 90% of them were going on a one-week road trip to a few parts of Australia. so Mak, Yani and me had to transfer to Mile End and stayed with Shidah and Fiza. so now, that's where i am staying for the time being. it is approx 10mins to the city centre. a very huge one-storey house. very colonnial. i like it here, but i will have to find my own place to stay soon. maybe somewhere with a garden and patio.
Adelaide Arrival
upon my arrival in Adelaide, Australia at approximately 5.30am in Saturday 12th July 2008, i was calm and relaxed like nothing happened. i didnt get any sleep in the flight and i didnt eat much. i was almost too nonchalant about everything.
when i get out of the arrival hall, i saw a lot of families, friends and whoever waiting for somebody for them to pick up. and then it hit me - nobody's going to pick me up. being a so-called "seasoned" traveller, i didnt panicked. well, not really, maybe a tad. i went thinking "geez, nothing to worry about. it's only Adelaide, the equivalent to Perlis maybe. or Perak. i'll get around safe. so i texted Mak, and ask her if she could pick me up. but she didnt reply so i thought maybe she's asleep coz it's still Subuh. then i decided if i call her, maybe she'd wake up.
so i went to find a phone booth. and heck, i aint got no coins. so i went back to the money exchange counter (with all my horridly huge and uglaaayyy suitcases) and asked for small change. the lady gave me some in return for my $10 that i have. so i tried to call. i was so darned stupid. i was confused, the number was confusing and i confused the phone that it went hay-wired. in the end, i just managed to vandalize a foreign country's public amenity and i still have nobody to fetch me. it's unbelievable how my klutziness followed me all the way from malaysia to australia.
by then, i already got frantic. my hair was all over the place, i didnt care about my belongings anymore, the only thing i held on to was my passport and my sometimes-useless creativity. my brain didnt stop working. my eyes scanned around, looking for handsome looking males that i could ask for help. then something caught my eyes - tudung. i saw somebody wearing tudung. i automatically assumed that person must be from Malaysia or Indonesia (coz of the type of tudung). yey, a friend! saudara seIslam! i dashed towards her, who is busy texting someone on her phone. i greeted her warmly and straight away told her about my predicament. she spoke Malay. her name is Saidatul.
to summarize, her friend (Anne) came to pick her up, i borrowed her friend's phone and finally got to talk to Mak, and she will come to pick me up with a senior. turns out that the senior was Saidatul and Anne's friend. it is a really small world after all, and i was saved.
when i stepped out of the Adelaide Airport, it was shit cold. colder than Cold Storage (that's where i practiced cold-endurance). i didnt wear any coats, just the tshirt and blazer i wore from KLIA. but heck, i was Superman and my teeth didnt really grittle. so i loaded my stuff in the boot, and we drove off to Abrar.
*to be continued
when i get out of the arrival hall, i saw a lot of families, friends and whoever waiting for somebody for them to pick up. and then it hit me - nobody's going to pick me up. being a so-called "seasoned" traveller, i didnt panicked. well, not really, maybe a tad. i went thinking "geez, nothing to worry about. it's only Adelaide, the equivalent to Perlis maybe. or Perak. i'll get around safe. so i texted Mak, and ask her if she could pick me up. but she didnt reply so i thought maybe she's asleep coz it's still Subuh. then i decided if i call her, maybe she'd wake up.
so i went to find a phone booth. and heck, i aint got no coins. so i went back to the money exchange counter (with all my horridly huge and uglaaayyy suitcases) and asked for small change. the lady gave me some in return for my $10 that i have. so i tried to call. i was so darned stupid. i was confused, the number was confusing and i confused the phone that it went hay-wired. in the end, i just managed to vandalize a foreign country's public amenity and i still have nobody to fetch me. it's unbelievable how my klutziness followed me all the way from malaysia to australia.
by then, i already got frantic. my hair was all over the place, i didnt care about my belongings anymore, the only thing i held on to was my passport and my sometimes-useless creativity. my brain didnt stop working. my eyes scanned around, looking for handsome looking males that i could ask for help. then something caught my eyes - tudung. i saw somebody wearing tudung. i automatically assumed that person must be from Malaysia or Indonesia (coz of the type of tudung). yey, a friend! saudara seIslam! i dashed towards her, who is busy texting someone on her phone. i greeted her warmly and straight away told her about my predicament. she spoke Malay. her name is Saidatul.
to summarize, her friend (Anne) came to pick her up, i borrowed her friend's phone and finally got to talk to Mak, and she will come to pick me up with a senior. turns out that the senior was Saidatul and Anne's friend. it is a really small world after all, and i was saved.
when i stepped out of the Adelaide Airport, it was shit cold. colder than Cold Storage (that's where i practiced cold-endurance). i didnt wear any coats, just the tshirt and blazer i wore from KLIA. but heck, i was Superman and my teeth didnt really grittle. so i loaded my stuff in the boot, and we drove off to Abrar.
*to be continued
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
bring it on
geez bananas. holy shit. major crap. this is serious. adelaide is in two days - which summarily means really really really around the corner. and, lo and behold, i havent done packing.
packing is a JOB. i should get paid for packing, cause it takes so much time and energy and perseverance. but if i were to choose, i'd rather pack than unpack, that's double the task.
i can't wait to embark on this journey. it might not be that far from home, but a new place promises a whole new experience - and 'the unknown' is something i truly anticipate. i'll be going off alone to adelaide, as some of my friends have gone or will be going later. i dont mind the 'going off alone' part. used to it.
some of my friends promised to send me off at the airport, my family will be there too of course. i dont know what to expect. will it be deeply saddening? tearful maybe? merry and joyful? i reckon it will be a mixture of feelings and sensations. different people may feel differently about parting and goodbyes. but one thing's for sure, saying adieu is never easy. the impact will hit you sooner or later - even temporarily.
my progress for the packing part is quite pathetic. what i've done so far is dump everything i saw in the closet that can be used in that huge green suitcase. i'll fold it all tomorrow. some stuff is still in the stink laundry basket, havent washed it. quite a right timing for the murphy law to take action unto this humble creature (me), our washing machine is shit. it almost fall to pieces yesterday while spinning. it actually, and out-of-this-wordly jumped forward and the top cover sort of shut on top of my index finger. now i cant write or eat with my right hand injured, and i cant do laundry.
when the clock strikes midnight tonight, i'll be a modern day cinderella, doing laundry manually. geez. i hate alkali from the washing soaps. i prefer detergent, though made of the same substance. and i'll be an OKU cinderella. i'll have to hold the brush in a weird way since i cant really get my (injured) fingers wet. oh maybe i'll just use gloves.
im writing this and sighing sighs after sighs of laziness and disappointment at the situation im in - all simultaneously. thankfully, i can still type. but everything i do, my index will be sticking out oddly with the yellow cartoon plaster.
my granny is here in KL to send me off. she is really confused about where im really going. she kept telling me to take care of myself when im in GERMANY. im like, err, no. im actually going to Australia. and she'll go "ohh, Ostrolia. Ostrolia tu kat dalam German ke?". the ugly thing is, she told everyone about me going to GERMANY. so some of my extended families and her neighbours in johor who get the news from her thinks im going to germany and they (quite "efficiently") automatically presumed i'll be doing a degree in engineering there. geez people, stop believing the first thing you hear. i'll have to spend my last moments in Malaysia clearing my name and telling people the real story. nobody gets granny's obsession with germany.
well i guess that's that for now. the next post will be after my arrival in Adelaide, Australia, i think..cause im running out of time to blog after this, i havent done packing, remember?
so till the next one, dear readers!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
on cloud 9
Being on a plane again after a few years was quite an experience. it resembles the sensation i had when i first got the wheels of a manual car after almost one and a half year not driving a stick. i feel jittery initially, then i start to feel religious (i.e. praying so i'll be home safe) and my adrenaline thrusts through every calm vessel i have. give five seconds grace, then i feel relaxed and almost out-of-this-world (i.e. hey, i can survive this!). the rest will be history.
i almost forgot what it felt like to be amongst the white cottony clouds. ahh subliminal. it was just like heaven - the closest you can get to it, at least. the higher it gets, the smaller and thinner the clouds become. they will almost lose their shapes and forms - all merging into one huge white cloth surrounding you. at its peak, the horizon formed an endless line - a borderless border.
i saw cruise ships breaking the stillness of the glass-like sea, all looking like miniature doll parts that gradully grew smaller till they finally lost from sight. as much as everything is in the system, anything can happen up here, and there's no way out. there are exits, but they lead to death. lol. getting to the destination safely everytime is already a miracle in itself.
i'll be going on another jet plane series in a few days time. bet i will be feeling a little different and maybe a tad smuggish. lol. i'll update you on how i whiz through it, alright?
*written after touchdown
i almost forgot what it felt like to be amongst the white cottony clouds. ahh subliminal. it was just like heaven - the closest you can get to it, at least. the higher it gets, the smaller and thinner the clouds become. they will almost lose their shapes and forms - all merging into one huge white cloth surrounding you. at its peak, the horizon formed an endless line - a borderless border.
i saw cruise ships breaking the stillness of the glass-like sea, all looking like miniature doll parts that gradully grew smaller till they finally lost from sight. as much as everything is in the system, anything can happen up here, and there's no way out. there are exits, but they lead to death. lol. getting to the destination safely everytime is already a miracle in itself.
i'll be going on another jet plane series in a few days time. bet i will be feeling a little different and maybe a tad smuggish. lol. i'll update you on how i whiz through it, alright?
*written after touchdown
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Her two cents
"Beneath the stain of time, what have I become?"
-Khairiah Tadin-
I can't help but notice, this string of words stampered on the profile page of her Friendster. geez bananas, what have i become? hmm, pretty much nothing. i mean, sure i've been myself all this while, but something to be proud of? not really. we are supposed to be relatively wiser with time - the older you get, the wiser you become. experience teach you everything you know.
and taking that into account (experience), i personally think im quite wise. haha. really, how can we even measure experience? we cant, and for that matter, i think im accountable to say im wise, enough to rough it all out, that is.
so to answer the question by Khai's shoutout, i think that beneath the stain of time, i have become.. wiser.
you can reach Khai here and ask her for something to ponder upon :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
red basket
there's a red basket next to me. full of laundry. here in this house, just me and the red basket. geez what a life. mom's out for aerobics, dad's in pahang and sisters' at school. i bet they're all having fun wherever they are.
i just finished half a dozen of j.co doughnuts, all by myself. they were good and unbelievably doughy and soft that it gets me to think there's something fishy beyond the addictive donuts.
anyways, things are going fine with me this few weeks. learned a lot, met a lot, ate a lot, and enjoyed a lot. im just overflowing with happiness and joy right now - for no apparent reason. who needs reason to be happy right? you can too if you try.
thank God i have you to talk to, or else, i'd die out of boredom at a very young age. and that would be ironic, since young people should have loads of things to do i.e. get laid. yes, it doesn't matter if you have nothing beneficial to do, just as long as you have something to do.
blogging helped me survived. without this simplistic hobby, i would be dead. physically i would be up and about and alive, but inside, im just dead. hahaha.
okay that was a joke. not a good one, i know. im just too lazy to do anything, even crack a joke (which is my second nature supposedly). but that doesn't mean that i've lost my sense of humour. i get a good dose of humour from mraz's blog. he's just born to be an entertainer. god bless him.
ok chow people.
i just finished half a dozen of j.co doughnuts, all by myself. they were good and unbelievably doughy and soft that it gets me to think there's something fishy beyond the addictive donuts.
anyways, things are going fine with me this few weeks. learned a lot, met a lot, ate a lot, and enjoyed a lot. im just overflowing with happiness and joy right now - for no apparent reason. who needs reason to be happy right? you can too if you try.
thank God i have you to talk to, or else, i'd die out of boredom at a very young age. and that would be ironic, since young people should have loads of things to do i.e. get laid. yes, it doesn't matter if you have nothing beneficial to do, just as long as you have something to do.
blogging helped me survived. without this simplistic hobby, i would be dead. physically i would be up and about and alive, but inside, im just dead. hahaha.
okay that was a joke. not a good one, i know. im just too lazy to do anything, even crack a joke (which is my second nature supposedly). but that doesn't mean that i've lost my sense of humour. i get a good dose of humour from mraz's blog. he's just born to be an entertainer. god bless him.
ok chow people.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
a birthday wish
on this beautiful, sunshiny day, i would like to forward a birthday wish especially for a friend who is as beautiful as the weather today (corny alert).
and she is...(oh, it's a she!), none other than Nurliyana Hanim!
she's turning 21 today, and it could be a big step for her, especially because she's still single despite the huge amount of love she spent on everyone. *giggles* (she's a Cancer, that's why i guess)
so to her the birthday girl, i wish you all the best in life, and that you will finally find the Guy you have been searching for for years! hey, it's not too late you know!
and to the birthday girl's mother, Mrs. Marina, i'd like to say, congratulations and thank you for bringing this wonderful individual to the world!
anyways, i have nothing more to say, but:
and li, i didn't forget okay? i just feel like wishing a birthday wish is cliched, thats all :p (but i did, huh?) hahaha
*clap clap clap*
p/s: those of you who want to wish her in conjunction with today, please feel free. this is her blog: liyana's blog , and this is her friendster page: liyana's friendster
and she is...(oh, it's a she!), none other than Nurliyana Hanim!
she's turning 21 today, and it could be a big step for her, especially because she's still single despite the huge amount of love she spent on everyone. *giggles* (she's a Cancer, that's why i guess)
so to her the birthday girl, i wish you all the best in life, and that you will finally find the Guy you have been searching for for years! hey, it's not too late you know!
and to the birthday girl's mother, Mrs. Marina, i'd like to say, congratulations and thank you for bringing this wonderful individual to the world!
anyways, i have nothing more to say, but:
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!
and li, i didn't forget okay? i just feel like wishing a birthday wish is cliched, thats all :p (but i did, huh?) hahaha
*clap clap clap*
p/s: those of you who want to wish her in conjunction with today, please feel free. this is her blog: liyana's blog , and this is her friendster page: liyana's friendster
Send her a message or birthday wish and make her day!
wedding bells
gedonggg! gedongg! <--sound effect of the bells not the gong-->
woohoo! everybody seems to be getting married these days. these few weekends have been filled with attending weddings and gaining weight (dont ask the amount of rendang and mutton consumption), but hey, who's complaining? im very much into weddings (not marriage though, not yet!) since i first heard of the word and grasped the concept of it.
geez. aren't brides the prettiest people? rosy cheeks (ignore the overly-done make-ups), kissable shimmy shimmy lip-glossy lips, and the aroma of flowery fragrant. oh and the grooms, fooh! they send goosebumps to me, even in their simply crisp and white baju melayu added to their charismatic confidence to go through, what would be men's greatest fear - commitment. what's more, they have the X-factor that we unmarried people dont have. yeah, that "knowing" smile they wear on their inner-shined faces, like they have a secret that others dont share. the secret, the recipe of their love that brought them to vow being with each other for the rest of time a.k.a. Sehidup Semati (not literally of course).
i always indulge myself in deep thought in between bites of Acar Buah or during the Menepung Tawar ceremony, thinking about the brides. about how they trust the man they're marrying with their life. marriage is a gianormous step, based on trust as the core fundamental. trust, huh? can i do that? well, time will tell. sure when the wrong person who seemed right to me comes along, i'll learn to do so. meantime, let's not trust anything but the purest and truest feeling we have been granted, and that is, my friends..love.
with love, comes sympathy, empathy, care, tolerance and trust. thus, learn to love and everything will fall in line. yes, yes, love everything and anything! love yourself, your family, your neighbours..even the smallest and grossiest things - like the pimple on your forehead (they're there for a reason!), the stray cats (i try to, though am not a big fan of cats), your friends' friends, your things. you can also love the things that you dont possess. like those kids in poverty-stricken third world nations, they dont have proper education in the system, but they love it, they love to learn. and people who love to help the poor, even if they dont have enough money for themselves.
*breaking into casual laugh*
when you have so much going on, so much problems to deal with, you tend to forget that you have God's greatest give, His love. i can talk so much about this, but why would i? everyone has felt this, everyone knows what it is. so let it be one unspoken and common thing that everyone in this world, regardless of who they are and where they are, will have sowed deep within their hearts. that's one equal thing we will all have.
in the meantime, i will keep attending wedding ceremonies, i will try my best to keep my open mind open (haha) and open my heart to just feel the love. yeah baby! love is the most beautiful truth, so believe in it! and yeah, i have five wedding invitations this weekend alone, of friends and relatives, and i promised to attend all of them. yippee! wait a sec, how the heck am i going to do that? seems like i need a plan...okayh, time to freak out!!!!!
toodles!
*dancing away in ballet-like manner with a smile plastered on face)
woohoo! everybody seems to be getting married these days. these few weekends have been filled with attending weddings and gaining weight (dont ask the amount of rendang and mutton consumption), but hey, who's complaining? im very much into weddings (not marriage though, not yet!) since i first heard of the word and grasped the concept of it.
geez. aren't brides the prettiest people? rosy cheeks (ignore the overly-done make-ups), kissable shimmy shimmy lip-glossy lips, and the aroma of flowery fragrant. oh and the grooms, fooh! they send goosebumps to me, even in their simply crisp and white baju melayu added to their charismatic confidence to go through, what would be men's greatest fear - commitment. what's more, they have the X-factor that we unmarried people dont have. yeah, that "knowing" smile they wear on their inner-shined faces, like they have a secret that others dont share. the secret, the recipe of their love that brought them to vow being with each other for the rest of time a.k.a. Sehidup Semati (not literally of course).
i always indulge myself in deep thought in between bites of Acar Buah or during the Menepung Tawar ceremony, thinking about the brides. about how they trust the man they're marrying with their life. marriage is a gianormous step, based on trust as the core fundamental. trust, huh? can i do that? well, time will tell. sure when the wrong person who seemed right to me comes along, i'll learn to do so. meantime, let's not trust anything but the purest and truest feeling we have been granted, and that is, my friends..love.
with love, comes sympathy, empathy, care, tolerance and trust. thus, learn to love and everything will fall in line. yes, yes, love everything and anything! love yourself, your family, your neighbours..even the smallest and grossiest things - like the pimple on your forehead (they're there for a reason!), the stray cats (i try to, though am not a big fan of cats), your friends' friends, your things. you can also love the things that you dont possess. like those kids in poverty-stricken third world nations, they dont have proper education in the system, but they love it, they love to learn. and people who love to help the poor, even if they dont have enough money for themselves.
*breaking into casual laugh*
when you have so much going on, so much problems to deal with, you tend to forget that you have God's greatest give, His love. i can talk so much about this, but why would i? everyone has felt this, everyone knows what it is. so let it be one unspoken and common thing that everyone in this world, regardless of who they are and where they are, will have sowed deep within their hearts. that's one equal thing we will all have.
in the meantime, i will keep attending wedding ceremonies, i will try my best to keep my open mind open (haha) and open my heart to just feel the love. yeah baby! love is the most beautiful truth, so believe in it! and yeah, i have five wedding invitations this weekend alone, of friends and relatives, and i promised to attend all of them. yippee! wait a sec, how the heck am i going to do that? seems like i need a plan...okayh, time to freak out!!!!!
toodles!
*dancing away in ballet-like manner with a smile plastered on face)
Friday, June 20, 2008
i wish i was a tree..not
this is a song that always remind me to be grateful for who i am and what i've got. a simple reminder when i sing it.
this song is titled Tree Hugger sung by antsy pants. love them pants. lol.
viva la vida!!
this song is titled Tree Hugger sung by antsy pants. love them pants. lol.
viva la vida!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
no ONE but No. 1
it is fashionable for so-called thinking people to try to lose their ego. well, they should think a bit harder. presumably, we were given egos for a reason. great people have great egos; maybe that's what makes them great.
so let us put it to good use rather than try to deny it.
Life's all about 'me' anyway.
lolwe.
(laughing out loud with ego)
so let us put it to good use rather than try to deny it.
Life's all about 'me' anyway.
lolwe.
(laughing out loud with ego)
Liyana tagged me.
1) What is the most important thing in your life?
self expectations
2) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?
sour tape candy (red and green)
3) Where do you wish to get married?
masjid or in the coziness of my home.
4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?
geez. i dont know, fortune-tellers told me my palms showed that im kind of a hopper. i have too many choices and im very curious to try all of them out. so i might not be permanent to anyone. but they might also be bullshitting me. but hopefully i can be permanent to someone. because i know I AM A LOYAL LOVER!
5) Are you in love?
always.
6) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?
road house grill.
7) Name the latest book that you bought?
a passport. does that count? lol. truthfully, a black notebook.
8) What is your full name?
and the relevance of this question?
9) Do you prefer your mother or father?
this is a nasty question. well, my dad. and, my mom.
10) Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.
Robert 'Bob' Nesta Marley. i believe he's a very intelligent and talented man. pure genius.
11) Christina or Britney?
which christina are you talking about? christina millian? christina yee wong? christina gopal? well, i'll have to go with Brits. she's a good girl, really. poor thing.
12) Do you do your own laundry?
yes. and the family's.
13) The most exciting place you want to go?
jamaica and northern britain (ireland, scotland)
14) Hugs or kisses?
hugs. and only certain kinds of kisses.
15) Point out 5 things about the person who tagged you.
Liyana
- talker
- reader
- care-taker
- cooker/chef
- laze-around-er
- pious. grahahahha. kiddin! (but she can be, who knows!)
16)8 things I am passionate about:
- things that affect my life
- the well-being of my people, the malays (ceh, MY people konon)
- keamanan dan kesejahteraan tanah airku
- history, cultures and traditions
- unique individuals and things
- learning new matters
- people
- love and peace
17)8 things I say too often:
- like
- thewperr! (super)
- amayzin' (amazing)
- oh, crapp!!
- geez
- kelam kelibut gila
- macam
- takdela, sebab lagipun...
8)8 books I've read recently:
wait, eight? mostly aren't books
- the economist (okayh..)
- newsweek (sounds a little better)
- why the earth is for us (an eye-opener)
- the LIFE compilation
- mid-life crisis and you (not on purpose)
- Gone. James' gone! (fatally funny)
- 13 Mei 1969
- whatever you think, think the opposite (very good)
19)8 songs I could listen to over and over again
- keep breathing (ingrid michaelson)
- canon in d (london symphonic orchestra)
- jangan tinggal daku (P.Ramlee)
- somewhere over the rainbow & wonderful world (remix by aselin debison)
- i will always love you (whitney houston)
- rainbow connection (jason mraz)
- grease soundtrack
- most AFI songs
20)8 things I learned last year:
- being at the top is dangerous
- the expectations you put on yourself is most of the times parallel to the potential that you really have
- never say never
- karma really works
- love is the closest thing to magic
- when an old man dies, it's like a huge library is burnt down
- a person can never understand, but they can try
- i would actually like to be a pirate
and, im tagging whoever reads this. im not a good tagger actually.
Friday, June 06, 2008
i saw a dead squirrel on the road twice
time sure flies. i never thought the moment of truth would come this quick. geez, the next thing i know, the results are out?! somebody told me it would be out like next week or the week after next. crap. now i can't sit still. im online, i have the uitm homepage on the other tab, but i cant bring myself to open it.
maybe if i dont open it yet, the results would be there and multiply itself like the money in your bank account. grahaha. okay, i'm going to check it out next month. or maybe i should just open it now. but i CAN'T! remember, the second PTE test where i fashionably left two essay questions? man. how great. ugh. why la thalasemia has to hit me that time. nice timing.
okay, okay. mind made. open next week - as (supposedly) scheculed. meantime, get my fingers crossed.
maybe if i dont open it yet, the results would be there and multiply itself like the money in your bank account. grahaha. okay, i'm going to check it out next month. or maybe i should just open it now. but i CAN'T! remember, the second PTE test where i fashionably left two essay questions? man. how great. ugh. why la thalasemia has to hit me that time. nice timing.
okay, okay. mind made. open next week - as (supposedly) scheculed. meantime, get my fingers crossed.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
the jawa people
there's a portion of jawa in me. my grandfather was one, but my grandmother wasnt, she was a penangite. anyway, i just came back from a wedding of one of my relatives - the brother of my grandpa's son. so that makes me..what ah? i dont know, like cousins lah basically.
it was very simple. no bersanding, no menepung tawar, no kompang, no tanjak, no keris, no silat. the groom is a very shy person. but the food, it was fantastico! they served like 7 dishes (more than the usual) and two types of rice. very generous people they are, the jawa.
what caught my attention was, the hospitality and the cooperation between the family members. gee wheez, they were very2 helpful. the siblings all handled the wedding. they serve, they wash dishes, they welcomed guests, and they smiled all the way. the groom's brothers before this when they got married, the weddings were all handled by their own family too. it was all the same; the same hospitality, the same merry and cheerful people, nothing changed - except that this wedding is without their mother. she passed away more than a year ago. but the rest is pretty much the same.
i even felt bad for not helping. i felt like a VIP just sitting there. even the neighbours (who came as guests) helped refill jugs and clean tables. so i helped. and that changed everything - as in, my feeling lah. i felt more like a part of the family instead of just as a guest now. laughters where thrown out in the air, voices of java-speaking aunts and Waks (or uncles). i loved it. i love the whole thing.
i wish i could stay longer to talk to the other neneks and atoks. i wish i could stay longer to teach the kids how to play hopscotch. but as they say, time flies. the last time i saw Ninot was like 2years ago. she's now grown really pretty and fairer (the magic of sunblock, she said). she's 22years old. the next wedding the family is ever going to throw would be for her, since she's the last unmarried person (apart from Abang Sham, the one born before Ninot, but he refused to get married).
i remembered Abang Sham forcing Ninot and me to shower together at the toilet outside. their bathroom is outside so we were very scared to take a bath at night when we were little girls. so we would shower, screaming and laughing, all while Abang Sham waited for us outside. He's now already 30-something.
Wak, my grandpa's brother, he got parkinson and alzheimer. so it wasn't easy trying to talk to him. i had to remind him who i was every (approx) 18 seconds. it was hard. but imagine his children, how they could take care of him. sad. but he's still with his style. fedora hat, and cigars which he rolled himself. coolness. Wak, Wak. i would miss him. he's 80-something and looking really old and he smokes. i hope i could meet him again in future. i forgot to take pictures of him.
man, am i proud to have them as my family. ORANG JAWA ROCK!!!
it was very simple. no bersanding, no menepung tawar, no kompang, no tanjak, no keris, no silat. the groom is a very shy person. but the food, it was fantastico! they served like 7 dishes (more than the usual) and two types of rice. very generous people they are, the jawa.
what caught my attention was, the hospitality and the cooperation between the family members. gee wheez, they were very2 helpful. the siblings all handled the wedding. they serve, they wash dishes, they welcomed guests, and they smiled all the way. the groom's brothers before this when they got married, the weddings were all handled by their own family too. it was all the same; the same hospitality, the same merry and cheerful people, nothing changed - except that this wedding is without their mother. she passed away more than a year ago. but the rest is pretty much the same.
i even felt bad for not helping. i felt like a VIP just sitting there. even the neighbours (who came as guests) helped refill jugs and clean tables. so i helped. and that changed everything - as in, my feeling lah. i felt more like a part of the family instead of just as a guest now. laughters where thrown out in the air, voices of java-speaking aunts and Waks (or uncles). i loved it. i love the whole thing.
i wish i could stay longer to talk to the other neneks and atoks. i wish i could stay longer to teach the kids how to play hopscotch. but as they say, time flies. the last time i saw Ninot was like 2years ago. she's now grown really pretty and fairer (the magic of sunblock, she said). she's 22years old. the next wedding the family is ever going to throw would be for her, since she's the last unmarried person (apart from Abang Sham, the one born before Ninot, but he refused to get married).
i remembered Abang Sham forcing Ninot and me to shower together at the toilet outside. their bathroom is outside so we were very scared to take a bath at night when we were little girls. so we would shower, screaming and laughing, all while Abang Sham waited for us outside. He's now already 30-something.
Wak, my grandpa's brother, he got parkinson and alzheimer. so it wasn't easy trying to talk to him. i had to remind him who i was every (approx) 18 seconds. it was hard. but imagine his children, how they could take care of him. sad. but he's still with his style. fedora hat, and cigars which he rolled himself. coolness. Wak, Wak. i would miss him. he's 80-something and looking really old and he smokes. i hope i could meet him again in future. i forgot to take pictures of him.
man, am i proud to have them as my family. ORANG JAWA ROCK!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
carpe diem
when i look at people around me, i can say that they all have loved someone, lost someone, and feared something.
each and every person that stepped into the train (cause i was in a train. lol), they all have what we call luggage. some small, some huge. some light and some heavy. depends.
my eyes were drawn unto a pair of wrinkled hands. the owner, was asleep - a long day at work perhaps. she had with her an umbrella, a big green basket with things in it, and a stack of old newspapers. she sat across me and she wore an old pair of 'rubber' shoes.
i studied her face. she looked really, really tired. not because of work for the day or because she didnt get enough sleep from last night, but because of her luggage - her yesteryears. she looked like she just had enough, like all she wanted to do is nothing.
some part of me wondered, when that particular moment - the moment when i just get tired - happened to me in future, how am i going to embrace it?
i kept on looking at her, i know if people saw me they would think im a stalker, but there's just a magnetic force that made me keep looking. maybe that's how i would look like when im old, i thought. and another young person would do the same to me like what im doing now. maybe.
all that, with the track 100years by five for fighting playing in my earpiece, i just feel lucky that im realizing this now than later when its already too late. for now, i should just seize the day. the magic of carpe diem. lol.
each and every person that stepped into the train (cause i was in a train. lol), they all have what we call luggage. some small, some huge. some light and some heavy. depends.
my eyes were drawn unto a pair of wrinkled hands. the owner, was asleep - a long day at work perhaps. she had with her an umbrella, a big green basket with things in it, and a stack of old newspapers. she sat across me and she wore an old pair of 'rubber' shoes.
i studied her face. she looked really, really tired. not because of work for the day or because she didnt get enough sleep from last night, but because of her luggage - her yesteryears. she looked like she just had enough, like all she wanted to do is nothing.
some part of me wondered, when that particular moment - the moment when i just get tired - happened to me in future, how am i going to embrace it?
i kept on looking at her, i know if people saw me they would think im a stalker, but there's just a magnetic force that made me keep looking. maybe that's how i would look like when im old, i thought. and another young person would do the same to me like what im doing now. maybe.
all that, with the track 100years by five for fighting playing in my earpiece, i just feel lucky that im realizing this now than later when its already too late. for now, i should just seize the day. the magic of carpe diem. lol.
what if cats grow horns?
ok amaran. ini blog post yang membazir masa. oleh kerana komen yang diberi oleh salah seorang peminat blog ini, namanya azzam (hahaha tepukan untuk violet gray!), yang telah mengatakan bahawa postpost saya semenjak dua menjak ini terlalu serious, jadi saya cuba untuk mempertenangkan keadaan di blog ini dengan mengalih ke aliran alternatif (bukan aliran pembangkang. eh dah masuk politik lak) iaitu untuk menulis benda tak serious.
jadi. apakah yang harus ditulis di sini. oh. mungkin beberapa hari yg dah aku lalui ni. sangat best jugak. aku berkawan dengan seorang penjaja di tepi putra lrt setiawangsa. beliau sangat baik hati. ketika hari panas, air tin yg dijual oleh beliau menjadi santapan jasmani. jika anda berada di situ, silalah ke gerai kecil beliau. beliau yang berbangsa india juga merupakan seorang OKU. tapi semua tu tak jadi penghalang. dia cerita kisah hidup dia yang sedih. tapi dia selalu senyum. tak penah nampak sedih. aku pelik. dia sangat berhabuk bila bertutur dalam English dan topik perbualan kitorang berkomposisikan global warming, lapisan ozone, homosexuals, politik dan sebagainya. beliau intelek, jadi mengapa hanya menjual air? dia kata orang macam dia (OKU) sangat susah nak dapat kerja. ish3. stereotaip masyarakat.
tanpa disedari, aku dah serious balik. gahahaha. ah tak best lah. roger and out
jadi. apakah yang harus ditulis di sini. oh. mungkin beberapa hari yg dah aku lalui ni. sangat best jugak. aku berkawan dengan seorang penjaja di tepi putra lrt setiawangsa. beliau sangat baik hati. ketika hari panas, air tin yg dijual oleh beliau menjadi santapan jasmani. jika anda berada di situ, silalah ke gerai kecil beliau. beliau yang berbangsa india juga merupakan seorang OKU. tapi semua tu tak jadi penghalang. dia cerita kisah hidup dia yang sedih. tapi dia selalu senyum. tak penah nampak sedih. aku pelik. dia sangat berhabuk bila bertutur dalam English dan topik perbualan kitorang berkomposisikan global warming, lapisan ozone, homosexuals, politik dan sebagainya. beliau intelek, jadi mengapa hanya menjual air? dia kata orang macam dia (OKU) sangat susah nak dapat kerja. ish3. stereotaip masyarakat.
tanpa disedari, aku dah serious balik. gahahaha. ah tak best lah. roger and out
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