I'm still planning to destroy the world in a gentle manner.

Finally, I've got some form of internet connection after so long of only relying on the office internet. I'm beginning to think that it could be God's way in telling me to actually go out and see people more rather than just be tied to this virtuality obsession.

But I've been doing quite poorly in the health department - so, still no heavy socializing. The only socializing I've been doing is with this nasty germs and cruel bacteria. They won't leave me alone. Just cleaned my room to get rid of any bad chi, if any. Progress so far looks promising.

So I've decided that I need to buck it up to better health as the new year is fast approaching (we're talking about a few days here). No particular reason why I should be in better shape in 2012, but yeah, I just don't want to be not in my best condition during the best times of the year. I'm the life of the party - get real! Haha.

Been running a lot lately, it helps my mood and also you know, sweat is generally good. Just realized I've got some cute neighbors living on the street next to mine - so there you go, motivation? Check.

I also noticed I got weak arms. Really feeble like I only managed a set of 8s each. Yeah, I disappoint myself on a regular basis. Nothing new there.

Health-wise aside, I'm doing alright. Honestly, just trying to get by. Need some re-work on the metaphysics, which I haven't got some real solid QT to really focus on which is pathetic.

They say you make the time you have. Utter BS for people who lacks time management skills like me.

You know those garbage they sell to you in Eat, Pray, Love and those lingering within the same postcode? That's actually good garbage, I've recently came to realize. You gotta love yourself more guys. Stop thinking it's vain; even if it is, why the hell not if it will do you good?

(I'm just gonna continue rambling from here just because I can. So here's a good place to stop reading if you're not into people rambling pointlessly)

I will re-emphasize that 2011 has been extremely rocky - I nearly got thrown out of the roller-coaster seat! But I'll save the reminiscing for a traditional Rock Paper Scissors' Goodbye 20XX, Hello 20XX post. Not that I'm looking forward to it.

I also realized I have no idea what I've been doing - I mean, I know what I do but yeah I don't internalize..not anymore. But who the phuck cares right? Just like how nobody cares about the excessive amount of carbon emission that leads to global warming today - they care, but they don't really.

So yes, we will conform with whatever the society demands of us - grow up, get good grades, graduate, get a decent job, get married, have a family, raise your children, reap your retirement saving and die. Everyone, all the same.

Of course you can mix up the stages to suit you best and to look a tad individualistic, but eventually, you'll have to do it. Even if you think you have some sort of choice, the choices are thrown at you by the society. In the end either way you choose to go, you'll end up probably doing only half a breath of what you really wanted to do.

I'm sure I'm not making any sense here, but if you do understand then you're my kind. Even if you don't, nobody cares. You'll move on with your life and forget about this post.

So stop whining about how I wasted a surmountable percentage of your time that you could use to pluck your eyebrows and deal with it. This is life. People use your time and you use theirs. Haven't you heard of symbiosis?

And time is not money - that's BS. How can you even put value to time? You are allowed to use your time as you wish to use it - even if you're not doing anything and it's not profitable. And no one can say that you're wasting your time. Which is definitely, totally not what I'm doing right now.

Holocene

Holocene by Bon Iver

"And at once I knew, I was not magnificent"

Not all who wander are, but..

from here.

Too much of anything is not good for you

Don't Regret Regret by Kathryn Schulz (TED Talks)


"Regret is there to remind us we can do better.."


The one piece of advice I will take from 2011. Happy birthday to me. To better, wiser decisions in years to come.

They all want you until they have to deal with you.

We keep looking for truths in everything we do, everywhere we go and in everyone we meet. We speak of it as if it is tangible; as if it can be measured; as if we deserve it.

Some say that Truth is God, and we shall look no further. Some say Truth is honesty, and that it is one hard to come by these days. Some say it's overrated and abused like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Some say truth hurts.

I don't give a sh-- about people's take on it - all I know is it's out there; and in here (in my being).

I keep trying to imagine this world where there is only truth, and no forms of deceit or lies exist - but it would be terrible, in a way. It wouldn't be functioning right, somehow. Maybe this is a by-product of centuries of cognitive and behavioural conditioning in reaching the Ideal.

Maybe we deliberately lie - so we can keep looking for that thing called Truth.

I Am the Ocean

I am the ocean
and you contain me
my high and low tides
in all the depth of the sea

I am the ocean
and you carry me
to greet the sandy shore
for a taste of my salinity

I am the ocean
and you are my gravity
in all my velocity, and
my immense capacity

I am the ocean
as you very well know me
I don't sink nor I float
- I only be

I am the ocean
to every degree
and you willingly sustain
through apogee and perigee

The Crazy Post

It's not even the end of the year yet, but I can definitely say that it's been a really crazy year to sum up. And not just the usual crazy, but CRAZY, if you know what I mean. A lot of firsts and randoms, and I have to say, I'm breaking my own record here from previous years. It just gets better with time huh? (bajet macam wine la konon). I have no idea what happened in between January and November, but man, it was crazy! Crazy fast, crazy fun, crazy in every manner. It feels like only yesterday where I was sitting in my room contemplating suicide (haha ok not funny) on my 23rd birthday and BOOM, what do you know, it's coming again in around a week. Not that I'm counting days like I used to (birthdays really is just like any other day as you age - which sucks!), but hell, what have I been doing throughout 2011?! Next thing I know it's 2030. Currently I'm feeling a little bit nostalgic; I really had some extreme ups and extreme downs. But oh well, as the optimistic saying goes, such is life. Now December, surprise me :p

#talkingtothemoon

from here.

Dosed

Dosed by Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Take it away, I never had it anyway,
Take it away, and everything will be okay.."


They probably had a downer when this song was written, hah! But RHCP still rocks in their true style even in the melodramatic zone, where they don't usually roam. Highly relevant lyrics and epic, epic bass and rhythm. Like coffee and cream. (Although somehow the bass reminds me of Bunkface's Last Minute - which in any case Bunkface would be the one inspired by RHCP and not the other way around. Clearly)

And Kiedis - he surprised me. The vocals is versatile.

I actually just started listening again to my old CDs, hence why the sudden burst of classic hits. Talk about blast from the past. Do expect to have me post some Hanson or the Moffats hits soon :p


p/s: I just immersed myself in their I'm With You album. Review coming soon. Or not.

pp/s: I'm completely dosed.

the Art of Drowning

from here.

repeat repeat

From here.

A repetition that is not a routine, but a reminder that reoccurs in my conscience and my dreams. Almost like a heartbeat. Or the rippling sound of waves. Or the glimpses of smiles that cameo in my mind.

Walk in the Sky

Walk in the Sky by Bonobo (Aaron Jerome Glitch Mix)

Simon Green (or stagename, Bonobo) approaches downtempo in a very quietly distinct way; almost orientally-inclined with a minute stroke of triphop. Magic happens when he contrast the rhythms with Bajka's edgy vocals.

For a Samba-esque alternative, click here. Satisfaction guaranteed.

On 'success'

from here

(Taking cue from Wideman from the previous post, I'll share my two cents. Heh)

I believe that failure is not a form of falling; instead, it is the act of sinking, where you will soon float again. Gracefully.

If you must fail, then fail in style - because success is always unexpected, so when the day finally comes, you've already dressed the part.

But remember, failure is only as temporary as success. So, always paddle to float.

There is no success without failure.

On "night"

by John Edgar Wideman

"..Night changes things. You can't see exactly how, but you can feel it in your bones. Spaces open up, which haven't been there before. You know that nights different, and you guess at why, and you wonder why, but you understand that you'll never understand, because the night is about things changing. The other fact about night, is the fact that it doesn't last, it's temporary. And like all good things it must come to an end.."



p/s: one of my favorite poetry slams, Def Poetry (or Def Jam Poetry founded by Russell Simmons et. al.), once showed Mos Def (the host) quoted Wideman's take on nights. Click here to watch.

Love is a Place

Love is a Place by Metric

If I can, I'd be at the Charles Bridge in Prague right now professing my love.

Or just about anywhere anyway, and be doing the same thing.

bohong

oleh Mosyuki Borhan

bohongi aku tentang kau yang sudah berpunya
bohongi aku tentang kau yang sedang menukangi cinta dengan
kekasih lama
bohongi aku tentang senyummu serta bicara-bicara kita yang
cuma pura-pura

aku akan percaya semua bohong-bohongmu
untuk aku tak lagi mengingatimu

kerana
aku sedang membohongimu tentang menyukai dia yang
sebenarnya adalah kamu


nota kaki: lagi karya beliau, sila klik.

Trying to reach you

Trying to Reach You by Nurses

From their upcoming album, Dracula.

adowable

from here.

The house was quiet and the world was calm

By Wallace Stevens


The house was quiet and the world was calm.
The reader became the book; and summer night

Was like the conscious being of the book.
The house was quiet and the world was calm.

The words were spoken as if there was no book,
Except that the reader leaned above the page,

Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be
The scholar to whom his book is true, to whom

The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
The house was quiet because it had to be.

The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind:
The access of perfection to the page.

And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world,
In which there is no other meaning, itself

Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself
Is the reader leaning late and reading there.


-end-


To read at night, I think, creates a realm of autonomous solitude. In fact, doing anything at night gives you a sense of solitude. Have been surrounding myself with books these days - a habit that I have forgo not too long ago (yes, I shouldn't). I guess sometimes life just takes over, and you think if you don't get in the pulse of things you will be left behind. But no, not anymore. I have taken the calmer approach and just taking things really slow now. Certain events have made me realize that in the end, things will come around. So meanwhile, just kick back and relax. Do it like the Marley.