changed for good

Who cares if he is gay? I'm totally in love with Sam.

"I've heard it said,

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you... "

"It well may be..

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend... "

"Who can say, if I have changed for the better?

But because I knew you,

I have been changed, for good.."

I like Sam's expressions in this cover. Very accurate to the feel of the song. My tearduct nearly burst with overwhelming emotions. And the words, well, what can I say, I might take it too deep, but this is how I feel.

 

Goosebumps? ditto.

 

 

Song: For Good

Original by: Wicked

Cover by: Sam Tsui, Kurt Hugo and Nick Pitera

quote-to-go

"Only as high as I reach can I grow,

only as far as I seek can I go,

only as deep as I look can I see,

only as much as I dream can I be"

- Karen Ravn

would you rather be a guy?

If guys cheat and/or sleep around,
He will be celebrated and looked up to by his friends, they show him respect.

People will say to him: "You're the man!!" or "He's hot!!" (somehow it's coz he scored a lot).

The more girls he is/was with, the higher his status is, especially in other men's eyes.

If girls cheat and/or sleep around,
She will be bitched about, and often times, lose respect.

People will say to her: "She's a slut" or  "What a whore" and also be called "Loose".

The more guys she is/was with, the more she is seen as the above (refer previous statement).

Not complaining, just stating the obvious.

sebenarnya tak perlu pun post ni tapi nak juga

Aku ni kalau nak bercerita bab cinta, humph, tak perlu lah. Aku lah orang paling loser, paling tak ada harapan dan paling atrocious dalam bidang nih. Kalau ada lah jual buku 'Love for Dummies' dah tentu aku terus beli buat rujukan. atau kalau ada Bachelors Degree ke Diploma ke, sijil ke, aku confirm enrol jadi student.

Tapi bila difikir balik, kalau aku belajar sampai mati pun pasal cinta nih, tak mungkin aku akan pass bahagian amali. (eh eh, bukan amali part making love, tapi amali untuk love and be loved and everything in between lah, macam relationship ke, haram jadah semua tu lah). Part teori tu aku rasa mampu juga lah nak score, walaupun RAM aku kecil je. (aku tak biasa menghafal macam rote learning tuh, aku lebih kepada mengingat fakta secara abstrak - yang ternyata masih kurang berkesan)

Entah lah, kadang-kadang tu aku ada juga rasa macam penat, macam malas nya aku nak get involved dengan benda-benda ni semua. Tapi aku pasti, kau semua tahu yang cinta ni macam dadah! Sangat best bila 'high', tapi bila low tuh rasa macam loji kumbahan. Ia mampu membuatkan orang gian, dan bila sampai part 'high' tuh, orang dah tak peduli tentang perasaan bila low. Dan aku yang kerdil ini pun tidak terkecuali.

"Apa yang orang kecoh-kecoh sangat pasal benda nih?" si Aku bertanya pada dirinya sendiri. Entah lah, jangan tanya aku, aku tak layak jawab. Apa kata kita tanya bibik jiran aku yang selalu sahaja aku nampak berjalan ke kedai membeli topup Maxis 5ringgit lepas tu bergayut kat belakang rumah dia atas buai. (Mentang-mentang lah majikan tak ada kat rumah, ko nak smexayy smexayy slutty slutty kat telefon. Dia tak tahu aku nampak)

Walaupun aku pasti kariernya sebagai bibik bukanlah karier idaman, dan selalu sahaja diherdik dan disuruh membuat perkara-perkara radikal dan jijiks oleh si majikan, dan selalu dipandang rendah oleh masyarakat sekeliling, namun at the end of those rough days, dia ada sepasang bahu untuk menangis atas (atau dalam bahasa penjajahnya, 'a shoulder to cry on'). Dia ada seseorang untuk mengadu domba, dan merintih kasih (eceh). Dia ada orang yang akan mendengar segala celoteh jawa pekatnya, dan memberinya pep talk untuk terus menyapu daun-daun kering yang akan gugur endlessly di laman rumah majikannya itu. Dia ada pembakar semangat.

Kalau nak buat perhitungan:

Pekerjaan: Aku -1, Bibiklicious - 0 [kalau ikut skala yang ditetapkan oleh masyarakat sejagat]
Money: Aku - 1, Bibiklicious - 0 [sebab aku tau duit dia selalu habis kat topup]
Friends: Aku - 1, Bibiklicious - 0 [hey come on, kawan-kawan aku semua cool kot. Kitorang lepak NZ, diorang lepak padang je]
Family: Aku - 1, Bibiklicious - 1 [draw lah, sebab aku dengar anak-anak dia kat seberang muka cam Rangga]
Love life: Aku - 0, Bibiklicious - 100 [aku rasa bila dia break up pun, dia terus dapat pengganti the next day]

The verdict: Aku - 4, Bibiklicious - 101

PERGH. Ini satu penghinaan nih! Bibiklicious lead aku by 99.9%! Aku tak tau mana nak letak muka nih! Yelah, mana tak nya, muka aku nih semua orang cam. Aku kan ikon zon Ampang Utara.

So moral of the story is, bibik tersebut menang kerana dia ada support system dalaman bahagian hati. Dan aku pula tak menentu; kadang-kadang tu ada, kadang-kadang tak ada. Ikut pasang surut air laut lah. And sekarang ni support system aku adalah spine aku lah, apa lagi. Tak ada tulang belakang, tak jalan beb. Haha ok tak kelakar. Bye.

ibu saya

suatu hari yang tenang. cuaca sedikit sunny dan angin sepoi-sepoi.

aku tiba di rumah setelah pulang dari kerja.

"Hi bu."

"Hi.." kata ibu sambil mata memandang ke bawah, tekun dengan drawing nya. ibu suka melukis, terutama sekali lukisan portraits dan porcelain.

aku berjalan ke peti sejuk dan menuang juice ke dalam gelas.

"Ada food tak ibu?" perut ku berkeroncong, merintih supaya aku feed dia.

"Ada bawah tudung saji tuh.." sambil mengangkat kepalanya.

"My God! gelapnya anak ibu nih! what happened to you??!" ibu mengeluarkan statement separa menjerit.

"Huh?"

"You are so dark! Kulit nampak kusam! Pakai sunscreen SPF berapa nih??"

"Err..30?"

"No, no. From now on, you have to start taking care of yourself. Biarlah muda-muda ni nampak gebu-gebu, bagi kulit tuh licin sikit..Ibu dulu bukan main jaga. Vitamin C tak pernah tinggal."

"I have no money and time for all that.."

"Alah, kalau nak ada je cara. Anak orang semua cantik-cantik.."

Haih, memang lah ada caranya.

Tapi kalau sudah tengah-tengah hari buta suruh aku sebat rumput depan rumah, lepas tu everytime nak masak lunch suruh pergi ke kedai jalan kaki (harga minyak dah mahal, and also to lessen carbon emission, so no driving) beli taugeh lah, cili boh lah..the probability of me getting tanned and sun-burned is so high!

most often than not, aku perlu berjalan kaki dari rumah ke station LRT terdekat untuk ke pejabat. Nah, masakan tidak gelap!

Dan FYI ibu, freckles yang ada di wajah ku ini merupakan hasil DNA ibu dan ayah, jadi jangan salahkan saya!

Apa-apa pun, aku sudah mulai mengambil langkah berjaga-jaga kerana takutkan kanser kulit akibat pancaran UV matahari yang semakin mengganas.

Kini, setiap kali aku menjemur baju dan mengangkat laundry setelah kering, aku pasti akan memakai topi cowboy milik ayah ku yang boleh melindungi wajahku sebanyak 90% dari cahaya matahari. jiran-jiran dan bibik-bibik yang riuh berceloteh di luar sentiasa memandang pelik sambil berbisik melihat kelibatku bertopi cowboy.

agaknya mereka berkata sesama mereka:

"Kok gilak ini, pakei nya topi koboi di rumah aja! pas lagian, cuma ngangkat jemuran! ish, bikin pusing nih!"

dan jiran hot berkereta Myvi SE Oren mungkin berkata dalam hati:

"Wow holy macarel! Now that's what I call fashion-forward meets functionality!"

Ya, saya sering diperkata orang. Mereka menggelar saya: 'IT GIRL' of Setiawangsa Hills.

i know i will

you know
when i think about it,
nothing can actually make me forget you.
nothing
not even someone else

but somehow,
i know i will.
and eventually,
i will.

..but i don't want to.

a thing that always happen to me

one morning, i woke up and i have a song stuck in my head. and the song is still playing repeatedly and i have no idea what song it is. or who's the singer, or where i heard it. why does this always happen to me? ugh.

and on this particular day, it is this song. all i can remember is :

"na na na na stumble and fall,
dad dada da crawl.."

what song is that?! somebody help.

mencintai tidak semestinya memiliki

when you see me

hello

have you ever seen me?

do you know how i look like?

well, let me tell you something about what you might discover when you see me.

the moment you set your eyes upon my face, you will see a rather nice looking (not hot nor elegant) girl, with a pleasant personality (you wouldn't hate me right away, it may take at least an exchange of two sentences for that to happen). just your average, standard female 20-something.

you may listen to me talk, in circles, or in repetition and about the absolute random things you can ever imagine existed under the sun. and you begin to wonder for how long more you have to nod and act interested at the absurd things i will tell you. and you will decide to spare me and give me ten more minutes to make sense.

and after that ten minutes, you will start to like me. you will begin to notice the endearing smile i have, the twinkle in my eyes when i start talking about something i like or the sudden loud laugh i let out that may be shocking to surprised passers-by.

and you become interested in me. your interest grow relatively to the time you spend with me, or in the moments we spend interacting. you will ask me questions about me, about my life, about my likes and peeves. and you let me ask you questions about you. and since i am naturally a curious and inquisitive person, i will ask you about many things, and you will slowly open up to me. 

you will begin to crawl out of the shadows of the past, your true self will crack itself out of the shell. the walls you build against the society will crumble, and ice will melt. you will finally let me in to your life.

you will then make every effort to ensure that you are in mine too, but most often than not, you will find yourself in disappointment. but there are rare moments when you find yourself allowed into this life that you find unexpectedly mysterious. and you will try to understand it. and you will conclude that it is like math - where there is a formula to it, but the answers may vary. 

and i must warn you, when you finally managed to understand more than you really should, you will find that i am a complex and frustrating person. you will begin to feel a certain level of regret, and the feel to turn back, but you can't. because you have fallen for me, and you want to finish this adventure you start for yourself. and also because of your ego to retain your first impression of me that i am simple.

the sparks are still there, but, it is now not sparks of attraction. it is the sparks of fire. there will be a need to exaggerate minor misdemeanor, to pinpoint every error, and each will wait for the other to make a mistake. 

and soon enough, i will make that mistake you have been waiting for. and you will begin your series of attacking, laying down every single mistake that i had done that you 'closed one eye' to before, executing  every strategies of breaking me and bringing me down that you've envisioned for so long.

and i will become defensive, i will build a wall, and i will throw bricks at you to protect myself. when you have no good comeback, you will use whatever you know about me. you will bring back everything from any parts of the timeline. you will use who i am, who i was, what i had done, what i am not, who i was with, what i had said, what secrets i told you, what things i should and shouldn't do, who and what you wish i am, what you hope i would become for you and everything else. even as little a thing as how you think how disheveled and messy my hair is.  

and somehow, somewhere in your mind, you will finally conclude that i am useless, and a hypocrite.

and here is the time when i assure you that yes, i am in fact a hypocrite. and i will give you examples after examples. like how i do not practice what i preach. i talk about saving the environment, but i leave empty cans under the seat and i only print on one side of the paper. i turn mad when people are racist, when in fact, i am ultra to my own race. i promote peace, cried when people from other parts of the world suffer from war, when my own country is fighting its own battle. i vowed to help the homeless and the needy, but i wasn't even there for my family when they needed me. i want to fight poverty in third-world countries, but my meals are always unfinished and leftovers are aplenty that goes in the bin.

i encourage friends and everyone to be in love, talking about how it's the best thing in the world, when in reality i know nothing about it, maybe have never really felt it, and secretly at times don't believe in the truth of it. all my knowledge of it is solely based on stories i've heard from other people, the movies i watched, the songs i heard, and my assumptions and visions of it. 

yes, i am a hypocrite but i am not a liar. i meant what i said, and i meant what i told you about what i felt.  i did not lie about my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts, my dreams of you. the smiles and tears for you were honest; it came from the most bottom part of my heart that i didn't even know existed. 

and so most often than not, things will become awkward. sometimes, things will just be left hanging. but all the time, all the freaking time, people will leave. and you might leave too. but if you stay, well, you will be an exception. you will be the only one who choose to do so. and i will be grateful my whole life. 

yes, as a conclusion, that is what you will get when you look at me - an honest hypocrite, who talks a lot but might not necessarily know what she's talking about, who you might fall in and out of love with.

and so, if you decide to leave in the end, i suggest you save both of our time; skip my face and lay your eyes on somebody else. you might have a different ending with her. 

but if you somehow feel that you are one to stay, look me in the eyes, put on a helmet, and buckle up your safety belt. you've booked yourself the ride of a lifetime with me.

or else goodbye,

till we meet again.

buto

i missed it last year. but this year, it's back. i thought of participating, it could be a good cathartic outlet for me, instead of just watching - given the size of shit im in currently, i can use some emotional expression. but either ways, you can bet i'll be there. if you're interested:

to watch, i suggest on the 8th. see ya.

question

if a person was born deaf, what language would he or she think in?

three words that became hard to say

"one foot in and one foot back,

but it don't pay, to live like that,

so i cut the ties and i jumped the tracks,

for never to return.."

"..what you were then, i am today.."

song: i and love and you

by: the avett brothers

love the video, and how they count the three words altogether at the end.
accurately vague lyrics, just how i like it.

some people are just not meant for love

 

tilik tangan

aku membelek tapak tangan ku
- banyak garis-garis halus,
yang menyimpan segala macam
rahsia

menanti untuk dibongkar
tatkala ia berlaku

tidak ku tahu
apa maknanya garis ini
- garis yang merentas
persegi tapak tanganku

nampak berkecamuk
bercabang
terputus-putus

seperti aku dan kamu

a quote that slaps

This quote smacks me in the face with truth this morning.

"Expecting life to treat you well because you're a good person

is like expecting an angry bull not to charge cause you're a vegetarian.."

How so true. I might just as well be bad, and expect life to treat me horribly, so that if it suddenly is nice to me, I would be caught in a huge surprise. ha ha.

i'll kiss you between the bars

"..The people you've been before

That you don't want around anymore

That push and shove and won't bend to your will

I'll keep them still.."

song: between the bars

by: elliot smith (r.i.p.)


p/s: alternatively, you might want to check out the song in better quality and with the lyrics HERE. a very good song. classic choice for one of those rainy days (or nights).

big me

"..but it's you, i fell into.."

band: foo fighters
song: big me

i am sucked backwards in a vacuum

so hey

it's been a really long time, and i miss you

 i want to talk to you and confide in you

i want to tell you how my days have been,

and i want you to tell me how to get through

i just want to have a conversation, 

and we don't even have to talk

so yeah

oh his dancing!

my default morning tunes for the past week have been a tribute to the drums.



jonathan pierce is groove king! i is loving him lah!

band: the drums
song: best friend
other songs to listen to: let's go surfing (cool video), forever and ever amen

treasure!

perkara

A: apa benda yang kau paling nak sekarang?

B: masa silam.

pudu jail

it was a sad goodbye.

taken from klue

the night it happened, the tearing down of the walls of pudu jail, i felt as if a part of my KLness was torn away. somehow. previously, i felt the same way when my former school, Bukit Bintang Girls' School was demolished to make way for Pavilion (the mall now).

and now, on the 21st of June 2010, another significant symbol of KL (a sort of heritage, on the criminal side: botak chin and mona fandey were both executed there. two of malaysia's most notorious criminals) had been erased physically from the sight of KLites and tourists alike.

i was there, when it happened. suddenly felt a strong emotional attachment, though i've never been jailed there or anyone i know, for that matter. but that is not the point. the point is that i've been so used to seeing it there my whole life, and now it wont be there anymore.

the crowd was crazy. there were so many people.

an ex-inmate was telling some of us about his service at the jail. it was pretty heart-wrenching for him, although the only memories he had there were bad ones. but he mentioned that he made some of the best mates there, and they are now all clean and changed. they are still the best of friends now.

a graffiti by inmates at the jail. taken from here.

a friend of mine posted this up on his facebook page. i seriously felt like crying but was at the office, so had to hold my composure. haha. but here it is. take a look:



alternatively check it out on youtube.


bye pudu jail. im going to miss you.

sublime

i want to be in this picture.


Prague Photos -- National Geographic's Ultimate City Guides

the one about PTPTN

i was looking through the PTPTN website to search for paying back information (yeah, now i have to work my a*s off to pay for the loan) (which is totally fine hehe), and this is what i got:

taken from here. click for larger view.

are you kidding me? you're giving me that? i am never wasting my time tapping away on my calculator or spending my time musing over the "formula", twitching numbers here and there. i got better things to do, like pick my nose or something. geez.

1. you make me pay interest for the loan

2. and you make me count using your ever so convenient formula?

somebody in there seriously has an issue..trying to show off and looking like a math genius or something. i just need to know how much i have to pay in numbers i can understand. thanks.

water

water is indirectly associated to melancholy, somehow, i observed. 

rain

tears (hence, mucus)

slow running streams

flood

dripper

i really dont have any point. so bye.

reality

beautiful pictures of a sad situation.

click here.

p/s: at the office now. should not be blogging. bye.

to the stranger im in love with

hello

what's your name?

have i seen you before?

have you ever heard me sing?

i don't make the best lullaby

but every song i write

is my journey to you

you're out there

breathing the same air

i can feel you near

should i wait?

should i find?

i don't wanna be late

i don't wanna be

i don't wanna be late

i don't wanna be

tell me how many songs do i need to write to get to you?

tell me how many songs do i need to write to get to you?

are you here in the crowd?

would you stand out and show yourself up?

'cause i've been talking to that someone in the future

if i could i would just squeeze into the drawer

and spare us this series of nonsense

are you here in the crowd?

would you stand out and show yourself up?

let's save our bloody precious time

and put an end to soulmate-searching drama

we've prolly brushed against each other

we're just too frickin' stupid to even bother

hey it's not like we're getting any younger

and let's not forget all those standard procedure

that might take up another few more years

oh i am tired of talking to someone in the future

if i could i would just squeeze into the drawer

and spare this series of heart-breaking nonsense

this series of heart-breaking nonsense

this series of heart-breaking nonsense

hello

what's your name?

song: dear mr. future
by: wani ardy

i am that

i am the droplet of dew
that kisses the other side of your bedroom window
and blurs up the view from inside

i am the footsteps
that trails on your manicured lawn
and tramples on the beds of roses

i am the bad milk
that you eat with your favorite cereal
and upsets your stomach by surprise

i am the blood stain
that discolor the white of your shirt
and becomes a visible dot

i am the memory
that will not leave your brain
and decides to be recalled.

Terkini!

"lebih baik aku hidup berkaki ayam

daripada mencuri selipar orang kat masjid lepas solat jumaat..!!"

KUALA LUMPUR - di atas merupakan kata-kata wisdom seorang rakan ku.

beliau dilaporkan kehilangan sepasang selipar cap buaya (crocs) berwarna hitam dan hijau kegemarannya ketika sedang menyempurnakan solat jumaat di sebuah masjid terkemuka di kota raya.

kini hidup beliau terumbang-ambing dan tidak keruan akibat hilangnya "kemachoan" beliau yang terletak pada seliparnya.selipar tersebut telah menjadi periuk nasi beliau setelah lebih setahun dan juga merupakan senjata penting bagi beliau untuk memancing wanita.

kini, beliau terpaksa menggunakan kuasa "mengayat" beliau yang kurang memuaskan itu untuk mendapatkan nombor telefon wanita-wanita random. waima kecewa sekalipun, beliau tetap optimis bahawa dalam masa sehari sahaja, beliau akan nescaya mendapat sekurang-kurangnya 2000 nombor telefon gadis (melalui yellow pages).

tiada kecederaan fizikal yang serius yang dialami oleh mangsa, namun hati beliau koyak akibat ego beliau yang tercalar.beliau nekad untuk berkaki ayam ke masjid selepas kejadian ini. dan sekiranya hari hujan, beliau bercadang melapik kaki beliau menggunakan plastik apam balik yang selalu dibeli sebelum bersolat.

sekian, Brito Panah (Berita Panas versi kelantan).

tempat dan situasi sama

beberapa bulan yang lalu, aku di sini, di tempat yang sama. memikirkan perkara-perkara yang sama. di sini juga lah, masalah-masalah tersebut hilang. aku harap pisang berbuah dua kali.

mungkin

mungkin aku fobia
dengan perihal-perihal silam.
segala kejadian-kejadian
yang kategorinya "sejarah".

mungkin juga aku cuma takut
akan perkara yang bakal terjadi.
hal-hal yang tidak diketahui
oleh sesiapa terutama aku.

mungkin aku tidak pasti
dengan diriku sendiri.
persoalan siapa, apa dan mengapa
prinsip dan moralku, cita dan cintaku.

atau mungkin kerana aku tahu
bahwa aku punyai sepasang kaki
yang sihat dan berupaya
yang mampu berlari, membawa ku jauh

jauh dari sini.

it

it is not easy
it is not just another job
it involves you
and it involves other people
it involves your feelings
and it involves others'
it is a form of karma
it is a huge part of fate
it connects you to things
it connects you to people
it is here to make my life better
it is here to haunt me
it is haunting me again.

pada ke mana sih?

fuhhh udah lama bangat gwe nggak ngupdate blog nya. barangkali rame yang tertanya pada ke mana sih royalcrapater nya! yaa, gwe agak capek minggu ini padahal, gwe punyain banyak tugasan..sempat juga gwe pergi liburan di tioman. mungkin juga gwe akan update perihal tripnya nanti.

gwe udah dapatan kerja, mula kerja nya 2 minggu lagi. kok gwe nggak ada baju sih untuk dipake ke kerja! jadinya, minggu ini butuh shopping doank! mungkin aja pake baju mbak nya. kerja nya yaa dekat aja kok ama rumah..gwe barangkali naikin tren aja hari-hari. ya jimat juga jimat!

itu aja buat masa ini. kapan lagi gwe update sih blognya.

bullet in the lawn

the suede surface of the clouds

the silky ray of the tangerine sun

the distorted voices of the crowd

the one single sound shot of the gun.

a bullet in the lawn.

i'm gone.

a Coy worth the chase

This is Chase Coy. first heard of him from my friend.

This is one of the more unpopular songs of his, i found, but it's as good as the others. and this is my favorite so far, apart from picturesque and never had the courage.

he also has the tendency to name his songs to the months of a year. haha. anyhoo, here it is, the live version of closer.

my black note book

what do you write on the first page of a new book?

while i was cleaning up my room, i found my black notebook that i lost few years back.

needless to say, i was very excited.

i turned to the first page, to see what i had writen.

and there i wrote:

"never stop writing"

but there was nothing else on the pages after that.

i am ironic.

signs

there are many times when we just go on with the paths that brought us anywhere, and forgot to read the signs. the roads may get bumpy and winding, and most often than not, confusing. these are the times when you need to look out for the signs.

if people were rain

taken from tumblr

because i do

song by pearl and the puppets.

potensi

apa yang lebih baik sekarang ini bukanlah orang yang telah memiliki segala-galanya (sudahlah bukan dengan hasil titik peluh sendiri), tetapi orang yang berpotensi memiliki segala-galanya dengan sedikit usaha dan kepercayaan.

potensi itu menjanjikan seribu satu kepastian, dan semua orang memilikinya. apa yang menjadi perbezaan hanyalah sama ada kita menggunakannya atau tidak.

aku suka menjadi orang yang melihat sendiri potensi menjadi kejayaan.

pacman is older than me

in conjunction with the 30th anniversary of Pacman, google, decided to let users play pacman on its homepage. very cool!

so i played, as it looked tempting..

  

and managed to finish all of it..

this is how it looks like, when you've completed it:

i missed those days, when a game or two of pacman is all you need to help you get through the evening rain (cause you couldn't go out to play badminton or ride the bicycle). this is my achievement. not impressive, but hey, i got rusty.

happy birthday, Pacman. thank you for being there for me when i needed you to pass the time.

click on picture to enlarge.

saya mahu pergi bercuti!

encek crab: cepat, cepat mari ke mari

di pasir pantai kita menari!

theroyalcrapster (dalam hati): eh pandai ketam ni buat pantun dua kerat.

aku mahu ke mana saja asal bukan di sini!

\^^/

/  \

and i quote "keep it in a corner, for you to always remember?" how do u 'frame' ur memories?

ur Q is very complex, but i'll attempt to answer. (since ur quoting from me anyway :p)

u frame ur memories in accordance to folders of moments, rather than time. u rarely remember events that happen at a certain minute and second. but rather, it happens the other way around, which means that that moment is impactful and significant to you, and therefore becomes a memory.

that is how it works with me anyway. also, u may have different sections of your heart and mind for different people and events. the most important things consume most of the spaces.

so thats how i understand it..hope i answer ur Q :)

Ya, saya kaunter pertanyaan:

in my life

a close friend of mine, Yaya, who is always there to give advice and to always simply ask how i am doing, dedicated this song to me for my graduation.



we knew each other from four years back, but over the years, grew apart little by little because of time and distance. but in heart kilometres, we are still very very close..

thank you yaya, i will always remember you c:

kalau kau tak suka aku

kalau kau tak suka aku:

- tak payah baca blog aku.
- tak payah kawan dengan aku.
- tak payah peluk-peluk aku konon-konon sedih sebab nak berpisah dah.
- tak payah ingat aku dah, buang aku dari memori kau, baik dan buruk.

dan aku cuma nak bagitahu yang, aku tak pernah langsung rasa tak suka kau walaupun suara kau annoying dan orang cakap perangai kau macam hanjing.

dan walaupun sebenarnya lagi ramai orang tak suka kau dari yang suka kau.

walaupun aku tak habiskan masa dengan kau 365 hari setahun, aku tetap suka berkawan dengan kau.

sampai lah aku dapat tahu yang rupanya kau tak suka aku.

jadi sekarang, sila disappear dari hidup aku.

thank you for all the good times.





p/s: perempuan. so harap jangan ada yang perasan terasa lak.

i am a godmother

some time ago, Mojax wrote a post in his blog about having a cute little family.

and so i found the need to budge in, in this wonderful fantasy and left a comment.

soon after, Mojax wrote an entry of me, wanting to become the godmother to his children.

which is super cute.

this is the entry.

i will remember this forever

and fulfill my noble obligations of pampering my godsons and daughters.

haha!

pasar cowok

hari ini hari yang sangat menarik.

pagi, aku selesaikan sedikit kerja ku. agak awal aku terjaga, memandangkan aq tidur semalam agak lewat.

beberapa hari ni, aku kurang pasti dengan perasaan yang aku rasa. aku tak berapa faham dengan emosi yang macam secret code nih. adakah cinta? jeng jeng jeng. impossible. aku sentiasa in love, tak rasa cam ni pun?

tengahari, aku dan Li bergegas ke pwtc untuk menyelesaikan audition broadcast journalist/presenter/radio dj untuk media prima. aku tak lah berapa nak sangat, tapi meneman Li. tapi aku fikir, dah alang-alang menyeluk perkasam, biar sampai ketiak masam. eh eh, ke situ pula. dah ada kat situ, aku pun mencuba nasib. rasanya, tak lah teruk, tapi tak juga hebat.

Li: wehh baca sikit horoscope aku weh..

theroyalcrapster: hmm, dia kata hari ni ko tak boleh makan ayam.

aku pula, akan jumpa jejaka hensem.

haa tada! ehh, betul la horoscope tuh! hahaha

petang, meneman Li berjumpa buah hati dan makan. memandangkan aku diboikot oleh ibu-bapa dari wang saku, hehe, aku hanya mampu makan roti canai garing potong sebagai alas perut. salah aku, katanya, kerana tidak pulang ke rumah. haih, nasib ku labu.

lewat petang, pergi bermain layang-layang. akhirnya. setelah berdekad menunggu untuk hari tidak hujan, akhirnya shah alam di'blessed' untuk disinari matahari di petang ini. malangnya, angin hanya sepoi-sepoi dan tidak begitu rancak. lalu aku pun terpaksa berlari dengan extra dan memaksa layang-layang itu menguasai ruang udara. berpeluh juga dibuatnya.

 kalau ni pun xboleh, nak masuk benang dalam jarum jangan haraplah!

ngurusin yang penting-penting. kapan kok mau ngerbanginnya!

(bahasa indon belah kalimantan kat taman orang utan sepilok)

dah lari 200km/j pun naik paras tu je. T.T

"aku berhenti berlari.." (rentak 'berhenti berharap' SO7)

oi oi, dah maghrib lah. astaghfirullah..balik, balik!

(time ni la tiba-tiba angin kencang)

beberapa anak kecil yang comel-comel belaka dan yang memiliki kaki pendek dan gemuk seperti ayam drumstick KFC meninggalkan ibu bapa mereka serta bola dan berlari ke arah aku dan layang-layang. oleh kerana ia berwarna warni, aku menjadi tumpuan kanak-kanak. terima kasih peminat-peminat kecil ku!

danish! dah besar nanti jadi heartbreaker ok?

(apa punya nasihat daa. budak tu pun xfaham, angguk je)

malam, sepatutnya pergi berenang, tetapi memilih untuk menghabiskan masa bersama Freaky dan Li, memandangkan aku berkemungkinan tidak berjumpa beliau lagi.

Freaky mengajak ke skate park di Putrajaya, dan dia ber'skate'. aku juga mencuba, dan harus ku akui, agak addictive! aku menanam niat untuk membeli sebilah skateboard jika ada duit poket lebih di masa depan. dan atmosfera di skate park memang, waduh waduh, pasar cowok deh!! 99.9999% berjantina lelaki! cuma 3 orang gadis di situ: aku, Li dan seorang makcik yg meneman anaknya. inilah yang dinamakan surga dunia!

Li tengok mata xberkelip. hehehe.

Li: haaa, pilih pilih pilih! (gaya pasar malam) *air liur meleleh deras*

aku nak yang baju hitam lah. comel je rambut dia, match dengan kasut.

theroyalcrapster: syukur, sungguh menakjubkan fasiliti dan kemudahan

yang disediakan kerajaan demi menjana warga belia yang sihat dan dinamik.

memang rakyat diutamakan! tahniah kerajaan!

ada yang hanya berseluar dan tidak berbaju, ada yang berpeluh, ada yang bertopi, ada yang berambut panjang. ada juga yang bertuala sahaja (keluar dari shower dan mesti dia ingatkan tiada perempuan, sekali..surprise!). yang berbaju.. apa kurangnya. style: tip-top! sempat aku dan Li bergambar di sekitar skate park sementara menunggu.

ini Freaky. cukup serba-serbi tetapi maaf, sudah berpunya.

*bunyi hati berkecai seluruh malaya*

ini Li. tengok tu, pakai dress diri atas skateboard.

hati mana yang tak cair? perempuan melayu "terakhir" zaman moden.

tapi maaf, sudah berpunya.

*bunyi pinggan mangkuk berkecai seluruh zon selatan pantai timur*

ini Avril malaya. dia budak skate.

boleh kata pro lah. pro apa? pro-paganda lebih.

hahahaha.

haa tengok tuh, skateboard sampai dulu.

baru la terbaekkk.

 ok, hakikatnya, aku memang pro. tengok lah tu.

hebat betul balance. perghh. malu tony hawk tengok.

(suara latar: tak bergerak boleh la!)

kami terpaksa menolak pelawaan beberapa sk8ers (ceh ejaan nak begitu) untuk chillz di mamak kerana Li mahukan tempat yang lebih menarik.

lantas kami ke AC (asia cafe), dan terserempak dengan beberapa rakan: Joe, 4A. mereka ingin ber'pool'. kami makan dan naik ke atas. ramai lagi rakan kami di situ yang sedang 'bersukan'. mereka berlawan antara satu sama lain, sementara aku cuba melakukan perkara-perkara bodoh yang boleh men'distract' mereka di samping melayan kebosanan ku.

ini geng mafia sempadan uptown dan highway s24 baru.

tengok tu. gerun tak?

para peserta handalan. bak kata ikram, "tangan pembaris".

beliau tewas ke tangan Freaky kerana beliau bertangan set square.

(budak Lukisan Kejuruteraan je faham)

di sini juga pasar cowok, namun cowok-cowoknya tidak begitu taste bak kata 'kakak-kakak'. saya tidak gemar lelaki yang minum. (tapi kalau dah sememangnya bukan islam, lain cerita lah).

lalu kami semua menghibur dan terhibur. suatu malam yang seronok, memandangkan kami tak lama lagi akan berpisah dan mulakan hidup baru: alam pekerjaan.

p/s: freaky telah menghantar mesej kepada aku dan Li mengucapkan selamat hari guru..sweet :) thanks!

pp/s: terima kasih Li untuk gambar-gambar tersebut :)

happy graduation, sad graduation?

sad. for now.

Ya, saya kaunter pertanyaan:

Twitter

I finally conform to the ever impending socialism.

one current trend that is going to stay for a heck of a long time: Twitter.

since i might dip my feet in the advertising field, i might as well get my self prepped up with all the social networking fads just to get a first-hand experience of what its all about. 

plus, its free - i have nothing to lose.

so ladies and gentlemen, my Twitter page:

http://twitter.com/izzaize

do follow me on twitter, i will guarantee interesting quips and tweets that are worth your seconds.

if you have any questions, i also have a formspring account:

http://www.formspring.me/izzaize


geez, graduation marks the beginning of all things virtual. its not like we are all willing to give our phone numbers to strangers. so yeah, these sites are good substitutions.

spot me if you can #6

the other day, as my friends and i were wifi-ing at Burger King Section 13, the fly.fm myvi troopers came to promote the 1ummph 1smile 1Malaysia thingy. we were asked to smile and was then photographed in order to be enlisted for the Malaysian Book of Records (for something) and to be entitled for the RM5k grand prize. so yeah, the person with the most votes will get a chance to win. so, i found mine at the website. haha. please vote so i can pay my bills. or if you dont want to, its still fine :)


CLICK HERE TO VOTE


i was actually in a dishevelled state, and my hair was everywhere, and coral isnt really my colour, and havent had much sleep at that time, but anyway the photographer did quite a wonderful job in making me look ok. haha

p/s: my friends, Li and Taj were also photographed, but i couldnt find theirs..

crossroad

the semester is about to end

and the break is coming

what should i do?

a. go on a holiday

b. take a break at home

c. work

d. fitness (lol. as if)

crossroads, crossroads..

three random events, one single journey

ahmagad! how long has it been since i indulge in you my ol' lil' blog? been really crazy at my end these days, and now, im breathing again! fuhhhhh! god bless everyone! haha (ok, how many exclamation marks in a sentence there! i must be damn ecstatic!) im beginning to feel like mah-self again!

today, i finally drove home in a peaceful mood. no rush, no tense, no concerns. man, im lovin it! and when im happy, things get random around me. *how and why? mm-hmm, exactly.*

situation: driving through federal highway. today (friday). lots of cars. jam-packed. evening around 4pm.


random event #1:

i saw a kid standing in the middle of the road, with two large garbage bags on his shoulder. weird thing is, he didnt look like he was crossing the road. its as if he was just standing there. maybe he was scared as there were a bajillion cars on the road, and crossing would be like pigs flying: impossible.

but he was there, in the middle. and the weirder thing is, cars on the three-lane road stopped for him. yeah, including me. and we all watched as he crossed and stood on the road divider. and cars moved again. like whaaa? super legend! the busy federal highway users stopped for this kid? gee wheez. malaysian drivers do still have that "budi bahasa" thing in their hearts while their on the road. awesomistic!


random event #2:

as i was reaching the bangsar area from the npe highway, justin bieber's Baby was playing on fly.fm, so i changed the channel (hehe sorry bieber fans :p) and tuned in to hitz.fm. and holy shit! Baby's playing on hitz too! i was like, geez whammy! can anything be more predictable! so in a huff, i changed to mix.fm. Sham was on the mic and he spoke about some traffic stuff. phewwh. managed to escape the Bieberism.

few seconds later, Sham introduced a song, and *wait for it, wait for it* he played bieber's Baby!! arrrghhhhhhh!! same artiste, same song?! somebody, rescue the industry please! dont get me wrong, i like bieber (in a normal dose, not like a super fan or anything), but i dont like that song (Baby). feeling rather cheated (by the three radio stations), i tuned to xfm, knowing that bieber wont make it to this station coz they play all locals. hahah!


random event #3:

was driving, at this time i was around the indian embassy, not sure where lah. anyways, as i was driving and this time listening to good music (hahah!), suddenly a car was honking next to me. it was a black viva with a johor plate. so i looked on my right, and the guy in the passenger seat was waving like mad at me and the driver was honking.

i got scared, like, did something happen to my tyre, or is something hanging out from my door? then they overtook me, and we went into the intersection heading to duke highway (yeah, i use a lot of highways fyi), so i just drove calmly, and next thing i know, they're again on the lane on my right. they matched my speed and gestured for me to wind down my window. i was like "damn! ok. something must be wrong".

when it was down, the guy in the passenger seat almost shouted: "hey awak! mean people sucks kan? (referring to my bumper sticker: Mean People Sucks) kitorang x mean, kitorang nak berkenalan!!"  whatthefruitloops!!! all that trouble just to say that?!?! manusia ni dah jadi psycho! i couldnt help but laugh and by the time, we were approaching a diverging road. they took right, and i was going left. the guys waved and i showed them the peace sign. now that is random.

so those are some of the random things that happened to me on the road today. i still couldnt figure out why i am always witnessing or being in the scene of these randomizations. but most of the times, random is good. i like random. give me random. hahahah!

so yeah. peace to y'all peeps. bounce.



p/s: go check out Caprice's Pilihanku official music video. uber hotness. as hot as global warming these days.

to those who work

in conjunction with labour day, google changed its layout. pretty dope:

HAPPY LABOUR DAY !!


p/s: most of the shops were closed, and the malls were filled with throngs of people (ugh).

another tubesday

haha the midnight beasts really rock parodies! this is awesome. check it out. and stefan is cute hahaha

mantap atau meletup?

mantap sampai meletup.

Ask me anything

just a thought

when everything's put at a cost, then what is important, what is valuable now?