Sunday, April 25, 2010

therapy for the eyes and soul

hey lately i've been kind of reallly down in the pits, and i thought it must have showed in some of my previous posts. guess i just need to let it out someway, and well, my blog is my cathartic escape. but i think im doing better. it sucks, the last few days. but hell, life's a b*tch and so what. 

so i just suddenly felt the urge of putting up some photos from my trip with le familia through the Great Ocean Road (OZ), on new year's day, 2009. we saw the Twelve Apostles, and it was the highlight of the trip for me, as the panorama was just breath-taking!


the twelve apostles


on the way to the end

from afar
subliminal

walking against the debris

 long way to the end


hazard!


wow.
 two things to do here:
1. suicide
2. propose

pitstop at Port Campbell

where we stayed for the night

 this is the night when i slept really well. the bed!

where we sheltered. my sis is a real genius. 
wearing close to nothing in one-digit celcius!
in her cheer stance. oh god.


continued the trip

shooting galore

tempted to join

there were cows along the way,
like real healthy cows.
the parents insisted we stop to watch.
my sis, izlia, cried when we had to say goodbye to the pack.
guess she connected with 'em cows.


somewhere on the way

port campbell from atop

how unfortunate, it wasnt a Sunday


a cow. small one.


a lobster. huge one.

no trash astray, even in the middle of nowhere!
look at the strip of ocean behind.

against the coming of the night.


how to caption this! lost for words.


wondering if the world is too big for a human.

there are hundreds more of the trip. if i can find the time, or the patience (with the internet connection) i will put some up later. looking at the photos, the 'bellisimistic' view (ok, i coined that word up), is very therapeutic. it helps the soul. wish i was born, bred, and live in those surroundings. damn cool weyh!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

tenang.

semalaman aku tidak tidur. berkali-kali aku refill air teh di McD. jiwa kacau, hati racau lah katakan. berpaket-paket gula aku isi; rakus macam ambil dadah. aku keluar menenangkan emosi aku yang tatkala itu tak ubah seperti ombak menghempas pantai. rasa nak bantai orang pun ada. rasa nak meraung pun ada. rasa nak tutup muka dengan selimut pun ada.

aku layankan juga perasaan. keluar, dengan niat mencari ketenangan. beberapa insan yang prihatin mengajak ku keluar. sebelum itu, aku telah mengisi perut kosong dengan orang-orang terapat di restoran Hassan. gembira sikit hati. tapi tetap berombak.

lantas, jiwa lara ku dibawa ke ampang. mataku disogok pemandangan Kuala Lumpur yang terang benderang, dan langit tak berbintang memayungi ku. telinga disuap alunan muzik dari gitar kapok dendangan rakan ku dan bibir ku perlahan-lahan menyanyikan sekali bait-bait not yang dimainkan.



di antara gelak tawa dan senyuman, minda ku berulang-ulang kali memikirkan sesuatu. hal tersebut sememangnya tak ubah seperti wayang gambar, hampir sukar dipercayai. aku fikirkan, sambil lama-kelamaan hal itu hilang bersama angin yang bertiup menandakan akan hujan.

akhirnya, di tengah kota itu, hujan turun membasah bumi. begitu juga masalah ku, dan emosi ku, dan segala perasaan bercampur-baur di dalam hati ku - jatuh lumut ke tanah, dan hanyut dalam refleksi pada lopak-lopak air.

aku yakin bahawa hatiku akan senantiasa mengingat perasaan yang aku rasai pada malam itu, dan kotak memori ku pasti menyimpan kejadian itu dalam satu lubuk khas. namun, ku bahaskan jua dengan diriku yang perkara lepas tidak patut dijadikan halangan untuk terus maju dalam hidup, walau sesukar mana pun untuk aku lakukannya. 

aku biarkan hilai tawa rakan-rakan ku menggamit ku kembali pada realiti. dan aku minum lagi teh panas tatkala kesejukkan hujan jam 5pagi. ku tenteramkan jiwa, ku motivasi diri agar kembali tenang. kembali pada keadaan asal. ku bayangkan ianya tidak pernah berlaku.

dan sesampai ku di rumah, sang matahari mula menyingkap awan malam, dan kelabu langit yang masih belum puas menangiskan hujan. ku buka tingkap, ku hirup udara segar pagi, ku lihat mendung awan jam 7, dan tiba-tiba jiwa ku menjadi kembali tenang. aku tersenyum sendiri. hidup siapa yang tiada masalah? biasalah, asam garam hidup. 


lalu ku terus sarapkan halwa telinga dan hati dengan playlist cover instrumental oleh David Sides di youtube. lagu Take A Bow oleh rihanna. layan kan saja.

sekarang, masa untuk capai apa yang ku mahu. masa untuk bertindak.
apa pun, misi terbesar jangka masa pendekku perlu diselesaikan dulu: AE.

buat yang terbaik, izza.

ya, aku boleh.

exagerasi emosi

the chest

in a lifetime, there will be a chest;
where you keep all the secrets,
all your wishes,
all your hopes
and your regrets.

that chest,
you lock
and the key,
you keep.

the chest remains,
the secrets,
the wishes
the hopes
and the regrets
remain.
the key,
remains.

it all remains,
with you
and only you.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

why it rains.

in the words of my kanojo, wawa, who texted me some time today, he said that when we cry, the sky cries with us.

and tonight, the rain pours, as though it has been secretly trying not to in years.

help

the worst 19 hours of my life.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

damn it

please,

i want to get done with my AE.

i want to get done with all of these.

then i just want to go someplace very very far

some place nobody can find me, especially not you

i just want to get away from this!!!!

:'(


aku dan angin

tiada khabar
tiada berita
hanya anginan
terus bertiup
bawa derita

di mana kamu
di saat ini
terusan pergi
tinggalkan aku
mengulam hati

hell week

last week was the hellest of weeks. i couldn't even stop a friggin second to check out my hair, i almost forgot how i even look like. it was a series of madness, and nerve-wrecking moments. if you dare ask, i would say i would never ever want to repeat last week.

on tuesday, we had the final presentation for our current issues class. we were the last group to present, and it was the toughest issue to be presented. "education and globalization"..man, that could be anything under the sun! its like talking about the other 14 topics that has been presented from the beginning of the semester! anyhow, the presentation was prolly not the best i've had, but it was alright, and we all had a moment there where we just felt a little, well, sad. Madam K was our lecturer, and she taught us once when we were in part 3 (ethics), and she had seen us all grow up to be the people we all are today.

on thursday, my group presented our short video for Japanese class. it was amateur-ish (especially in the language department), but i think, in that sense, it was still good. im really proud of all my last minute works so far. haha. it was also the final class for japanese. i had known some wonderful people from that class, and grown closer to some i've known before. on this final class too, i learned two things. that my sensei was the one who sent a report to the HEP (hal ehwal pelajar) saying i didnt come to class for 4 times, and i received a warning letter addressed to my parents' house. my dad flipped but i remained calm. haha. second, i got to know that i had the lowest in the class for the on-going marks for japanese. 30.2 /40. and the rest of the class got 32, or 34 or whatever, and the highest was 39/40.  it was very disappointing for me, as i know if i had the time, i would have done better.

later in the evening, my partner and i, presented on the poem analysis we did for contemporary literature. it was great, we had chemistry (as we just knew each other) and i think we nailed it for the presentation. during this class also, i realized i've made some great friends. i wish we had more time to get to know each other more. they're all pretty awesome.

on friday, i focused all my attention in getting the courseware done, and i missed the deadline for a very important thing. i was really bumped. but on the brightside, my courseware turned out rather cool and awesome-ish. thanks to my friends (who had done it earlier and had some tips to share) in showing me the ropes. another astounding last minute touch.

the weekend turned out to be a whirlwind of things. i couldn't really remember what i did, but i was very sleepy and lethargic. oh yea, i went to the Shah Alam public library for the first time in like 4 years of my study life to do my AE. and sunday i went back to my parents' house (but for only like 3hours) after more than a month. i love the smell of my house. i miss all the little corners and ornaments. i miss the view of sunset from the porch.

one of my only few solace to sanity, which is to fly the kite, has been sabotaged. it rained everytime im about to fly it. i have a very colourful kite, like a vibrant rainbow, and it would be very calming and wonderful if i could see it swimming in the air against the pale blue sky. i need to get sane, i need to pull myself together. and i couldnt. thus, i was sad and my week was horrible.

that was a snippet of what happened last week. full of despair and hopelessness. but in the end, i made it through with some optimism.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

minggu menakutkan

minggu ini sudah hampir tamat. pelbagai perkara yang telah terjadi - ada yang seperti diharapkan, ada yang tidak. namun itu semua adalah norma kehidupan. kini, aku hanya berharap penghujung minggu ini akan menjanjikan pengurusan masa yang lebih teratur agar semua kerja dapat ku selesaikan. amin.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

saya kurang selesa

saya tidak gemar/kurang selesa dengan:

1. gambar orang yang latar belakangnya luas.
ermm maksudnya dalam foto tersebut ada orang tetapi nampak kecil sahaja dan background nya melitupi hampir segenap ruang gambar. contoh:



ini kerana ia membuatkan saya rasa takut dan inferior kepada alam persekitaran tatkala melihat gambar-gambar sebegitu. rasa seperti hati sayup. seperti mengingatkan saya betapa kerdilnya manusia.

2. melihat kaki orang di bawah pintu.
tidak kira lah ada kaki atau tidak, tetapi saya tidak suka meletakkan pipi di lantai dan melihat melalui ruang bawah pintu. aksi ini membuatkan saya rasa claustrophobic walaupun hakikatnya saya tidak berasa sebegitu dalam situasi lain. contoh:



3. kombinasi bau rokok dan (isi tempat kosong)
ini antara benda yang saya tidak suka dan tidak boleh elak. perokok dan bau rokok masih boleh saya tolerate, cuma dalam situasi di mana bau rokok tersebut telah bercampur baur dengan, katakan, bau nafas perokok tersebut (yang sudah memang berbau), atau bercampur dengan bau badan, agak sukar untuk saya terima. ini kerana, terdapat pelbagai cara untuk mengelak: chewing gum, gula-gula etc.


itu sahaja buat masa ini.

*menari dalam separa pusingan, sambil tangan ke udara melambai-lambai*

Saturday, April 10, 2010

best and worst week

this week could be both the best and the worst week.

why the worst?

1. what else, assignments and AE due. =.="
2. we are nearing the exam weeks! wargghh! :o
3. it would be the third last week of my friggin student life..ever! T.T
4. hence, saying farewells, reminiscing, crying, hugging, goodbyes etc which im not particularly good at (though im not that good at keeping relationships either. bad at returning calls!) :s
5. just the fact of having to say goodbye to (almost) everything. T.T :'(


why the best?

1. performing our co-cu drama that we've been practicing, finally! such a wonderful experience. ^.^
2. it's almost the end of uni life, now i get to go to work and see if i fit in! haha :D
3. pre-grad dinner! :p
4. hence, another performance i've been sickly waiting to perform..

this is how i dream to end my student life:
to show them who the real Gaga is! lol
:z :o yey!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

zombie goes to starbucks

i was a walking zombie today. proof?

i felt like my body was beaten up bad like total-rotten type, psychologically abused like i was put on some electric chair with cables stuck to my head and my hair burnt and hit my brain with some ion or that particle shit we learnt at school and i died (only metaphorically. Dear God, i dont intend to pray for this).

i was literally bust out, no energy, not even the slightest milimeter (0.0000000000000001 %) of strength to even walk from my bed to the door to open it. heck, my hand cant even reach out from the bed to my table (which is only next to the bed!) to get my phone!

i rose out of bed, feeling brutally bruised, walking with head tilted and eyes in-between droopy and bulging out. i had no idea what i answered for my Nihongo test this morning which i studied the whole night and morning for as i was too sleepy like super nasty. some people might think i partied the whole night before and came to class hungover!

the look of the day: the combination of Ke$ha (wasted and couldnt care less) and miserable desperate housewife (prolly Lynette Scavo multiply by ten) and also a glimpse of a stray cat (i look like i could use some calcium).

a lot happened in between;, replacement classes, discussions, classes, assignments etc but what turned up my day were:



starbuck's Java Chip (one and only favourite)
yummayh! thank you to whoever invented this,
and the barrista who made it super special today.


ibu and ayah
thank you for the instinctive call
Ayah: buat apa?
Me: baring.
Ayah: huh? baring? are you ok?!?

 *it is seldom that when he (or my mom) calls im lying down or relaxing,
im always, always in the middle of something*

thanks to java chip and my parents, also to tarts and taj for spending a few secs out of their busy schedule with me.


i hope my zombie days to come will be better. and maybe i can upgrade to vampire status, coz it seems fashionable to be one nowadays. only i'd trade blood for syrup.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

the latest 6 things

1. for the last two posts i've been starting to use a larger font. haha i found that i cant see very clear when im typing in the dim yellow light, without my glasses.

2. i came back from having lunch, and felt very tired and dozy. so i laid on the bed and next thing i know, i woke up +- 4hours after! geez. i hate sleeping in daylight. what a waste. *i hate sleeping during the day, and during rain. just something i dont like to do*

3. so consequently, i woke up, got online for a bit, and then there was this announcement:

"perhatian eh, kepada semua penghuni pangsapuri anggerik, kami dari MBSA akan melakukan kerja-kerja penyemburan untuk denggi. haa, di harap anda dapat berikan kerjasama dengan membuka pintu rumah sebelum penyemburan bermula. sekian."

and then there were people throwing back replies and all:

"Lerrrhh, apsal sekarang?! pund*k!!"

"hahhh?? bukan haritu dah ke? teruk ke denggi kat sini?!"

"aku tengah makan lahhhh!!!!"

and then there was me, sitting quietly thinking ohh shitt now i have to get up and cover up all the food (not that theres any) and go open the door.

but i kinda felt amused though, thinking about how this place (this "apartment" where i stayed) is so communal that i can hear somebody's (from god-knows which floor) alarm clock everyday at 1am in the morn (why 1am anyway?), hear somebody's baby cry at 4am, the occasional mother scolding her children in a maniac manner (complete with sound effects from the kitchen - pots and pans clanking etc), and all those remarks mentioned above about the fogging.

my room is facing the corridor, where i can see people walking going to their houses, and they, can see me. i can see people's windows, and even when i shut my windows, i can still hear them. i practically memorized what ringtones people from my block used - coz i always hear them ringing! *but im gonna miss all these when i move out next few months*

4. that aside, im down with the flu..nothing special there. just a running nose, if u havent seen one. hahaha. *lame joke, mannn i sucked*

5. i have +- 15 more days before the submission of my AE and im flipped yo! it would take a miracle for me to get it done by then! *no you wise ass, you can get it done if you move away from this blog and stop being online and do your work instead!*

6. whatever.

Monday, April 05, 2010

things i learned in class 4

nothing extra special today, just the fact that it was the last class for asian literature. it was pretty boring at first as i thought most of the things are rhetoric and like duh im an asian, i dont need to know all these values. but as time rolled and we learned more about the intricate asian rituals and cultures that i have otherwise been oblivious to, i began to love it and to appreciate where i came from more.

my friend and i, we got to present a short story written by Nay Myo Thant about a life of an old woman in Myanmar. the title's "The Tamarind Tree". first we thought it was rather simple, like geez are you freaking challenging my intellectual? kinda feeling, but soon we discovered that its more than just a tamarind tree. i had great pleasure researching for this. nothing extravagant, simple language, but it goes far in depth.

anyways, since today was the last class, i paid extra attention to Mdm Rosalind. she talked summed up about all the things we've learned i had to agree that i really learned a lot from the texts we studied. but one of the points she made, really strucked me. she said:

"there is a difference between being educated and qualified.."

you can go to college and get yourself a freaking degree, but still act with no morale, and then you can just be a plain joe not even graduating from high school but have the best attitude. 

you see, you dont need to go to college or school to be educated. education can take place anywhere at any-freaking-time. education is supposed to make you a better person, not the other way around.

i really liked about what she said. it made me think about what i've become throughout these years i spent in uni. and if im ever gonna make a proper human.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

i am boring and (now) weird/loony.

i have turned into a strictly boring person these days, all no thanks to assignments and my academic exercise. but on second thought, i remembered: in the words of pn.normalizah, a motivator, she said that its human nature to point fingers to others and not ourselves. (doesnt take a motivator to tell you that huh? heck i dont want to waste my youth in prison for plagiarism. better be safe than sorry. so im quoting this)

therefore in this case, i guess im just being human, blaming assignments for sucking up my jovial juices out of me. sheesh.

anyways, as i was watching 'Water' (by Deepa Mehta, an award-winning film about the pre-determined lives of widows in India), i was making mental notes about some serious crap and at the same time, thought about some mind-blowing vein-straining issues regarding err yours truly. (talk about multi-thinking). sure, chauvanists have their best interests for themselves, and heck who says its a crime? how often do i get to do checks-and-balances on myself anyway. but why during this film? i dont even know if the Milky Way exists. (connection? i just dont know why)

i was thinking and thinking, and God bless my soul, i hit a jackpot. i realized something and its overwhelming! it kind of explains many of the things i was like huh? about. its a whole lump like a tumor that im afraid if i say it out loud, not only my roommate would hear me, but the "tumor" might spread to every possible healthy organ in my body.

drama aside, i have a serious confession.

i might be a commitment phoebe.

there, there, i said it! fuhh moksha seketika! you're on your first step to rehabilitation! let's skip the "hello, im zordon the god of power rangers, and im a commitment phoebe (that explains why im stuck in that blue-ish tank with only my head coz actually i dont have a girlfriend coz im a body-less freak)" *clap clap* "hello zordon!", the rest of the group chirped.

well, now that i've admitted to it..what next? start making commitments? dang it. i can start with having a pet. and guess i can start with a fish, easier. (well used to have one, Iman, but died, out of starvation. wasnt my fault! i was just away for a long time! and came back seeing it float *guilt and grief*).

or maybe a turtle? (used to have one too, Abdullah. took special care of it till it was like as huge as i dont know, just real huge like a gargantuan sort and it ran away. in all that weight and size, how can it get away so quickly?! this, i must clarify, is not my fault. maybe i've raised it to be independant and adventurous. it took my good values and maybe went backpacking [re: the shell] to the lorong sebelah? or the hills further up my house? haha he would've looked so cute climbing up and breaking a sweat on his amphibian skin. he'd love the hills more than his bright red super tank [read: plain ol' mega container we once used for the laundry] now talking about him made me miss him a lot. *imaginary tears somersaulting down my silky cheeks*)

anyways, i've got to go back to my boring self again and resume the pile of Damnation (otherwise known as assignments). aaarrrrggghhhh! rahhh-rahh-rumma-mahhh!! *break into breakdance to the beat of Bad Romance*

Thursday, April 01, 2010

misi terdekat gue

my super-short term goals for today include (masakan bisa gue nemui kesemuanya! ayuh berdoa!):

1. refine chapter 3 and add more to chapter 2 (thesis gue yang entah ke manak ni kok!)
2. begin approaching respondents (masih untuk thesis gue, harep ada yang ingin nolong gratis!)

3. start writing movie review for 'Water', submit this weekend (yang ini khilaf gue kok, patut udah di anter isnin lalu)

4. kite-flying! (yaa, udah selesai kesemuanya yang di atas itu, gue berhak memanjakan diri gue dengan beraktivis riadah gitu. kok intuisi gue kuat ngatakan gue enggak bisa selesain semuanya! ah nggak papa, gue tetep akan ke taman ngebarin lelayang gue!!)


my youtube fix for today, memang sumpah awesome:



original by taio cruz feat ludacris, "break your heart". i've fallen musically in love with kurt and frank. btw, kurt and sam tsui was featured on oprah!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

(4+5) x 4

.

what do you do
with the star that you
kept away from time,
but has lost its shine?

.


the star, has fade away
and you, have gone astray..

realiti negara aku 2

kadang-kadang rasa macam nak jadi budak melayu typical. tak nak jadi out-of-the-box, tak nak tanya soalan dalam kelas, tak nak participate apa-apa. tak nak berusaha lebih, tak nak keluar dari negara ni, tak nak tukar mindset, tak nak perbetul mentaliti, tak nak buat apa-apa.

rasa macam nak duduk je tepi tangga tunggu orang suap nasi. tunggu orang hulur duit, tunggu orang pakaikan baju, mandikan, papah ke sekolah. nak tunggu kerajaan bagi insentif, tunggu universiti merayu masuk daftar diri dan belajar, tunggu pensyarah jerit maki hamun lepas tu rotan baru buat kerja, tunggu mak ayah marah baru tolong kat rumah.

tak nak usaha untuk masa depan sendiri, tak nak dengar cakap pemimpin, tak nak pegi mengundi, tak nak ambil pot pasal hal ehwal negara dan sekitar.

nak duduk je dekat rumah tengok tv sampai tv tengok kita. nak tidur je sampai waktu makan lepas tu tido balik. nak jadi orang yang tak ada pendirian, matlamat, prinsip dan sifat ketamadunan. orang yang tak ada patriotism, jati diri, semangat usaha dan dedikasi.

tapi kalo semua orang macam tu, sampai kiamat pun xmaju kaum aku ni! tolong lah sedar dan bertindak dengan conscious. siapa lagi yang nak ubah nasib kita, kalo bukan diri kita sendiri.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

tuesday thoughts

began with a puddle of plead
ended with conscience unrulied.

that part clackered,
and flickered
and fluttered
and fidgeted.

it wants to swim
in the ocean of words;
those you threw up,
exited and flew like birds.

it is fragile, it is composed
but you took for granted,
i supposed.

Monday, March 29, 2010

three on three.

the mellow.





the noveu electro.




the hard and new.



between the postal service's and the iron and wine's version, i still am not sure which one is the original. word has it its the postal service. but i like iron and wine's version better.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

the deal about life

here's the deal.

you want to be the best you can ever be.

but you dont know how.

so you ask your mom,

and your mom said:

Well dear, that's life. We spend all our time figuring out.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

sunny sunday

went to the hot air balloon event today in putrajaya with my two sisters. met up with some campus friends there too. this is the second time they organized this event and i think they should do it annually. it is awesome. at least we malaysians will have more things to look forward to now. haha.

i also heard their doing some backpackers meet-up in putrajaya with music performances and all, where backpackers locally and internationally get together with their tents up and sleeping bags listening to live music. it's still under discussion, but the deal is it's going to be held in putrajaya. cool stuff.

i bought a kite today; it's colorful and cute. i almost bought the one with the octopus head but i thought i might as well get the more professional looking kite. haha. plus cheaper maa.

i dont really like the weather today. very very hot and i was burning. but tonight it rained, so it compensated and balanced out. i guess in life we must do the same, have checks and balances. well, what can i say, im not one to speak - my life sucked too. hahah. have a good week next week.

p/s: if i survive next week, i will reward myself to a bar of cadbury crunchie. next week is war, it is hell, and it is a battlefield of shitass assignments. who bloody created the concept of homeworks and assignments?! if you did, we need to talk!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

hati jauh

pada kebiasaan
jarak yang memisah
juga masa
akan tapi
ada kala nya
masih terasa jauh
walau yang memisah
hanya hati
dan rasional kita
perasaan sendiri
perasaan sepi
tidak layak dirasai
tidak oleh siapa pun

Monday, March 15, 2010

how long now?

how many months has it been now?
how many years have passed;
how long did it last?

how do you feel this moment?
how do you want it to be;
how is the future you foresee?

how do you want it to end?
how i can crash and burn;
just watching you take that turn.

Friday, March 12, 2010

i wonder

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.


sometimes i question my own judgements.



..what if?

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

"here comes the sun"

the sun has always been a symbol of hope, and new beginnings. once the moon disappear through the dark suede sky, you can see a light emergin from the horizons; the sun.




metric is genius and this song is the most genius product by them. the song is full of cross-references and relatable issues that are subtle, though direct.

c'mon baby play me something..


p/s: first fell in love with metric when they covered elliot smith's behind bars.
pp/s: i like the vox's shades. she has a pair that she always wear.

who, me?

what is life without thinking about it? you came to the world from a place where you were alone, and you end your life the same manner. you make the decisions, you do the things you want to do, you have your likes and hates. at the end of the day, you are the only person you need to please.

give yourself some sympathy.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

breathe me

the song is by Sia Furler. this is a live version.



raw and fragile; the song, the singing and the lyrics. like somethings gonna break anytime during the song.

thank you Taj.


alternatively, check out:

the official video

coca-cola olympic commercial featuring this song

Saturday, March 06, 2010

life in list

this is a note for self:

please put your life back into perspective.


the things you need to get done in a short amount of time:

1. AE. dammit one-month plus minus more to go!
2. video for TARA.
3. all other assignments clogging/pending.
4. figure out life.

you must and you will get all four done!

tick tock, tick tock, your life is on the clock!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

subliminal speed


from the hair and the snowflakes, and the fact that she had to shield her eyes,
i know that she's going at a fast speed.
but the look on her face, the calmness..
subliminal.

p/s: what a beauty!

p/ps: i need a bicycle. a velorbis cost me a friggin RM4k!

Monday, March 01, 2010

have what it takes? be my partner.


i've been dying to join this, but can never get around it. now that im almost graduating, i thought, why not? the application ends in 20days or so. but have i got the right partner? working towards that. would you like to be my partner?

some criteria that may help:

  • rough at heart
  • good at navigating (photographic memory of places hahahaha)
  • rational thinker (coz im the impulsive one, i think quick. i need someone to rationalize for me. lol)
  • can eat anything i.e. gooey icky stuff (except of course, those forbidden by religion)
  • chemistry (sekepala, sama-sama masuk air la)
  • camera-loving :D

and most importantly:

  • loves to crack jokes in the midst of tense. haha
really, im into it for the experience, although i do want to win the USD$100,000 (siapa tak nak!). but more importantly than that is to learn about the different cultures in the world, to do something out of the norm, to challenge yourself (you live only once after all!), to be a teamplayer and to get to know more about your teammate and yourself.

so if you share the same desire, and have what it takes, what are you waiting for? give me a buzz, coz im totally in!

WE HAVE 20days MORE (before application ends)

check out more info here.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Maulidur Rasul and Me

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to Dr. Ary Ginanjar Agustian speak on tv (Astro Oasis, channel 106). He is narrating the story of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in conjunction with the Maulidur Rasul tomorrow.

It's quite a surprise that anyone could actually tell the story in a way that i would actually enjoy listening to so much and be affected by it. The way Ary Ginanjar is telling it is so moving that it almost brought me to tears. This reminded me of the ESQ course he held few years back that i went to. the things he say connects so much to your heart that you truly feel them (as if you were there witnessing with your own eyes).

He's speaking without script, and this is a one-hour program. to add to the awe, the language he uses is very poetic..just superb. As he is speaking now, i can see his eyes glistening with tears and his face turning pink. i thinking he's restraining himself from crying. im going to go watch him now.



note for self from the show:

1. tahap pencarian (spiritualitas) - Nabi Muhammad mencari dirinya dengan mencari kebenaran hakiki.
2. pembangunan jiwa tauhid - dengan mencintai Allah, baru boleh mencintai diri sendiri.

3. Jangan jadikan alasan tidak mampu mencintai Rasul kerana kita tidak mengenalinya, kerana beliau bisa mencintai kita tanpa perlu mengenali kita (perkataan terakhir beliau sebelum menghembuskan nafas terakhir di sisi isterinya: "Umati, umati, umati") begitu sayang beliau terhadap umatnya, walau beliau tahu umatnya tidak berpeluang mengenalnya ketika beliau masih hidup.

4. kenali lah dirimu dengan mengenali Tuhan dan Rasul mu.
5. Rasulullah mengajar dua benda: al-Quran dan al-Hadith.
6. Beliau buta huruf, tetapi bisa membaca selepas turunnya surah Al-Alaq. (Malaikat Jibrail menyeru beliau: Iqra'!) betapa penting menimba ilmu dan membaca.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Mortal Kombat

ahahaha this is pretty funny. a parody of the famed mortal kombat. check it out.

sony world photography awards 2009/2010

last week, there was a photo exhibition and my friend and i went to see it. it was refreshing. the Sony World Photography Awards (Global Tour 2009/2010) was held at the Galeri Petronas klcc and it was free. there were lots of photographers, new and seasoned, amateur and professionals. our most favourite has to be dylan collard from uk. his photos are all superb! Here are some of the photos. Copyrights of Sony.



Dylan Collard (UK)
Commercial - Advertising, 3rd place 2009


Julian Abram Wainwright (Canada)
Photojournalism and Documentary - Sport, Winner 2009
 
David Watts (UK)
Amateur, Fine Art - Architecture, Winner 2009


sadly, there were no photographers from malaysia. there was one from singapore (who took a photo of an endangered species of bird in malaysia's rainforest) but none from malaysia. maybe next time there will be more participation in this kinds of competition from malaysian photographers. good stuff.


note: the exhibition is from 04/02-28/03 2010. it's still on, go check it out.

the remains

i empty myself of the names of others. i empty my pockets.
i leave my shoes and leave them beside the road.
at night i turn back the clocks;
i look at the family album and look at myself as a boy.

what good does it do? the hours have done their job.
i say my own name. i say goodbye.
the words follow each other downwind.
i love my wife but send her away.

my parents rise out of their thrones
into the milky rooms of clouds. how can i sing?
time tells me what i am. i change and i am the same.
i empty myself of my life and my life remains.



p/s: this poem was used for my contemporary literature test few days back. i thought it was brilliant.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

untitled




un-a-feel.
unknown.
unrepeatable.

.

song by sigur ros.

most played track of the month.

Monday, February 22, 2010

that face

when a face reaches you, what do you see?

do you look at the smile, the lines that tug it at the corners?
do you search deep into the eyes, swimming in its sorrow?
do you unfold the wrinkles, understanding the years it lived?
do you see it for what it is, or for what it could have been?
do you look at it with your eyes, your mind, or your heart?
do you want to touch the face, with the dryness of your palms?
do you want to keep that face, and put it in your heart?

and keep it in a corner, for you to always remember?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

little ms. misery

ah misery, misery.
they never let me be.

it's always the same forray;
only on a different day.

or

different kinds of shit;
sent to me on repeat.

blimey

oh misery, misery.
a friend to me you'll be.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

what do you want from me



"now here we are,
so what do you want from me?"





p/s:  how convenient it would be if i were to be the one to answer it instead of you.

attacked.

down with fever. and had a wth moment with an asthma attack. i hadnt had it since school, but yeah, things work in circles. i was too comfortable with the air-cond, the cold drinks and walking out in the rain at night, i guess. it all accumulated and came back to haunt me. well what can i do, im just a free spirited girl who thinks life's too short to just sit home and tend to my sickness. carelessness, is pretty much it, if you look at the glass as half empty.

dealing with a lot of things from my bed these days. or sleeping, is what i do most of the times. getting this typed is pretty impressive. i would rather die out of anything but boredom.

been helping out with my sis' cheer stuffs too: the chants, routines, uniforms etc when im awake. hmm got some inside scoop on how its done.

been trying to bond with the bro since his back from uni for the hols. such a waste, he brought his friend home instead. good backup for not listening to me yapping bout what a great life i have. hah. smart boy he is. such an adult now.

another sis is charting out her life pretty much entirely to strategizing ways to get my parents to agree for her to go out and "hang out" with her friends. poor girl, im wayyy pass that (though i still need permission sometimes ugh).

mom is really busy these days. she tries to get her hands into anything, no everything. she's taking painting classes, taking orders and painting for clients. exploring new things, girls' day out, movie dates with dad, anniversary date with dad, hanging out with dad, intruding her children's privacy, investigating her children's lives, visiting friends...the list goes on. all that with in between cooking up a storm for the family, making sure the house is squeaky clean and torturing us. she continues to surprise me.

dad is busy too; with mom, with us children, with the cars, with his channel, with all things work, sleeping, andddd eating. he's such a big eater now! he eats anything, anywhere, all the time. he gets cuter as he gets older. thats my ol' man.

and me; im always in bed. even if im not sleeping, i cant really get anywhere. ive got breathing problems for heavens sake. and fever to add to the suffering. thank god the cyber world is just a click away. even then, i cant really look at the screen for a long time, i'll get headache. so basically, my life these few days revolves around the things between me and the bed and the rest of the house.

but from the bed, i get to appreciate the one thing i always forget to pay more attention to:

my family.

Monday, February 15, 2010

paper bikin gua panas

to be honest, i friggin hate reading the bloody papers nowadays. news they put on the covers are shit and dont even get me started on the exaggerated tabloids. whatthefrankestein are we being fed these days? the news somehow reflects on the readers and i sure dont want to be deemed as some bimbotic who love to take note on whose pants the politicians have been into, or which celebrity has dated whose ex, or this and this VVIP has "melamar" who. i dont bloody care. just like how i dont care who they give the Datuk-ship too. well, if Shah Rukh Khan and Jean Todt who have very little (to none) impact on Malaysia can get the title, than i couldnt be bothered. what a waste.

im now just waiting for my first gray hair to come out, just thinking about all these things! come Chinese New Year, it's all about David Teoh! since when has he been the ambassador for all chinese citizens of Malaysia? he made malaysian movie-goers look like dumb people watching some shitty obvious-dubbing dialogues and wig-wearing casts, and saying "saya buat film (in that weird way he pronounce it) yang permintaan orang ramai, yang orang mahu tonton. di samping itu lah saya dapat profit". whatthefunk. you thought about us first, then the money? how sweet of you. maybe that explains why the media love you so much and granted you that center spread huh. (or maybe its the huge ang pow you give them). and i cant help myself from being reminded of that "small" feud he had with Norman KRU about whose film made it top in the charts. teoh claimed it was his, and Norman was so meticulous and enraged, i think, that he found it a need to demand teoh to prove his numbers. norman did the right thing. cakap gebang la lu.

and there's just so many things i need to let out of my chest, but i just couldnt.  here are some random things.


1. Le Tour de Langkawi demanded by Tun to be returned to Langkawi after some nitwit thought it could be a good idea to bring it elsewhere (coz there's a reason why its named the tour of Langkawi for heaven's sake lahhh. to promote langkawi and since its in kedah, to be at par with the penang tourism, which now has turned into a mini hongkong or singapore)

2. penang plans to open a quay residence, i have no idea where else they plan to build all this, but i have a feeling guan eng is going to approve yet another tambak-menambak project. and then the chinese will buy all these luxurious property, and because the malays cant afford it, they will move to seberang perai, or kedah, but out of penang. penang then achieved 100% chinese citizens as they dreamed. then penang will sink, because tanah tambak jadi lembut sebab air pantai yang semakin deras and too many high-rise. tak counter balance dowh. good luck guan eng and co.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

watching in glee

i know i said i didnt like the so-called better version of HSM, Glee after i only watched the first episode. but after i watched some episodes in between, i quite like it. i realised i only hated the show, coz of the main cast, whatever her name is (oh she played rachel i think). i peeved her shrieking annoying voice, and just the way she plays the character. sheesh. quite a spoiler considering the rest of the cast is pretty cool.

here's what really drawed me to the show:



my ever favourite song in the entire universe. and thumbs up to the choreography. not bad!


p/s: for the full song click here. the clip is mirrored, cant find any other version. but good all the same!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Uda dan Dara

 

Uda dan Dara adalah naskhah pertama teater muzikal yang dihasilkan oleh Sasterawan Negara Dato' (Dr) Usman Awang pada tahun 1972. Bermula dengan puisi Gadis Di Kuburan, puisi ini dikembangkan menjadi cerpen, drama radio, drama TV dan drama pentas.

Kini setelah 38 tahun, UA Enterprises Sdn Bhd buat pertama kalinya membawa Muzikal Uda dan Dara kembali. Kali ini ianya akan dipentaskan di Panggung Sari Istana Budaya, Kuala Lumpur.

Nantikan kemunculannya...

(taken from FB events from Haslina Usman)


p/s: penolong produksi adalah fasyali fadzly, yang pernah menjadi penolong pengarah kepada adlan ramly untuk produksi Whoa! Willow!! the musical januari lalu.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Monday, February 08, 2010

things i learn in class 3

i was an hour late for asian lit class today. entered the class casually, and sat listening to the discussion. it was comforting that the rain is pouring like no tomorrow so i had an excuse to be late. though i need not explain anything, i bet the lecturer made her own assumptions based on what she saw: me holding an umbrella, kain wet, hair slightly dishevelled, a pair of flip-flops, i-am-not-guilty expression on face. she must have made an inference that i was late cause of the rain, and i let her. i didnt say a thing.

i have to admit, i am not the kind of student who is always early. i occasionally come early, most of the times by accident (absurd, i know). but i dont think that makes me a bad student, entirely. i have always believed that it is better to be late than never. i know a lot of students are like me.

my record of coming late would be 2hours late for a 3hour class. so i still got 1hour's worth of lesson, didnt i? (though the last 1hour was allocated for class meeting, but whocares). i once came late into a class (4years ago and i still remember), and the lecturer looked at me, furious. she said "you're late". i said nonchalantly "oh, it's ok" and she snapped "but i'm not". pergh, that was a knife stab! that gave me the motivation to come (slightly) early for few weeks after that, before i started to come late again. bad habits are hard to die!

me and coming-late-to-class have been partners for years. i understand the nature truly, and have mastered the fine art of it. this is so, until i've heard testimonials from fellow friends saying things like "alah, biasa la dia tuhh kalau datang lambat". who are they to judge right? they dont know shit what i had to go through prior to that late-coming. maybe i was too tired and had to sleep? that doesnt mean i overslept, i just slept more. in fact it's the most foundation of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. what if i was too sleepy until i cant focus in class. wouldnt that be redundant for me to come to class and sit with my eyes closed, my minds elsewhere? i truly support those who feel that they want to come late to class, with valid reasons (verified by own). if they think in that circumstance it's ok for them to come late, i think "just do it!"

like if you come late to try to complete the assignment due in that class. i know its procrastinating, but maybe you're the kind of person who are inspired at the last minute? i believe it's ok if procrastinating is your game, as long as you know how to get it done on time (or not, depends on situation), and to get it done as best as it could be. dont lah procrastinate, and reflects in the quality of the end product. you gotta make it look as if you spent weeks/months working on it. end product is most important.

that's my two cents for today. hah. look who's talking right? lol yeah i speak from experience :p

Saturday, February 06, 2010

kesal


aku hanya bercakap
dan itu hanyalah kata-kata
aku tidak maksudkannya begitu.


Thursday, February 04, 2010

Mimpi Sang Realis

Mimpi Sang Realis (atau realisation sang pemimpi) ketika kaki dibasah air laut pada jam 3 pagi.


Sentiasa ada kau yang aku fikirkan
dan kau yang sebenarnya

sentiasa ada diriku yang aku tunjukkan
dan aku yang sebenarnya

sentiasa ada dunia seperti yang kita lihat
dan dunia yang sebenarnya

dan matahari dan bulan dan bintang-bintang di angkasa
dan pasir pantai dan ombak laut
dan gerombolan awan yang berarak
boleh jadi sedang mengikuti hati kita
dan menyanyikan perasaan kita

atau sekadar objek-objek mati yang memenuhi ruang.

- ledisordre '09
[Sajak Salun Eksotikata]


p/s: thanks chip (:

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

not very glad

.

what's fantastic about life is that nothing seems to really be what they look like.

that's a bonus, or disaster.

for now, a disaster.

.

Monday, February 01, 2010

indonesian's best exports

first saw it from dianarikasari's blog, then my interest was reinforced by zafirahanis when she showed me their cover of beyonce's telephone. and then, tatieta and i stalked them on youtube and they were just amazing! gamal, if you're reading this, we're huge fans of yours! come to malaysia!

here's gamal performing just dance by gaga.



watch gamal, his sister, Audrey and their friends on youtube. they've covered a lot of songs and written some originals. just search for gamaliel. absolute love!

Friday, January 29, 2010

hati pedih

kadang kala ada aku terfikir yang kita semua bina harapan hanya untuk dimusnahkan. tidak kira setinggi mana harapan, sebanyak mana keringat diperlukan , akhirnya harapan itu akan musnah juga.

paling memedihkan, apabila keyakinan yang tinggi telah diletakkan bersama. dengan keyakinan itu, kita menyemai harapan yang semakin lama akan tampak semakin mudah dicapai.

semakin hampir kita dengan harapan itu, semakin sukar kita menggapainya. tiba suatu saat, harapan itu hilang.

pedih, apabila keyakinan hancur bersama harapan.

dan itulah kehidupan; saat kita mengumpul kembali semangat dan keyakinan untuk membina harapan baru.

yang pesimis dan optimis sepakat: itulah hidup.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

sing with your body

nice to watch how people interpret songs and translate them into dance. here's a good example from So You Think You Can Dance.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

things that tickle

one of my favourite comic relief in high school, the Kelsey Grammer Sketch Show. haha. here's a short one.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

realiti negara aku 1

dalam beberapa hari ni, ada satu dua perkara yang buat aku berfikir. (selalu juga aku berfikir sebenarnya, tapi kali ni heavyload punya haha). dalam entri ni, aku cuma ingin kongsi satu perkara sahaja: realiti setempat.

apa maksud aku? mudah je, aku bercakap tentang status quo di Malaysia ni.

mengapa aku menulis dalam bahasa melayu? kerana aku tak tahu berbahasa cina mahupun tamil (satu lagi isu). dan aku tidak berbahasa inggeris kerana aku tidak mahu mat salleh2 sedunia membuat andaian terhadap negara aku bila membaca entri ini, apabila realitinya mereka tidak tahu pucuk pangkalnya.

hari ini aku nak membuahkan pendapat tentang cara-cara menguasai sesuatu negara. ada tiga cara utama, tapi aku akan hanya bincangkan yang pertama dahulu.

1. Ekonomi

aku tahu kau tahu tentang ini. dan realitinya memang distribusi hasil ekonomi di negara ini tidak selaras antara kaum-kaum yang ada. tiada kaum yang dipersalahkan di sini, cuma sejarah dan penjajah. berdasarkan sejarah, penjajah British telah mengamalkan dasar "divide and conquer", iaitu meletakkan sesuatu kaum di kawasan-kawasan tertentu bagi mengelakkan kebersatuan menentang propaganda mereka. dan secara "tidak sengaja", mereka menempatkan kaum cina di kawasan bandar, melayu di ladang, dan india di estet.

secara automatis, bandar menjadi pusat perdagangan dan perniagaan yang justeru menjadi metropolis bagi segala transaksi kewangan. di sini telah terbukti betapa sejarah memainkan peranan penting dalam membantu kaum cina membangun dengan pesat. hasil ladang kaum melayu di jual dengan harga borong di bandar-bandar ini dan kemudiannya dijual semula dengan harga komersial oleh orang-orang cina di sini.

masih tiada kaum yang dipersalahkan, aku hanya menyusun fakta.

dari sini, kaum cina telah jauh meninggalkan kaum melayu dalam menjana ekonomi. kaum india masih bekerja di estet dan juga jauh ketinggalan.

fast forward ke masa sekarang. siapa menguasai 80% ekonomi negara?

dunia hari ini berhambakan wang dan material. tanpa wang, tidak banyak yang boleh dilakukan. yang baik akan menjadi jahat. dengan wang, yang haram itu dihalalkan.

lantas kita bersetuju yang duit itu raja (aku tidak bersetuju, tentu sekali, tetapi itulah realiti. fahaman freemason yang sungguh berleluasa), jadi kita aplikasikan pada keadaan negara sekarang.

dengan wang, segalanya jadi. dengan wang, orang melayu dibeli (aka rasuah, kalau blur). bila ada duit, kau boleh arah, kau boleh dictate. contoh situasi, kaum cina nak upgrade sekolah mereka dengan kelengkapan ICT terkini, tetapi mendapat sedikit saja bantuan kewangan dari kerajaan. dengan adanya ibu bapa yang berpendapatan tinggi, mereka mengumpul wang PIBG dan menggunakan wang tersebut untuk upgrade. orang tidak boleh berkata apa-apa kerana itu adalah duit mereka. jika pun anak-anak mereka tidak pandai, mereka mempunyai wang untuk menghantar anak mereka ke tuisyen dan menjadikan mereka pandai.

dengan adanya wang, mereka tidak perlu mengharapkan dana kerajaan atau biasiswa (yang lazimnya di khusukan untuk pelajar-pelajar melayu) untuk menghantar anak mereka ke luar negara untuk lanjutkan pelajaran. secara kontrasnya, masih banyak lagi keluarga melayu yang hanya kais pagi makan pagi. hendal membeli buku latih tubi pun tidak lepas.

aku malas berhujah panjang, kau faham apa yang aku maksudkan. aku rumuskan:

wang itu raja. justeru siapa yang menguasai wang, dia lah raja. tanya balik diri sendiri, siapa yang pegang duit/ekonomi negara kita sekarang ni? jadi, siapa tuan, siapa hamba?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

such great depths

ah,
you think you've felt everything there is that your heart can feel.
but no, it will soon prove you wrong.
like it did me.

your heart is a crystal -
a prism that absorbs and reflects;
multiple sides, with layers of strong particles.
different lights injected at different sides,
will shoot different kinds of light out.

you think you know your anger,
your joy, your grim.
but no, you dont know them all too well.
you think you do, but they may surprise you.
they play games with you.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

redemption song

"Music is a vehicle.." - Marley

i wish i had existed during Marley's lifetime. i wish i can watch him perform live!

updated 22/01/10: what a coincidence! just as i was thinking of this song lately, Rihanna sang this song on Oprah for the Haiti Relief. great minds think alike! haha. and thanks to nadtash for telling me about this :) to watch, click here.

Monday, January 18, 2010

things i learn (or not) in class 2

had asian lit class today. it was, stuffy, i must say. but thats what i've been feeling most of the times lately, as i have three literature subjects this semester. i think literature classes that are teacher-centred tend to make me suffocate as i cant express my views. and these type of lecturers cant accept radical alternatives than those they've had embedded in their minds for yonks.

and so whats the point in studying literature in this case?

arent literature supposed to affect different people differently? if so, how is it that we cant have varying opinions and our own individual take on a piece of literature?

i've been thinking to myself, i need to say something or i'll explode coz of information over-load.
and also, damn three-hour lit classes; they should be banned! how can someone stand sitting in the same spot for that long and PLUS a literature subject PLUS a teacher-centred kind of learning environment. i clearly couldnt!

i really like the literature subjects like super-duper like them, but if i ever get lecturers like that ever again i swear i might flunk it! and i dont want that to happen! so help me oh dear ol' lecturers! i am suffocating in your classes!!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

to live is to die

i think, and it stemmed from you
that:
we were born to learn about life.
and through life we learn about death.

Friday, January 15, 2010

saw the Mona Lisa smile

i went out today. it was a happy day as i finally get to see the Leonardo Da Vinci exhibition at the pusat sains negara. went to see it with cruiserguy (as mojax cant make it..he'd rather be in genting. your loss! hehe) and met sherry ventig who worked part-time there.

we saw pretty much most of the da vinci's inventions (i dont know if all of them were exhibited there), and i have to say im very impressed. although cruiserguy decided to prove that da vinci's not so great after all, i still think he's got something genius. haha.

anyways, we got a little bit of that da vinci charm as we managed to solve the 'bridge' challenge. we had to remake a replica of a bridge that da vinci designed using sticks that came in two different lengths. we breezed through it like it was nobody's business and even took photos with it.

by that time, the place had to be closed. sherry brought us to hartamas and had food and discussed about all serious stuff possible to be talked about over food. it was headache fun, as it got pretty serious but i was sort of relieved to be able to feel comfortable talking about those shits with these people.

overall, i got to meet Mona Lisa face-to-face (in the painting lahh) and her gaze still followed me back. her smile, remains a mystery.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

lonely people vs loners


lonely people

they need someone or something to make them feel not lonely. they are often insecure and need reassurance. they lack attention and crave for it. they require TLC and prolly someone to tend to them. they want to be loved and to love. they need other people to be around them. but generally, it's more of an emotional thing.

the remedy: to have someone who would care, love and understand them.


loners

they just want to be alone. they are most of the times independant people. they can be individualistic and are entitled to their own values and desires. it is not impossible for these people to be in a relationship, but they need a lot of space. also through the alternative view, although they may go out in groups or hang out at crowded places, they can still be loners. loners are normally alone by choice made consciously. hence, they would unlikely feel lonely.

the remedy: realization that human beings are interdependant. and prove that they can't possibly dig their own graves.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

heavy boots

you wear those heavy boots again
dragging your great companions;
they who brought you wherever.

entering the nucleus of the march
of them the wearer of heavy boots;
they who left you to manouver.

to follow, be followed and to follow
you witness yourself being stamped;
with those who fall with you together.

you plead to be freed and let go
to finally be bare-footed in hard soil;
that you'll continue to walk miles after.

things i learned in class

in Mr. Arif's contemp literature lesson yesterday. i learned one thing:

"in every relationship, somebody, somehow has gotta sacrifice".


and i learned a quote, by J.P. Sartre:

"Hell, is everyone else".


i love going to class. it is the things out of the books; the life experiences that i can get from coming.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

hanging on

i realized i like to hang on to things. old text messages, yellowed letters and random notes from high school. cassettes that can no longer be used, receipts, newspaper cuttings, ornaments from long-gone festivities, envelopes..

to me these things bear a certain resonance. they have memories of their own. they help me remember details that i cant, or might lose someday.

as time goes by, i'll continue keeping the things i feel would help me walk the path of the past. especially for later on in life.